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Riding with a New Romantic Partner

Old 05-21-20, 11:53 AM
  #51  
Chrisp72
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Ok...So your advice on taking it easy is sound. I don't plan on marrying her when I see her on Friday...I'm using the experience from many of you to try and make things happen THAT I WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN. I'm aware that things may not go the way I hope they do but what's the harm in discussing possibilities? I'm not able to act on a lot of things I hope happen but to want them to is a strong desire at this point. Creepy as it sounds I'm willing to let things happen organically when we're together. I'm 48 and have dated before so I think I have a good head on my shoulders when it comes to them. I may not be married so I'm looking for more of an experienced opinion on how that may look? I have a long way to go in terms of things working out the way I hope they do but as Blondie say...'dreaming is free'.
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Old 05-21-20, 12:02 PM
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dating someone that doesnít cycle?!
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Old 05-21-20, 01:40 PM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
Maybe we can start a thread here on cycling and love that might steer off the beaten path of typical touring talk.
Letís not, OK? Thereís a forum for stuff like that. Itís called Foo. Scroll down the list of forums and check it out.
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Old 05-21-20, 10:14 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
...I may not be married.....
aha, there's the problem!

you need to figger out if you're already married, before you begin stalking a new one.
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Old 05-22-20, 04:11 AM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
Letís not, OK? Thereís a forum for stuff like that. Itís called Foo. Scroll down the list of forums and check it out.
Found it...Thank you!
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Old 05-22-20, 04:40 AM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
Hello all!

I have just begun to date a wonderful woman and I would like to try to introduce her to cycling. I'm not sure she's into riding a bike as the relationship is pretty new but I have the idea in my head. I was planning for a cycling trip for one...me...but that's changed now.

What's the best way to introduce someone to the concept of bicycle camping? I know Sophie is a fan of the outdoors so the camping part is an easy sell. I've had a good relationship in the past that involved bikes but not camping...this is new territory for me in more ways than one! I'm excited to try but would like some tips on how things might work in the future...
First meet someone who cycles.

Oh ... oops.

Since you fell over on the first step, the next thing is to tell her you're into cycling and ask her if she is too.
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Old 05-22-20, 04:46 AM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
phughes...Agreed. I'm happy to do so but we're not meeting up today...Wanted to contact the hive mind and get some assistance and advice...We've met up once and really hit it off. I'm looking forward to speaking with her but have to admit dreaming about a future together where we take our dog on a bike camping trip is delicious...
You've met once ... and "our dog"??

Do you know whether or not she has a bicycle? Do you know what kind of sports she likes? Or if she likes sports at all?

Do you know if she is a cat or dog person? Maybe she has 3 cats and 7 bicycles at home but she doesn't want to say anything about them to a person she met once ... not till you've talked a bit more.
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Old 05-22-20, 05:47 AM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by Machka View Post
You've met once ... and "our dog"??

Do you know whether or not she has a bicycle? Do you know what kind of sports she likes? Or if she likes sports at all?

Do you know if she is a cat or dog person? Maybe she has 3 cats and 7 bicycles at home but she doesn't want to say anything about them to a person she met once ... not till you've talked a bit more.
Machka...I know it seems pretty odd to be having a discussion about something so new when I don't have an idea of exactly what she's like. We have communicated for a couple of weeks before meeting up and had conversations. She's a dog person and so am I. I may be jumping the gun a bit in all this but I don't plan on overstepping my boundaries with her or doing anything that she's not comfortable with. I'm excited about the relationship and think it will go well but also realize that things may not go the way I hope they do. I'm ok with that too. I just have hopes at this early stage for life to hand me a little luck and what's the harm in dreaming? We are slowly getting to know each other but after some of the relationships I've had in the past I'm excited about this one. So far there are key components to a good relationship there and I wish to build on it. Things will go the way they go but asking for advice from people who have experience in this matter makes sense to me.
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Old 05-22-20, 05:51 AM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by saddlesores View Post
aha, there's the problem!

you need to figger out if you're already married, before you begin stalking a new one.
Ty0604?
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Old 05-22-20, 09:14 AM
  #60  
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Start with this: https://www.biking-france.com/destin.../loire-valley/

If your relationship survives, take on a more ambitious tour.
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Old 05-22-20, 09:50 AM
  #61  
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Try this. Go car camping first. Bring the bikes for day trips. I would start there.
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Old 05-22-20, 11:52 PM
  #62  
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Originally Posted by Leebo View Post
Try this. Go car camping first. Bring the bikes for day trips. I would start there.
I was about to suggest a similar thing.
1- Do a weekend credit card bike tour and see how she likes it
2- Do a car camping weekend and see the response.
If positive on both trips...the world is your oyster
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Old 05-23-20, 03:30 AM
  #63  
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Ok...an update after our second date...

I met up with Sophie and we travelled from her place in Toronto to a small town where she had spent some time earlier in her life called Milton. I being the driver had to rely on Sophie for directions, which for me isn't as easy as it sounds. I have never been to Milton before and had no idea where we were going or what the plan was...I just wanted to be with her and get to spend some time together. Sophie, upon getting into the car, professed to not being good with giving directions so I was a little nervous which is a common thing when I don't know where I am going. We headed off to Milton in the car and took the highway there.

Turns out that Milton is one of the nicest towns I have been to. I know there's a pandemic and we're not supposed to enter people's homes but I ended up spending time with some of Sophie's friends while down there. They were the most hospitable people I have ever met and I am normally nervous about entering someones home and tried to stay out on the front steps but they insisted I go inside. Not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable I gritted my teeth and entered. I know...it's a risk in these times to do something like that but I felt ok surprisingly when they asked me inside. I proceeded to play with their dog Xena the Rottweiler and had an awesome conversation with the hosts son. I felt very welcome and the atmosphere was great. Sophie wanted to go there to help her friend out and it turned out well for both of us.

Sophie was helping her friend who had suffered a stroke and had brought some food for her. This gesture shows me where Sophie's heart is when it comes to people she knows and makes me happier to know her. We didn't get into a conversation about bicycle camping but I felt that it would happen in time. The suggestion to go car camping with bikes is a great one and I think that's where we will start. I feel strange seeing this but Sophie and I meeting during this pandemic isn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I realize that I'm lucky and fortunate to be getting to know her and the funny thing is she feels the same way about me. As much as I would like to bicycle tour with Sophie it isn't the most important thing and I will be happy with her regardless of what we do. We think similarly and both agree that we're a good match.

I know that things are still starting out with our relationship. I know that I need to spend time with her to get to know her further. I realize that planning for a future is a risk as you never know what life has to offer. There's a part of me that thinks about pushing things forward to quickly and jeopardizing something before it starts. My rational brain is saying slow down and don't jump into anything too quickly. I sometimes think this is all too soon.

I also know that Sophie will make a loving partner and is a good catch. I feel I have lucked out and am excited to know her. I am fortunate to have met someone so attractive to me and with no warning signs. I'm sure there will be some small quirks that come up here and there but they're insignificant to me at this time. After two physical dates it's going out on a limb to say I would want to spend the rest of my life with her. But here I am...saying exactly that and having it feel so right.

I am lucky and I know it. Something like this happens to people once in a lifetime. I have found someone who feels the same way and that's as rare as hen's teeth.
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Old 05-23-20, 11:32 AM
  #64  
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Old 05-24-20, 12:29 AM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
Ok...an update after our second date...

.
Surprising, that being from the GTA you've never been to Milton. I have not been in 30 yrs, but I remember a cozy little farming town. We used to go rock climbing at Rattle Snake Point
For credit card touring I suggest Niagara on the Lake, it's flat, plenty of quiet country roads and romantic
For camping , you know you cannot beat Muskoka or the Bruce
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Old 05-24-20, 02:03 AM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by MarcusT View Post
Surprising, that being from the GTA you've never been to Milton. I have not been in 30 yrs, but I remember a cozy little farming town. We used to go rock climbing at Rattle Snake Point
For credit card touring I suggest Niagara on the Lake, it's flat, plenty of quiet country roads and romantic
For camping , you know you cannot beat Muskoka or the Bruce
MarcusT...I had been living in BC for roughly twenty years and have recently moved back from there and am now in Ontario...well three years ago. I hadn't really had a chance to explore areas of Ontario that didn't have a university campus on them when I was in my early twenties but will try and make up for it now. I feel there are many uncut gems hidden among the small towns and will look for them. Hopefully Sophie and I will do some more adventuring in the future.

Thank you for the tips on where to go in Ontario. Milton is pretty rad from what I can see and doesn't have many of the problems that the GTA has. It's worth exploring further. I hope to return there as I had a chance to meet some of Sophie's friends and experienced some pretty awesome hospitality. Rattle Snake Point is a key feature for the area so maybe we'll have a picnic there. I know that Sophie and I will go camping together in the future and I would like to see Tobermory, hopefully during the off season.
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Old 05-24-20, 07:04 AM
  #67  
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Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
Ok...an update after our second date...

I met up with Sophie and we travelled from her place in Toronto to a small town where she had spent some time earlier in her life called Milton...
Originally Posted by MarcusT View Post
Surprising, that being from the GTA you've never been to Milton. I have not been in 30 yrs, but I remember a cozy little farming town. We used to go rock climbing at Rattle Snake Point

For credit card touring I suggest Niagara on the Lake, it's flat, plenty of quiet country roads and romantic

For camping , you know you cannot beat Muskoka or the Bruce
Originally Posted by Chrisp72 View Post
MarcusT...I had been living in BC for roughly twenty years and have recently moved back from there and am now in Ontario...well three years ago.

I hadn't really had a chance to explore areas of Ontario that didn't have a university campus on them when I was in my early twenties but will try and make up for it now. I feel there are many uncut gems hidden among the small towns and will look for them.

Hopefully Sophie and I will do some more adventuring in the future.

Thank you for the tips on where to go in Ontario
Iíve been following this, and the other companion threads from the beginning, and earlier posted, partly for the romantic intrigue, and also because
Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
I got lucky during the Golden Age Bike Boom of the 1970s: We met in a college freshman course and our first mutual activity was cooking. I got the cycling bug first and she followed...
Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
Ö In Ann Arbor MI in the 70ís I really realized the utility of bicycles for commuting, and began touring on a five-speed Schwinn Suburban, but soon bought a Mercier as did my girlfriend, later my wife.We toured in Michigan and Ontario.

In 1977 we moved to Boston on our bikes, as a bicycling honeymoon from Los Angeles to Washington, DC and then took the train up to Boston.
. In particular I previously posted about riding in Toronto.
Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
...Again, I donít have any specific advice, but Toronto has been a favorite city of mine, and have posted about two visits that included cycling
FYA, our futher experiences in Ontario:
Originally Posted by clasher View Post
Is the bluewater bridge still open to bikes? I know there are sidewalks on the one span, but no idea if they're still around. If you want a nice campground, make the detour up to Pinery Provincial Park. It's a nice ride along the shore of Lake Huron, and not a bad ride back to Waterloo.

I plan on doing the Waterloo-Pinery ride in a few weeks. It's nice rolling country out that way, and a lot of nice quiet roads too
Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
Nice to hear about Pinery Park. That was a favorite destination (by car) when I lived in Detroit in the 1970's My girlfriend (now wife) and I cycled from Detroit over the Blue Water Bridge up the Lake Huron coast to Tobermory, Manitoulin Island and Sudbury, then took a train to Toronto and back to Detroit via Kitchener, where I had relatives.

BTW, there was a recent thread on the Great Lakes Regional Forum, "Detroit to Windsor Ontario," which included some remarks about crossing [by bicycle] at Port Huron, and Marine City:

https://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=546674
and

Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
BTW, My adult cycling started in the Detroit, MI area,and my then-girlfriend-now-wife and I toured in Southeastern MI and Ontario. FYA, we rode the Lake Huron coast through Goderich, among other towns, to the Bruce peninsula, Tobermory, Manitoulin Island to Sudbury, and train to Toronto, which we have visited on several occasions.

Another tour took us to London, ONT and Kitchener, where I have relatives. Pinery Provincial Park was a favorite day outing (by car from Detroit).

For a few years in the 1990's after moving to Boston we stayed at Clevelands House in the Muskoka Region. When we currently drive to Michigan from Boston,we pass from Buffalo to Sarnia.
Once on that segment in Ontario, my son and I visited Niagara-on-the-Lake, and it indeed was an unbelievably charming town.

Last edited by Jim from Boston; 05-24-20 at 07:11 AM.
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Old 05-24-20, 07:42 AM
  #68  
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ah youth, I remember torturing Wifey w/ long treks on skiis in Februray. she was a sport & passed the tests w/ flying colors. now I see my Daughter being tested by her fella with backpack camping & such. good luck. if ever there was a time to to make life changing decisions, it is now. meaning, leave nothing unsaid. we never know when it will be the last we say. in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. as-in the old adage: it’s not the things you do in life that you regret, it’s the thing you don’t do. Maybe it was Mark Twain who said it first?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

in my opinion, love is worth risking everything. I left NY for Boston, for love, but some 40 yrs later, she's gone & I remained, to meet my current Wife

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Old 05-28-20, 12:34 AM
  #69  
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Originally Posted by rumrunn6 View Post
ah youth, I remember torturing Wifey w/ long treks on skiis in Februray. she was a sport & passed the tests w/ flying colors. now I see my Daughter being tested by her fella with backpack camping & such. good luck. if ever there was a time to to make life changing decisions, it is now. meaning, leave nothing unsaid. we never know when it will be the last we say. in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. as-in the old adage: itís not the things you do in life that you regret, itís the thing you donít do. Maybe it was Mark Twain who said it first?

ďTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.Ē

in my opinion, love is worth risking everything. I left NY for Boston, for love, but some 40 yrs later, she's gone & I remained, to meet my current Wife
rumrunn6...Thank you! I don't feel like I'm risking things, even though I'm taking a chance. I too believe in putting it all out there if things feel right. Its still early in the relationship but its got a lot of potential. Now during the pandemic its a pivotal moment for me and I choose to try and get something positive out of it. Sophie isn't sending mixed signals and is honest and upfront about everything as far as I can tell. Things just feel right and regardless of whether we go bike camping our adventures are going to be good.

I haven't considered having a life partner for a while. I may be jumping the gun but I'll say that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Sophie. She's a keeper and a catch and that doesn't happen very often.
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Old 05-29-20, 11:07 AM
  #70  
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What I have done on bike tours by myself is completely different than what I do on bike trips with my wife. Tip: don't plan a trip you want to do, plan a trip she wants to do and incorporate elements you enjoy. When taking new people you haven't traveled with, definitely don't make it a dream trip for you, because if they don't enjoy it, you're SOL.

My wife likes riding rail-trails, so that is largely what we do. No camping, stay in cute B&Bs or such, she gets a shower every night, we get a prepared breakfast and don't have to pack crap up before leaving, then we turn the day into a 45-60 mile rail trail type ride. It is what she enjoys doing on a bike so she stays content, I get time to stop at bars or points of interest so I have a good time. She had no interest in bike camping in Iceland with me when I went in 2017, so she didn't come and I didn't try to make her.

Originally Posted by alan s View Post
Start with this: https://www.biking-france.com/destin.../loire-valley/
If your relationship survives, take on a more ambitious tour.
Lovely ride. The wife and I did the majority of it in 2018, nothing but good things to say (other than it was 95F every day...).
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Old 05-29-20, 03:35 PM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by jefnvk View Post
What I have done on bike tours by myself is completely different than what I do on bike trips with my wife. Tip: don't plan a trip you want to do, plan a trip she wants to do and incorporate elements you enjoy. When taking new people you haven't traveled with, definitely don't make it a dream trip for you, because if they don't enjoy it, you're SOL.

My wife likes riding rail-trails, so that is largely what we do. No camping, stay in cute B&Bs or such, she gets a shower every night, we get a prepared breakfast and don't have to pack crap up before leaving, then we turn the day into a 45-60 mile rail trail type ride. It is what she enjoys doing on a bike so she stays content, I get time to stop at bars or points of interest so I have a good time. She had no interest in bike camping in Iceland with me when I went in 2017, so she didn't come and I didn't try to make her.



Lovely ride. The wife and I did the majority of it in 2018, nothing but good things to say (other than it was 95F every day...).

smart advice dude
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Old 06-03-20, 03:28 AM
  #72  
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So an update...

Sophie has said that she doesn't ride bikes, which means we start from scratch. I'm looking forward to camping with her and hiking but cycling together is not on the list for now. Maybe one day I can introduce her to riding a bicycle but there's a long way to go before we could go for a short bike/camping outing. I will bring my bicycle to camping so she can see how things operate with no expectations from me on her riding it. We're different heights and builds and my bike is too big for her...she's a bit shorter than me. If she expressed interest in trying the bike I will go forward with it but the ball is in her court as far as whether she rides or not.
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Old 06-03-20, 10:51 AM
  #73  
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No offense, but you guys barely know each other. Instead of trying to get her to like something you like. Take time to get to know her for who she is. At the same time, Bike Forums isn't really the best place to play this out.
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Old 06-07-20, 03:51 PM
  #74  
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A word to the wise: Never make any major life decisions while in the "infatuation" stage of a relationship. Experience speaking, learned the hard way. Give it a couple of years. That's all I'm saying about that.

I was once in your position. My "new" girlfriend (not the one alluded to above) expressed an interest in doing a bike tour with me. We had been dating about 8 months. She had heard about all my tours and wanted to give it a try. She had been on a bicycle a grand total of 4 times in her entire life. I tried to inject some reality into the situation by telling her that it isn't easy, there are plenty of difficult and uncomfortable times on tour, there's weather and bugs to deal with, sometimes exhaustion, etc., etc., etc. She would not be deterred. So we got her a bike, some panniers, and she started doing day rides with me to get in shape.

A few months later we set out. She did fine on days one and two, which were flat and relatively short. Day three was still relatively flat but longer. But it warmed up and she bonked. We were nowhere near any services, so I tried to keep her eating and drinking. When we got to a store she sucked down some gatorade which helped a lot, and we got a room, took a day off. She was ok on the 4th day of riding, but day 5 required a fairly decent climb about 3 miles long followed by 50 miles of gradual downhill on a two-lane highway with a narrow shoulder and plenty of logging trucks. The last 20 miles was into a brutal headwind and the temperature was 90+ degrees. She was miserable and in tears by the end of the day.

When we made it to our motel I suggested we throw in the towel. She felt really bad because she really wanted to finish this tour, but reality had hit her in the face and she now knew that bicycle touring just wasn't for her. She couldn't see the point of it. And I knew if I tried to urge her to continue on for another 400 miles, she would probably end up hating me. And that's the last thing I wanted, because she is an incredible woman. So we rented a car and drove back home.

That was 9 years ago. We are still together and have an incredible relationship. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She doesn't bike tour, and that's just fine with me. She has no problem with me doing it, and more than once she has flown out to meet me while on tour thousands of miles away from her.

I think it's just as well that you and your gal aren't doing a tour anytime soon. It's the kind of thing that could easily backfire on you, especially since you don't yet know each other well. Traveling with others can be hard enough when it's just an easy road trip. With a brand new romantic interest, and one who isn't into cycling, or isn't sure whether or not she's into it, it could be disastrous.

Last edited by simplygib; 06-07-20 at 04:29 PM.
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