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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 07-08-20, 08:05 AM
  #14026  
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The best sex he ever had was during the 6th grade.
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 07-08-20, 08:23 AM
  #14027  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
The best sex he ever had was during the 6th grade.
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Old 07-08-20, 08:28 AM
  #14028  
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...he wast the partner in Adam Sandler's first marriage.
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Old 07-08-20, 08:51 AM
  #14029  
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Was Liberace's "very personal" hairdresser and wardrobe apprentice.
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Old 07-08-20, 11:54 AM
  #14030  
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...when he was in third grade, the teachers nicknamed him "Liberace", because he was the peein'ist. His hand was always in the air, asking for another bathroom hall pass.
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Old 07-08-20, 07:45 PM
  #14031  
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At “Heavenly Rockers Rest” he’s known as the “Limpist”.
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Old 07-08-20, 08:19 PM
  #14032  
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...once strapped explosives to his body and rigged a dead man switch to gain control of the TV remote.
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Old 07-08-20, 09:53 PM
  #14033  
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Being a man of the past and of strong habits, he still gets up off the couch to push the channel button on his TV.
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Old 07-08-20, 10:37 PM
  #14034  
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Being a man of the past in the present he curses the plastic coat hangers for their poor reception.
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Old 07-09-20, 08:03 AM
  #14035  
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Windows in car illegally tinted to hide corn dog addiction.
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Old 07-09-20, 08:30 AM
  #14036  
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Sits in his car at dinner time, and has his wife roller skate out to his car when she brings his food to him.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:09 AM
  #14037  
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Wonders when his family is going to let him out of his double secret quarantine.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:16 AM
  #14038  
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Never.... gets HIS oil changed.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:25 AM
  #14039  
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Is the reason why we can't have nice things here.
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Old 07-09-20, 12:21 PM
  #14040  
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
Is the reason why we can't have nice things here.

Whew.. Homerun.

Beat.. that.
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Old 07-09-20, 04:53 PM
  #14041  
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23 and Me test results came back father is Don Knotts.

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Old 07-09-20, 07:08 PM
  #14042  
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Is the secret love child of Clara Edwards and Ernest T. Bass.
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 07-09-20, 09:35 PM
  #14043  
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When they do talk with him, his parents say there had to have been a mix up at the hospital when he was born.
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Old 07-09-20, 10:24 PM
  #14044  
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Using his mother's family stories, that she told to him as a kid, as a guide, he's still frustrated to this day with Ancestry .com for their not having a cabbage patch section on their website.
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Old 07-09-20, 10:33 PM
  #14045  
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...when he sits in the bedroom at his computer, surrounded by his extensive collection of Cabbage Patch dolls, it's hard for him to understand why people keep saying, "This is why we can't have nice things."
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Old 07-10-20, 04:22 AM
  #14046  
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Doesn't have a clue about nice things.
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Old 07-10-20, 04:40 AM
  #14047  
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In his contract with Internet Brands, there is a clause in which he is specifically directed to never, under any circumstance, go near the nice things on the forums.
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 07-10-20, 07:16 AM
  #14048  
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Labors in his workshop cross breeding a cabbage patch doll with a furby.
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Old 07-10-20, 08:30 AM
  #14049  
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Waiting for marriage or at least til he finds a girl that will let him f her.

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Old 07-10-20, 08:35 AM
  #14050  
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Considers the special edition Slurpee cups from the 7-11 to be the good stuff.
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