Jtgyk

I'd been pondering what to do for rides this weekend, as I have Thursday - Saturday off work.

I'd decided that I was going to get some long rides in and in preparation spent Thurs doing bike maintenance.
(wrestling with conti's off and on mavic rims of the Trek....NO FUN)

We started out this morning with me on the Nashbar tourer and I heard a noise maybe coming from the rear hub. No problem...I'll take it to the shop later and switch it out with the Trek. I take the Trek down and apparently managed to pinch the tube putting the @%#$ tire on the front.
"No problem!", I say to myself somewhat less cheerily.....I'll just go slower and take the Hardrock...I wanted a workout anyway and I was riding with a slower friend. "We'll just stick to the bike path."

As we were riding a park about 10 miles into the ride, cruising along around 15 mph, I (in the front) came round a bend to see on of the bigger @#$@#% snakes I've seen in awhile laying almost completely across the path. Having no time to identify said snake (and forgetting that Richard was following close behind), and this being Texas, I said, "OH MY GOODNESS" (paraphrased) and locked up my brakes.............which had just been replaced at the shop.....with coolstops......More language (which I won't be including...since you all have pretty good imaginations out there in clyde land.)...and the floating feeling in slow motion...before sliding a ways on elbow and head and later thigh and knee...TOWARD the snake.

"OH MY GOLLY GOODNESS", I say.
Meanwhile...behind me, I feel my buddy make contact with my bike.....
"Well Poopie", I think to myself. Luckily...I somehow break most of his fall.

We watch in slow motion (Sam Peckinpa eat your heart out) as a lone water bottle gently rolls up to the snake, which prods it into a striking position, and we see that has a round head...not triagular. It gives us a bad look and slithers off the path (the good part of the show being over).

After much groaning and taking inventory of body parts (followed by bike parts) and the washing of the road rash (thank you ice water in polar bottles) the spousal unit (Darlin' Angel of Mercy...Susan) was called and made a roadside pick up.


My Inventory includes a rashed elbow, LARGE swollen contusion on my thigh, and a bit of scraping and bruising on knee and shin. I bent the handlebars and broke the left hand shifter (managed to bungee up the cable enough to ride the granny ring back to the parking lot.

Richard came out with a bruised (hopefully) rib and hand.

(would have had nice juicy pics...but the daughter probably has my camera as her's isn't working.

I always thought that I'd not be able to endo...what with my weight and (up until now) relatively "meh" stopping power of regular brake pads.
Thanks Cool Stops....You've given me the ability to do incredibly stupid stunts, too.

Jtgyk

.....Oh yeah!

I'm probably not doing any longer distance rides tomorrow.

Tex_Arcana

You should MS Paint your mishap!

Glad things didn't go too far south on you. When lots of stuff goes bad like that all at once I figure it's to make up for all the times everything was freaking great.

It's a balance of the universe thing.

txvintage

*WARNING, The following post is being written under the influence of prescription narcotic pain medication*

And this explains why when the traveling TX road show pulled into Jtgyk's driveway around 9:00AM there was no one to be found. I already had around 20 miles behind me and about 16 or so to go before I would get home. It was also probably 90 degrees already, or near it.

I was beginning to experience some discomfort under my right knee cap and figured some nice A/C and rest would be a good idea before resuming the ride. Hence the side trip.

It seems about the time I was leaving Jtgyk a voice mail from the shade in his driveway he was executing a flying dismount to do hand to snake combat with the indigenous Diamond Back Anacondasin Mamba, a deadly species unique to North Texas that lays in wait along well traveled paths waiting to strike unsuspecting cyclists in order to snare their water bottles. This explains why he was unable to take my call.

I headed back out from his House and found a nice shaded bench at a nearby school and proceeded to take in mondo fluids and a banana. The rest stop ended up being a bit longer than I had panned and when I got up to resume the ride my discomfort had turned to outright pain. Did I mention that I was a good ways from home?

I slowly meandered my way toward home intentionally soft pedaling and coasting where I could until after about 6 miles I came to an intersection that is a very nasty incline as it meets the cross street. I had to turn left and had to cross a couple of lanes to get to the turn lane. As I hammered up the slope to catch the light I felt and heard a pop on the outside of my right knee. I coasted up to the curb and staggered over under some trees and laid there while it felt like I was getting shot repeatedly in the right knee.

Well, I was maybe 8 miles from home and things were looking bad. I decided to drop down the granny gear and soft pedal my way home. The problem with this strategy was that it meant going slooooooooowwwwwwwwwww and the temp was steadily climbing. According to my vision things were going swimmingly until I had to make my way through another left hand turn at a major intersection. As those of us who live in a metro area know, intersections should be cleared quickly. The decision to take the interaction at speed proved to be a bad choice.

As the light changed and I took off, the last straw for the right knee gave up the fight. I actually screamed as I entered the intersection and grabbed my right knee. I then one foot pedaled over to pedestrian sidewalk entrance and grabbed the light pole. About 6 feet from me was a member of a local race team in full kit waiting for the light to change. As I'm hugging the pole I actually heard the guy laughing. I looked up at him and he just shook his head and pedaled off. A real AKC registered Road Nazi.

I hobbled over to the pharmacy and got out of the sun and tried to walk it off. This was complicated by my knee not wanting to support weight. I figured with the two hills I was facing in the next 8 miles my ride was done. Out with the cell phone and time for the medivac.

After I got home and downed some fluids and self medicated I looked at my phone and saw the missed call from Jtgyk at right about the time I was deciding to start stalking a particular team kit. I called him up and learned his ride had also gone just ducky as well.

Tomorrow is now a TdF watching day and possible wrenching session for the N.Texas chapter of Disaster Clydes. Our ride is summarily canceled.

Jtgyk

---Diamond Back Anacondasin Mamba, a deadly species unique to North Texas that lays in wait along well traveled paths waiting to strike unsuspecting cyclists in order to snare their water bottles---

I knew I should have ridden the cheap Mongoose...I would've pwned that snake.

Now at 3:30, I'm starting to feel the effects of the fun.
The left shoulder doesn't like me raising my arm over 90 degrees.
The left knee tells me it doesn't appreciate my repeated bending.
The Thigh and I are not on speaking terms at the moment (it said it looks fat and locked itself in its room)
the offer of ice has at least shut it up from blubbering. Small steps....small steps.

Bruised, Battered, and Bewildered am Iiiiiiii. (sounds like a song don't it?)
At least I'm not Gov Perry....with his broken collarbone....mansion....chauffeur....yes men....money...nice hair....

But I didn't wind up doing 30-ish miles on bad knees.

Yikes Tx!

txvintage

Want some drugs? I have extra and they seem to work.

My neighbor who flew the medivac truck has proclaimed me a dumbass for not realizing I'm not 30 anymore. He doesn't get it.

The spousal unit questions my sanity, yet she knows me. She doesn't get it either, but supports the effort.

The Darling Daughter gets it.

DD: "Too far?"
Dad: "Yep"
DD: "Sucks"
Dad: "Yep"
DD: "Takin' tomorrow off?"
Dad: "Yep"

txvintage

Hey, I'm just this GUY...you know?
My nice new Nashbar Touring Build (gotta think of a better name...)
1995 Trek 1220 AKA "Jimi"
Older Non-suspension Specialized Hardrock

1. Kermit
2. Green Lantern
3. Slimeinator
4. Green Machine
5. Gang Green
6. The Gecko

More after my next dose.

Jtgyk

Sigh...they'll never understand....
I get the same "Sucks to be you, dad!" response from my own loving daughter.

Drugs? Nah, methinks I like 'em a tiiiiiny bit too much.
(of course ask me tomorrow, when I'm trying to get out of bed.....heh)

Jtgyk

Bikezilla
Snot Roller
THE FLYING AVACODOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!
Bud
Ruthina
QE II
Scout (Tonto's horse)

txvintage

Gumby

txvintage

Shhhhhhhhh! People will start to talk

Jtgyk

oopsie!

ahem when I get out of my...bed....with my wife.....and..uh...nobody else there.....um......'cause....well.....ooooh..............................nevermind.

(clears throat, scratches, spits, and strikes a manly pose)

cyclefreaksix

Jeebus! It's prolly a good thing you two trainwrecks didn't get together for a ride. One of you would be in a bodycast by now!! I'm ridin' into work in the early a.m. and I'm hoping the Texas curse doesn't get me. I'll let ya know...

Jtgyk

The Texas Tour:
(just a little karmic overload)



when the home made halogen headlight goes wrong...."Over-Volting? Psssh!"

txvintage

Ya know what's semi sorta kinda ironic is that when I left the house in Wylie I first rode to Medical Center Plano at 14th and Coit to see the wife. She works in the O/R department and they were already swamped with a trauma case with multiple shattered bones, and it was 8:00 AM

Maybe I shoulda just stopped at Waffle House.

Watch out for those Daimaond Back Annacodassin Mambas. Tricky little devils they are.

Neil_B

You know, after reading about the misadventures of the Laurel and Hardy of Texas Clyde-cycling - perhaps calling them the Hardy and Hardy of Texas Clyde-cycling is more accurate a description - I don't feel so bad about merely having some chafing problems.

Neil_B

I hope both of you get better soon.

Jtgyk

chafing?
I had chafing.
Chafing on my arm, leg, knee, and helmet. Excess friction between me and the cement.

(Next time Tx and I get together we might call it Critical Mass...though with less police aggravation...and a medical team on standby)

Neil_B

You might consider renaming the team Critical Mess.

txvintage

The day after has been interesting. The expoding knee feels much better but the other knee is revolting for having to carry the load for about 6 miles.

Neither feel very well.

txvintage

Oh, how the truth does hurt, lol.

Jtgyk

The brakes went out in the van today...
rode "The Flying Avocado" ("l'avocat de vol" in French)
from and to the garage (around 3 mi total) without undue distress.
I'm feeling a little soreness in the whole body context.

I guess if i ever crash this one it will be reborn as Holy Guacamole!

BigPolishJimmy

Perhaps the N.Texas chapter of Disaster Clydes should have an extension office in Michigan. 4 miles in yesterday I was thinking about you guys and said to myself "Man they are missing this, ...bummer" If I only knew.

bullschuck

I know I'm not on the inside on this extended in joke, but you know that means, roughly, flight lawyer, right?

Jtgyk

heh...
One gets interesting automatic translations when using English to French software.
I should have run it back through the other way, too.