roadiejorge 

Wise move considering selling it now might end up in major bike purchase later. My wife has come a long way in regards to bike purchases, she just never thought of bikes as being expensive so when I'd tell her how much things cost she'd be in shock. She's always supported my riding though and now that she sees I'm pretty practical with purchases she doesn't bug me about them.

carpediemracing 

I mentioned your dilemma to the Missus. She asked me (seriously) if the fiancee was giving anything up too. lol.

aham23

snow fluirries this morning. just a slight smack in the face from mother nature.

almost.

that is all. later.

Hida Yanra

yeah... she isn't wired quite like that. She was feeling really bad that I was selling my stuff and she wasn't - that's certainly part of the complexity in this situation.
She is generous and a dreamer... I'm generous and a rather pragmatic accountant.

That said, we come from different financial backgrounds and I don't fault her for it at all.

Her family has plenty of money, and she's never needed to make divisively painful financial decisions,
my background... well, this wouldn't be anywhere near the first time that I disposed of things that had value to me.

We have had a number of long talks in the last few days about what is important to us - and it looks a lot better to me.
The numbers weren't working out to get what we wanted with the money available to us (she's a grad student... so, make your own conclusions about funding sources)
I am absolutely fine with selling stuff I have now to get stuff I value more - but that felt like a series of deaths to her.
(I mean, if I sell the cervelo frame for 600 and buy a tsunami for 750 in a year... that's not so bad, eh? - in her mind, once you own something, you shouldn't ever be forced to give it up, and certainly not to get money out of it.)

We met in the middle - expectations have been adjusted, and so has our fiscal approach.

Her grandma recently gave Mme Hida her share of the inheritance with the enjoinder to "enjoy it now and throw a party or something, so you can tell me about it while I'm still alive... throw a big party or something"
She decided to contribute quite a bit of that to match what I was putting in, so we are now equal partners in funding the wedding... I certainly didn't think she'd do that - but it fulfills all the requirements of the gift - and it is her money to spend... so, okay :-)

JohnKScott

Sounds very cool. I enjoyed reading that.

caloso

Sweet. It's like she cut off her hair to buy you a pocket watch chain.

botto 

wanders

what does alanis morissette have to do with any of this?

Hida Yanra

you know, she totally would.
and I'd sell my cervelo to buy her a hair appt at her favorite spa




the part of our relationship that I am the proudest of is our ability, willingness, & (above all) desire to find a place in the middle for both of us.
Even though we come from incredibly different socio-economic backgrounds, we are incredibly set on making this highly visible first of the next phase of our relationship be one that reinforces what is important to us... Sharing the load, working together, and making decisions that are fully & jointly "ours".

She said she only wanted one ring, and didn't want it to be fancy or have a rock in it - so I got her something that is 100% her, and I've never seen another like it.
I said I don't like the social construction where women display their 'taken-ness' by wearing their rings from engagement on - but men don't... so she is getting mine and I'll start to wear it in the next week or so.

carpediemracing 

We were kind of in the same situation. I was working in IT, had some money, I sold my house that I had for 15? years, had more money, she's been working steadily as a (non-CPA) accountant so she made money. We just spent what we felt was okay. If we thought it was crazy we nixed it, and I skipped buying stuff for myself for a year to get her her ring (I decided to do the ring thing even though I just watched Blood Diamond etc etc).

If we got married now we'd have a different kind of day. My income's been slashed severely, 70-80% for a while after I was off of unemployment. You know it's bad when you drop a couple choices down in multiple choice questions on household income . Our biggest thing was that we should be free and clear when we were done with everything. No debt, no credit card bills. I guess that was our barometer, come to think of it.

Ultimately you should have a good time. Celebrate. And all will be good.

carpediemracing 

Heh. I felt left out for the 18 months that she had a ring and I didn't. I felt like I wasn't being socially honest.

botto 

look at you, you leg shaving metrosexuals.

echappist

CDR & Hida, Thanks for sharing. The stories are almost a bit too cute
Do the Frodo Baggins when you race. It did wonders for this guy

SushiJoe

I am, in fact, among the living again though horrendously out of shape!

jwible

Work is a PITA today. It's 70 degrees out and there's an awful glare from the sun that's making it difficult for me to see my laptop from the back porch. And my toes are a little chilly when the breeze kicks up. This sucks.

hammy56

carpediemracing 

awesome pic

hammy56

if any of my cats saw him theyd crap.

big john

Don't they crap anyway?

jwible

Things are better now Hammy. The sun is shining nicely on my pasty legs. Nice and warm....

substructure

I've been watching old WB cartoons from the 50s. Man, I miss those ... well not anymore. But I love them.

One of my all time favorites

hammy56

too much at times...

big john

When I was with my wife we had cats. She wrote to me on fb, first time in 9 years, and told me the one that was 'mine' was dead at 18. Landshark, or Sharky, feral LA cat in New Hampshire.

hammy56

truly classic 'toons Sub. I use to love the one where B. Bunny goes up against the gangsters.

caloso

Your ex finds you on facebook to tell you your cat is dead? I'm not sure if that's sweet or creepy or mean.