Bethany

Since dropping soda (most of it anyway) I've lost weight and while I'm elated there's this odd sense of loss that I'm not sure how to deal with. I'm not used to "less" of me and I haven't adjusted to it. Is this normal and does it go away as you get used to a new you?

The only thing I've found frustrating about dropping soda is how much sugar is still in everything you drink. It's almost why bother? Juice has this sickly syrupy taste and everything else has that fake sugar chemical taste.

gunner65

I always have to ask why drink anything other than water? If caffeine is needed green tea is a wonderful source.

InOmaha

I had to buy new pants. That was a big adjustment.

For about 6 months, I thought to myself, "Self, you look great". That went away eventually and I set a new target to hit to get me down closer to were I should actually be.

Every once and while I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time and they comment that I've lost weight. I don't think about it that often, rather I think about working out and eating right to be healthy. So I must have adjusted.

Pamestique 

You should not bother... Water and water products like ice tea (regular brewed not sweeten) is all you need. Almost every diet program says stay away from fruit juice or severly limit its intake.

Personally I don't get the person who loses weight and is at odds with it. Every pound I lose I relish and enjoy. The skirt I have on right now I bought two months ago and is loose already. Good! Another donation I can make to Salvation Army. They are really benefitting from my "loss".

Start counting blessings and stop focusing on negatives - if the feeling does not go away, considering some counseling - you may have body dismorphic issues...

HelpMeRhonda

Bravo........

HelpMeRhonda

bravo.................

Wooden Tiger

I've lost a few pounds (not enough to make a difference in my appearance just yet...) and I have a severe weakness for Arizona Iced Tea, which happens to contain HFCS. My wife and I went shopping last night and I didn't want soda and am trying to stay away from the Arizona Iced Tea, yet I still enjoy a good, sweet drink. She "discovered" this Tropicana "Farmland" or something. The flavor is Strawberry/Banana and I found it to taste like a strawberry daiquiri. It's pretty good and contains strawberry, banana, sweet potato, grape, and beet juice in it. It sounds like a strange combo but I really like it and there's no sugar added, it's 100% fruit/vegetable juice. Check it out!

nymtber

I lost enough since fall to drop a pant size. What did that mean? I had to buy ANOTHER new pair of pants. I was freakin' ecstatic! Although I feel my weight loss slowing. Been cold and snowy and I've been kinda blah feeling lately. Need it to warm up, clean the roads of salt, and get out on the bike.

My bike jersey I bought last year that fit but was a little snug fits fine now. My bike shorts fit a bit looser. I can't wait to lose more

Neil_B

I hate to disagree with some folks here, but for some of us, namely the former super-obese, there is an adjustment period we go through, and it can be very difficult. Folks who lose a pant size don't have the same way of thinking that someone who loses half their body weight. Dealing with said adjustment and "loss" isn't a matter of focusing on the negative, its confronting some of what made you super obese in the first place.

If you want a specific example, here's one from my experience.... it took a while for me to accept that women might find me attractive. When I was new to weight loss and was near my goal I'd have women flirt with me and I'd not know how to handle it. After all, I was a fat guy, clearly these women were either mocking me or felt sorry for me. It took me a while to get used to the fact I WASN'T 400 pounds and unattractive. (I feel much better about my appearance these days, incidentally.)

A woman I knew online a few years ago wrote about the same situation for her sex. She mentioned that after she lost a lot of weight she suddenly had men interested in her, and like me she didn't know how to handle the attention. She said that being fat for her was "flying under the radar" - no one noticed her when she was obese. Losing weight meant she had to give up that anonymity.

Bethany

Neil,

Thanks for the post as that's what I was looking for. When I got thinking about why I was struggling I realized I needed to purge out my closet. I dumped everything that was too small hoping I'd fit into them some day and dumped clothing that was too big now. A huge burden has been lifted. I don't feel like I'm missing part of me due to wearing the same clothing and freeing myself of a size I'll never be gave me permission to enjoy what I've lost in weight and gained in confidence.

Then I went out and bought some clothes that do fit.

Wooden Tiger

My wife was on some very strange diet and lost nearly 100 lbs. Since that time, she's gained a lot of it back, but nonetheless, she went through some emotional changes. She had been heavy for so long she was certain she just wasn't able to do anything. After losing weight, she was ready to run all over the place and "live." At that point we started doing everything that was nearly impossible or what she thought was impossible for her; long walks, actual mountain biking, and even did a few zip lines. Prior to losing weight, she was beyond the weight limit for zip lines and as far as mountain biking, that was outta the question. She was sure she couldn't pedal and would break the bike. Would she have? Maybe so, but I dunno. I'm not a bike mechanic/builder so I don't know how much stress a frame can handle.

And then there were the physical attributes she had trouble dealing with, which was mainly excess flab. While she lost weight, she expressed how "disgusting" she looked. She felt like she looked worse after losing all the weight than before. She had a lot of flab under her arms (wings) and not just a little bit, but a lot of hanging skin, and the same went for her stomach, thighs, etc. It was really hard for her to feel attractive, especially after she just knew she was going to look great afterwards.

That diet was a nightmare in disguise. I can't recall the name of it but it was something where she had her blood taken, then it was sent off to a lab and the diet was customized to her DNA or something. I read over it and the food portions were ridiculously small and the foods on the diet were pretty limited. There were also instructions to limit exercise. This was a red flag to me and immediately screamed, "STARVATION!"

Well, as my wife always does, when she's determined to do something, she does it. She stuck to the diet like a trooper and saw immediate results. She complained about how she was always hungry, tired, and just felt..."blah." I told her it was because she was basically starving herself.

After a while she decided to "treat herself" to a good burger, fries, and some ice cream. She became violently ill for the following four days. It started with stomach cramps and pains, followed by diarrhea, nausea, and lethargy. Things were not good. After "paying for it," she returned to the diet and then again decided to treat herself and wound up with the same results. One would think the lesson was learned but it wasn't as she returned to the diet again.

Time went by and she decided she wanted to go for a bike ride. We started riding and I was immediately far faster than she was. It wasn't until halfway through the ride that my stupid self realized it wasn't I who had gotten faster, but her who had gotten much slower. Simply put, she didn't have the energy. While I was always bringing up the rear by at least 1/8 mile, it was now her 1/8 mile behind me. I knew this wasn't good.

Eventually, she just dumped the diet altogether and gained back about 70% of her lost weight, maybe more, and we're now starting to ride again. Once again, while she's heavier than I am, she's still leaving me in the dust and a lot of people who appear to be in far better shape than she is. It's not uncommon for her to get strange looks along the path by far smaller men and women that just glance at her and figure they're just going to power right by her on the climbs. The sight is absolutely priceless when she just pulls right by them.

Nowadays, we're both changing our diets together and we're going to see how it works as a support system between the two of us. Sure, we treat ourselves every now and then, but for the most part we're sticking to a stricter regimen than before. Weight loss can have a huge emotional impact as some of us here are well aware. When people get used to a certain type of treatment or acting a particular way for such a long period of time, when things change, they "lose themselves." All of a sudden, the world just changes; how they're perceived, spoken to, looked at, treated, etc. and it's almost as if social skills need to be totally relearned. I feel for the people who go through these extreme transformations. While things wouldn't change much for me, changes can be extreme for people who have been very heavy for very long periods of their lives.

Neil_B

A friend of mine who posts here told me he had a "strong emotional reaction" to giving up his "fat clothes." Even though he'd been at or near goal weight for a year, getting rid of all his 4x and 5x stuff was hard to do. It meant a portion of his life was over.....

youcoming

I'm not sure when super obese comes into play but when I was 310+ I wore nothing but track pants as I just never felt right in pants or jeans. I did have one pair of jeans I would wear if my wife insisted. I have yet to get rid of them, I think I will always keep them but yes it's a big adjustment. For me I would always do a double take in the mirror, and as Neil the attention from the other sex was not something I expected. I still slip up on my diet from time to time but if I don't have a day of guilt free pleasures once in awhile I go on binges of food and booze, I don't even keep rum in the house anymore. I can pass the beer, rye whatever but rum is my weakness. Feel good about what you have done with your life Bethany and remember water is our friend.

Neil_B

Yes, the double take when looking in the mirror is a common story. I had trouble with it for years. So did Tom Stormcrowe. It takes some time to stop seeing yourself as a fat man, and at times that means literally seeing yourself as a fat man.

Hill-Pumper

I've been a non-Clyde for almost three years now, and I still have a couple pairs of "Fat pants" in my closet. Part of it is fear that I may slip up and need them again. The other part is I am too cheap to get rid of them because they are still good. Anyway, I still find it hard to call myself a skinny person even after being one for the last three years. I guess after years of being big, there is a emotional residue from the stigma of being large.

indyfabz

I cannot imagine feeling a sense of loss at losing weight other than a sense of losing weight, which I always find pleasurable.

contango 

I found it odd when, having got used to my clothes being snug on me in all the wrong ways, those same clothes were sufficiently loose that I really needed to go buy some smaller ones.

I drink tea and coffee more than I did before and when I eat out in the US I drink unsweetened iced tea. That way I can let the waitress bring me as many refills as she wants without wondering just how much sugar or how much chemically crap in the form of sugar replacements I'm drinking. It's also less bland than plain water.

RGNY

i still identify myself as a "big guy", even though i went from 275 to 190 (6', hovering around 200 w/ less activity in winter, goal is 185 this year).

for me it was compounded because i was obese but -strong-. i was powerlifting with decent numbers. i had a pretty good gut, but regularly squatted 650x5x3. i -liked- being strong, but injuries and age made me change my activities. now i'm in sports that create a leaner physique (cycling/boxing/fencing), but i still miss the old me that could Hulk-out and toss things around that others at the gym couldn't lift.

i'm healthier now, in better shape at 42 than i was at 30, but that guy was cool.

ChuckD6421 

Bethany mentioned an interesting observation about juices, and I just wanted to touch on that because there's reason to be concerned about the sugar in juice:


(credit: Travis Saunders, MSc, CEP of the Obesity Panacea blog)

The take-away is that while juice is a better alternative than soft drinks,:

"..this is by far the most intuitive reason to try to limit the amount of juice you consume. You would never consider sitting down and eating 6 oranges in succession – that is obviously far more orange than anyone needs in the entire day, let alone a single sitting. But when you drink a bottle of orange juice, that is essentially what you’re doing."

Personally, I love the V8 "Fusion" juices and drink 8 oz. every morning, cut with 8 oz. of water. Because like Bethany, I've come to find straight juice far too syrupy to feel good about it.

Well done Beth!

jim p

I don't know what to say to help you. I am an old guy and I went from 213 down to 155. I did this in about 3 months. My friends would ask me if I was sick and I was lethargic and didn't have much energy to spare so my bike riding was very slow. This made me have doubts about what I was doing but I just had to see what it would be like to be a light weight. Knowing that I am weaker and not as big makes me feel a little vulnerable or more like a target for a mugging or bullying but knowing that I am so much better health wise makes up for that.

I have been holding at around 155 for about a year and I enjoy being light. I tell people that if I can I am going to lose down to the bottom of my BMI. They say that I am too skinny now being that I am 6' and 155. I tell them that if I asked them to carry around a 5 lb weight all day that they would think that I was crazy and that I feel crazy for carrying around any extra weight that I don't need in the form of fat or even muscle. See I also think that carrying around extra muscle is not a good thing either. I do like bone mass and I am willing to carry around all the bones that my body can grow.

Here are some things that I think will help us all.
Number one is to praise God for everything.
Number two look at yourself in the mirror eye to eye and say that "I love myself and I approve of myself just as I am"
Number three say several time a day " I am getting better and better every day in every way. The world is getting better and better every day in every way and my connection with God is getting better and better every day in every way.

I feel that doing these things will bring out negative feeling and emotions so that you can realize the things that are making you feel badly. Once you have identified the causes of your emotions you can decide a course of actions to deal with them.

I am not a doctor so try the above at your own risk.

I wish the best for you and hope that you become happy with your new condition.

ChuckD6421 

But what if she doesn't believe in a god, I don't?

chefisaac

I would say, for me, its not about a "loss" but a gain in a lot of things. However, these things come with the need to get used to them and the feeling they bring to you. Is it different? Yes. Is it scary? It can be. Is it fun? It can be.

I get what you are saying for sure.

chefisaac

Also good to put them on from time to time and see just how far you've come

CraigB

My reaction, too. Clearly, praising God isn't going to help us all. I understand that most all the 12-steps out there include a giving over of control to, or at least acknowledging a god, however one defines it. If that's a hard and fast requirement for those programs I doubt I could complete one successfully.

youcoming

Lets just keep our religious views and beliefs out of posts so they don't get shut down.