Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2
06-29-19, 08:17 AM
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Still banned from Wal-Mart, they say he doesn't measure up to their standards.
06-29-19, 01:14 PM
Banned.
Unable to travel to Mars, he did the next best thing, and decided to do his testing on Walmartian methane bursts here on Earth. "Some of the subjects can be real stinkers about their getting tested", he was quoted saying in the Wallyworld monthly.
06-29-19, 02:31 PM
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Went out last night and really shook his moneymaker. The only things that fell out were a couple of pennies, one nickel, a returned check and a decoder ring.
06-29-19, 02:50 PM
What happened?
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Plays nice.
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06-29-19, 07:37 PM
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Sensitive, yet tuff.
06-29-19, 08:13 PM
Banned.
Thanks to his barely a one night stand with an engineer's wife, with it eventually leading the way for the inspiration of Silly Putty.
06-29-19, 08:38 PM
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Finally scored on one night stand at the antique mall.
06-30-19, 06:51 PM
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Actually blew the house down.
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06-30-19, 09:20 PM
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Considers the Book of Matches his guiding light and divine scripture for its list of 24 hour access 900 numbers for his daily “confessional”.
06-30-19, 11:50 PM
Banned.
His version of the "Good Book " is a match book with his bail bondsman's phone number on the cover.
07-01-19, 04:12 AM
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Misdials it on purpose to get the 'sexy chat' line.
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07-02-19, 08:14 AM
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Once again, Congratulations to @dynodonn as he is once more named "Curmudgeon of the Month" at Misty Memories Senior Living.
07-02-19, 08:19 AM
Banned.
His rest home applauded heavily when he finally scored 3 out of 10 basic questions on his memory test.
07-02-19, 08:27 PM
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His rest home applauded when he and Rosy Palm finally tied the knot.
07-03-19, 08:26 AM
Banned.
Still jealous that I was able to steal Rosey away from him, since she likes men who can still hoist their flag to the top of the pole.
07-03-19, 11:24 AM
on by
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Blames his recent weak-sauce lying on the Cloudflare outage.
https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/02/a-...es-everywhere/
https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/02/a-...es-everywhere/
07-03-19, 05:21 PM
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Is going fire up the grill this 4th of July and cook some juicy BBQ fibs.
07-03-19, 07:28 PM
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Lighting up his grill means swallowing a good dose of Everclear.
07-03-19, 11:42 PM
Banned.
Is still in mourning with his friends Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels, and Lord Calvert over the loss of Jim Beam's 45,000 barrels of whiskey.
07-04-19, 01:53 PM
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His neighbors have given him the sobriquet "Mr. Peanut" not only for his shape, rough skin and the monocle he effects, but because he has taken to public urination while singing a line from the Star Spangled Banner; "Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed..."
07-04-19, 08:24 PM
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Expecting to be called to yet another fireworks related fire, the local fire department was surprised to see just how much damage assposo caused by lighting another fart.
07-04-19, 10:13 PM
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...has absolutely no personal experience with regard to the explosive potential of human flatulence.
07-04-19, 10:17 PM
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...is not seriously thinking about looking for that lost decoder ring.
...is not seriously thinking about looking for that lost decoder ring.
