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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 06-29-19, 08:17 AM
  #12401  
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Still banned from Wal-Mart, they say he doesn't measure up to their standards.
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Old 06-29-19, 01:14 PM
  #12402  
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Unable to travel to Mars, he did the next best thing, and decided to do his testing on Walmartian methane bursts here on Earth. "Some of the subjects can be real stinkers about their getting tested", he was quoted saying in the Wallyworld monthly.
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Old 06-29-19, 02:31 PM
  #12403  
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Went out last night and really shook his moneymaker. The only things that fell out were a couple of pennies, one nickel, a returned check and a decoder ring.
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Old 06-29-19, 02:50 PM
  #12404  
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Plays nice.
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Old 06-29-19, 07:37 PM
  #12405  
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Sensitive, yet tuff.
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Old 06-29-19, 08:13 PM
  #12406  
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Thanks to his barely a one night stand with an engineer's wife, with it eventually leading the way for the inspiration of Silly Putty.
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Old 06-29-19, 08:38 PM
  #12407  
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Finally scored on one night stand at the antique mall.
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Old 06-30-19, 06:51 PM
  #12408  
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Actually blew the house down.
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Old 06-30-19, 08:22 PM
  #12409  
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Is still snickering in his leaving the book of matches in @Jseis's bathroom.
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Old 06-30-19, 09:20 PM
  #12410  
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Considers the Book of Matches his guiding light and divine scripture for its list of 24 hour access 900 numbers for his daily “confessional”.
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Old 06-30-19, 11:50 PM
  #12411  
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His version of the "Good Book " is a match book with his bail bondsman's phone number on the cover.
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Old 07-01-19, 04:12 AM
  #12412  
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Misdials it on purpose to get the 'sexy chat' line.
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Old 07-01-19, 08:09 AM
  #12413  
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Marcia Brady regularly calls him to do a quick afternoon ride with him.
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Old 07-02-19, 08:14 AM
  #12414  
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Once again, Congratulations to @dynodonn as he is once more named "Curmudgeon of the Month" at Misty Memories Senior Living.
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Old 07-02-19, 08:19 AM
  #12415  
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His rest home applauded heavily when he finally scored 3 out of 10 basic questions on his memory test.
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Old 07-02-19, 08:27 PM
  #12416  
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His rest home applauded when he and Rosy Palm finally tied the knot.
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Old 07-03-19, 08:26 AM
  #12417  
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Still jealous that I was able to steal Rosey away from him, since she likes men who can still hoist their flag to the top of the pole.
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Old 07-03-19, 11:24 AM
  #12418  
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Blames his recent weak-sauce lying on the Cloudflare outage.
https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/02/a-...es-everywhere/
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Old 07-03-19, 05:21 PM
  #12419  
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Is going fire up the grill this 4th of July and cook some juicy BBQ fibs.
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Old 07-03-19, 07:28 PM
  #12420  
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Lighting up his grill means swallowing a good dose of Everclear.
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Old 07-03-19, 11:42 PM
  #12421  
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Is still in mourning with his friends Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels, and Lord Calvert over the loss of Jim Beam's 45,000 barrels of whiskey.
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Old 07-04-19, 01:53 PM
  #12422  
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His neighbors have given him the sobriquet "Mr. Peanut" not only for his shape, rough skin and the monocle he effects, but because he has taken to public urination while singing a line from the Star Spangled Banner; "Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed..."
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Old 07-04-19, 08:24 PM
  #12423  
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Expecting to be called to yet another fireworks related fire, the local fire department was surprised to see just how much damage assposo caused by lighting another fart.
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Old 07-04-19, 10:13 PM
  #12424  
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...has absolutely no personal experience with regard to the explosive potential of human flatulence.
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Old 07-04-19, 10:17 PM
  #12425  
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...is not seriously thinking about looking for that lost decoder ring.
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