Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2
07-04-19, 11:47 PM
Banned.
After a fiery burrito, a cloud of flatulent dust, he was heard saying. "Ow! Oh *****, outta my way!"
Along with puzzled looking bystanders asking "Who was that gassed man?
Along with puzzled looking bystanders asking "Who was that gassed man?
07-05-19, 12:40 AM
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...having looked everywhere at home, and retraced his steps a dozen times, he's anxious that someone else might be searching for his lost decoder ring.
...having looked everywhere at home, and retraced his steps a dozen times, he's anxious that someone else might be searching for his lost decoder ring.
07-05-19, 05:36 AM
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Needs a de-odor ring,,,
07-05-19, 07:32 AM
Banned.
Still sitting by his tube radio, listening intently for another "Drink more Ovaltine" secret message.
07-05-19, 09:33 AM
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...since the tragic loss of the decoder ring (AKA "My Precioussss"), he has been obsessed with taking it back from master Frodo.
...since the tragic loss of the decoder ring (AKA "My Precioussss"), he has been obsessed with taking it back from master Frodo.
07-05-19, 11:03 AM
on by
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Gives a f about an oxford comma.
(language, duh)
(language, duh)
07-05-19, 11:57 AM
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...recently suffered the tragic loss of his cat, Mr Fluffikins, in a comedy of errors kicked off by punctuation.
...recently suffered the tragic loss of his cat, Mr Fluffikins, in a comedy of errors kicked off by punctuation.
07-06-19, 07:43 AM
Banned.
In his neighborhood, his family is known as " The Baker's Dozen", and a considerable ruckus can heard from their household whenever his wife's period goes missing again.
07-06-19, 09:09 AM
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Found @3alarmer's wife's missing period in her semicolon.
07-06-19, 03:04 PM
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...likes colonoscopies. He's had five of them done in the past six months. "They're great for weight loss," he says.
07-06-19, 06:27 PM
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Disappointed with the fifth as it was only a semicolonoscopy. The doc shrugged “you pay half, you get half”.
07-06-19, 08:01 PM
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...his internet meme titling business is poised to take off. "Half a colon is better than none," is trending at this very moment.
07-06-19, 10:18 PM
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Is titillated by his titular presence at titling.
07-07-19, 07:54 AM
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Makes an annual pilgrimage to Bolivia where he delights in asking "¿Qué camino al Lago Titicaca?" over and over and over.
07-07-19, 11:01 AM
Banned.
Is proud of his plastic surgeon's personal choice of the South end of a Northbound horse, with his wife's gloating approval, and her saying that "His new look fits him to a tee".
07-07-19, 12:54 PM
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...has long been suspect as a sock account identity for Kellyanne Conway. With her use of the phrase "gloating approval", she manages to further document the case file.
07-07-19, 05:38 PM
Banned.
He has now exposed my true identity, and for being my inspiration for coining the term "alterative facts"
07-07-19, 05:49 PM
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...standing tall in the face of adversity, she makes me proud to be an American. I can hardly wait to see my lies go viral, once the major news services pick up on this.
07-07-19, 07:40 PM
What happened?
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Scientists believe they have found a cure for the viral lies.
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I don't know nothing, and I memorized it in school and got this here paper I'm proud of to show it.
07-07-19, 07:46 PM
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...his modesty precludes any mention of his own science credentials. He has forgotten more science than most of us ever knew in the first place. Eat your heart out Neil deGrasse Tyson, we have @Rollfast, and he's never been accused of sexual misconduct.
07-08-19, 07:12 AM
Banned.
In his youth, he had aspirations of winning a Nobel, but now he just looks forward to the dinner bell.
07-08-19, 09:45 AM
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Don't need no stinkin' dinner bell...
07-08-19, 02:00 PM
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Spent the weekend in front of the TV sitting on his mobility scooter watching the Tour de France dreaming of some sweet new moves to try out during his next visit to Wal-Mart.
07-08-19, 05:56 PM
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...only today, he called a press conference with his attorney and accused @Rollfast of sexual misconduct. We are all saddened by the allegations.
07-08-19, 08:00 PM
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The FBI raided his one bedroom sixth floor walkup and found an enormous hoard of pictures of @Rollfast. The authorities are charging him with "being weird, very weird."
