dcrowell

There must be some strong marriages out there.

I was married to my first wife for 13 years. Neither of us would have considered living car-free at the time. It was an alien concept. If I would have come up with it, the marriage wouldn't have lasted 13 years.

It was after my first divorce that I started riding a bike, and later started thinking about living car-free.

Then I met Kristy, my current wife. She's not a cyclist, and not interested in living car-free. She does understand the car-free concept. She dated a guy who rode a bike everywhere years ago.

She wanted to move out of my crappy house (which was over 16 miles from my workplace), so I was more than happy to move into town. That allowed me to be almost car-free. I couldn't sell my truck, but I didn't have to drive it.

Now that we're divorcing, I'm working toward selling the crappy house (short-sale, blah). Once she's moved out (using the truck for that), I'll put the truck up for sale. It's actually worth more than I owe at this point.

Oh, and kids! If you raise them from a young age to be car-free, they'll be fine. It'll be normal to them. My 19-year old daughter is now car-free and doesn't have a license, but it was tough getting here there.

When she was 15, I was teaching her to drive, and I had bought her a car. She eventually got frustrated and gave up. I sold the car. Two years later, I tried teaching her to drive again. This time I didn't buy her a car. She gave up again.

When I started riding a bike in 2008, I also bought her one. It spent a lot of time parked, and she left it with me when she moved away to Michigan. Since she moved back, she's been riding it all over town. She loves her bike now. The new wheels and dyno-hub probably have something to do with that.

Okay, that was long and rambling, but I guess the point is, I'm not sure how an average American family can become car-free unless everyone in the household really wants to. Young children are impressionable and will adjust easily. The adults both must want the change.

I'm going to remain living alone after my divorce because I enjoy my lifestyle and don't want to bring a car into it again.

wahoonc

I was car free (well I owned one but it didn't run) when I met my first wife. Something happened along the way and she came to dislike bicycles...and me.
Second wife understands, but because of our jobs and where we live it isn't going to happen anytime soon. But she accepts the fact that I like bicycles and will ride them every chance I get.

Both of my children (first marriage) live car free at the moment. They are 25 and 26. They both have a driver's license and will drive when necessary. My son doesn't want a car and at this point I can't ever see him buying one. He lives in the Boston area and is happy with mass transit and wants a bicycle. I am building one up for him. My daughter will buy a car if necessary but will do what she can to minimize driving. Currently lives in Seattle car free, she has a bicycle that I gave her a year or so ago. It just got loaded on Amtrak for it's trip to the East Coast. She is going back to school in NH this fall for her masters. She has already asked about what it would take to have a winter bike built up Dad will be happy to oblige, I have just the bike

I think exposing children to things like car free living or even car light living is good. If the parent(s) can stick to their ideals it gives the children something solid to build on. However they also need to be their own person and make their own choices. I look around at some of my coworkers and people I graduated from high school with and see the problems they have with their children and their lifestyles and I am glad I have made the choices I have. I am also extremely proud of my two, they are contributing members of society, each in their own way. I might not have chosen the paths they did, but they chose and I feel they have done very well.

Aaron

Roody

I guess the average American family cannot be carfree. But the above average family can be, if there's a consensus that they want to be.

gerv 

In most North American situations, it takes a strong commitment from both partners to live without a car.

Just yesterday I spoke with a friend, who was talking to me about the fact that I don't have a car. She said, " You know.. we didn't have a car for about 7 years, until my first daughter was 2 years old".

I believe this is a common story and pretty much reflects reality in most North American cities.

However, if would be pretty easy to live in a very car light or completely carfree family if cities had better infrastructure and were designed for more walking/riding/urban transport. I think a lot of young families find it difficult to cope with young children and all the things you have to organize to keep the family going.

This would be a lot easier if you could easily get to the grocery store and work without a car. It would also help if schools were set up to get kids in by foot or bus.

I think stories like yours are pretty common. Especially in sprawling North American cities.

However, having a young family only lasts a few years and many who get through those years often revert, like myself, to.. again... not using a car.

My thought is that to fix this we shouldn't necessarily look to find mates who are as committed to the goal as we are... rather we should work to change the society around us. One little bit at a time.

CarFreeFam4

In our particular situation, I was the one pushing to be car-free, and my husband was recalcitrant in his opposition initially. I had floated the idea of selling the car several times to get out from under the payment. I can't remember exactly how long I spent trying to convince him, a few months at least. Then fate intervened and the car was totaled. He consented to not replacing the car immediately, just to see how it went. We both assumed it was a temporary situation, just until we could get our finances evened out. A few months turned into a year and a half, when we decided that we actually preferred being car-free and the situation became permanent.

As for the kiddos, well, the youngest was not quite a year, so she doesn't remember us ever having a car. The older one was five and had a few things to say about it, but he came along eventually. I'm not sure he's completely on board at this point because he gets some guff at school about us not having a car. Frankly, I'm not terribly concerned about what the eight year-old has to say about the transportation choices my husband and I make. He talks regularly about buying a car when he turns 16. My line is the same as it always has been. He can buy any car he likes when he has the money to be completely responsible for purchasing it and all costs associated with the operation of said car.

I think I probably could have convinced my husband eventually, even without the wreck. I generally get my way, even it takes some work.

Rona

My children are 14 and 17 and have embraced the car free lifestyle, but only because we moved to a society where it's so easy to get around by public transport and car. It's proven to be more freedom for them than how we lived in the country side. When they want to go to a store, mall, movies or concert they now just hop on the bike and go.

Before, they would have to beg me to drive them somewhere because the nearest grocery store was 8 miles from our minifarm.

At first they protested that they didn't like bicycles, but now they are major converts. The idea of having no minivan caused major complaints and they had to HTFU, learn to walk and bike in the rain and snow. I think it was very good for them.

wahoonc

Having the infrastructure for them to do that is a major plus. Unfortunately in many places in the US there is NO WHERE to ride a bike except on the road in traffic with the motor vehicles. Too many subdivisions in the US are built on the "lollipop" plan one way in and out, it dumps on to a higher speed arterial, that feed to yet another one that takes you to the mall.

When we lived in town my two could bike, with supervision, to school and other places, but due to certain major roadways they could not bike alone. Unfortunately zoning laws in many places in the US have placed housing far from things like stores and entertainment venues. They cluster housing on one end of the county and commercial on the other. Another issue we ran into was sports. Both of mine play soccer, when we first started practices were at the local rec center which could be biked to. Games were all over the city, so a car was usually necessary. In their third year they built a huge soccer complex out on the edge of town, it is only accessible by a 6-7 lane road that I won't ride on. So much for being able to ride bikes to practice.

Aaron

Roody

I have been carfree for a long time, but I'm new to the carfree family thing because my son, his GF, her mother, and the 12 year old grandson just moved in with me. Oh, with 2 cats...suddenly...no warning. I guess we're really car-light since the mother has a car that the kids can use for big shopping trips and "emergencies."

It's been quite an adjustment for everybody, as you can imagine. My son and I were used to carfree cycling. His GF and her mother are basically sedentary. I bought the kid a bike about a week ago, and he was soon outriding me. We have been on fairly long rides, up to 20 miles. My son also rides with him fairly often, so he has two good role models--three actually, since he also rides with his real father, who is carfree.

I swear that I have never coached my grandson or tried to persuade him to be carfree. But he has had some interesting thoughts on the subject:

Rona

>>>Unfortunately in many places in the US there is NO WHERE to ride a bike except on the road in traffic with the motor vehicles.>>

Oh yes.. I'm quite familiar. When we were in the US, we lived on a minifarm where the nearest grocery was 8 miles away. The nearest school was 6 in the opposite direction. My days were spent driving to school (I worked there too) then driving home, dropping off the boys, going to the nearest town for milk or what ever, then going home for a giant nap because by that time I was sick of work and sick of the car. If we had soccer, it was straight from the school to town, no stopping at the house to go 15 miles to the sports center. I loved the farm and made my own goat cheeses. We had fresh eggs and chicken meat... but the kids could not bike on the street. You wouldn't see a car for 20 to 30 minutes, but when you did they were going 75 down a 55mph road.

In the mornings there was a group of road bikers who came through-- about 15 to 20 of them in a herd. I would sit on the front porch and watch them with admiration. I got my first bike after 15 years, got out on the road. Saw a few cars act like dipwads. Started taking my bike in the car to the parks just to ride. Sad really.

Met my current husband, came here to NL for many many vacations, decided it was full of the awesome. Got rid of car... and farm... and now we are in an urban environment. The best part? the cheese here is better so I dont have to make it myself!

wahoonc

Rona,
Did not realize you had lived in the US...

To be fair there are some places that have some cycling infrastructure, but in most cases it only reaches a small portion of the populace. But then again, how many really want to ride? I know the polls indicate a fair number, but I would really be interested to see how many really would given the option.

Aaron

Roody

Fortunately, we have a great Rivertrail here in Lansing. In just a couple weeks with my 12 year old grandson, we have ridden to the library, downtown Lansing and East Lansing, the swimming beach, the big university campus, and about 50 playgrounds--all without riding in traffic for more than a few minutes, if at all. Soon we will be going to the zoo.

The bad part about living so close to a good trail is that it's making me lazy about teaching the kid to ride in traffic. IMO, it's agood idea for every transportation cyclist learn the skills needed to ride in traffic eventually.

gerv 

We have an equivalent to your trail system. I think every mid west city has a bike trail running next to the local creek system. Unfortunately here the trail is impassible in winter and underwater during the flood season. If they are doing any repairs on the trail, it'll be closed. That's when you get to hone your traffic skills.

Roody

Our trails are usually plowed before the streets are. There is seasonal flooding, but alternate routes are usually available, or sometimes it's fun to throw caution to the wind and just ride through the flood. (Although I probably wouldn't do that with a 12 year old. His mother would kill me!)

gerv 

Even when the trails are clear, there usually aren't a lot of people on them and I get concerned about being broke down or hurt in really cold temps. I find the streets a little safer and traffic usually isn't that bad.

Some of these river trails though have great scenery and the air is perfect.