What do you say when ...
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What do you say when ...
How do you respond to people who tell you, "I'm worried about you out there on a bike with all those crazy drivers and drunks?"
My adult son, starting to get more into commuting, asked me this weekend. I've been commuting to the same office for coming up on 10 years, only about 1% of that driving, so everyone is used to me and I never hear that sort of thing. So I had to think for a moment.
My first thought was you don't have to say anything - it's none of their business and they don't know anything about it if it was. But maybe a young guy, 21, can't get by with that as easily and needs to respond to that (passive aggressive commentary). I settled on just shrug and say "works for me", and leave it at that unless they get obnoxious, although a snarky comeback is tempting.
How do you respond?
My adult son, starting to get more into commuting, asked me this weekend. I've been commuting to the same office for coming up on 10 years, only about 1% of that driving, so everyone is used to me and I never hear that sort of thing. So I had to think for a moment.
My first thought was you don't have to say anything - it's none of their business and they don't know anything about it if it was. But maybe a young guy, 21, can't get by with that as easily and needs to respond to that (passive aggressive commentary). I settled on just shrug and say "works for me", and leave it at that unless they get obnoxious, although a snarky comeback is tempting.
How do you respond?
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Sometimes a loved one is just worried. Who asked your son this? A beloved family member who cares about him or some random stranger?
I had the same conversation with my wife this weekend.
Think of it from the other person's point of view if they don't ride in traffic themselves. It looks terrifying! Without knowing anything about riding in the road it looks super dangerous to a passive observer! And for obvious reasons!
You are only comfortable with it because you've done it for years. You know how to stay as safe as possible and you're willing to accept the remaining risk. Maybe explain what those things are that keep you safe are...how you see the traffic...how bright your flashing lights are....how you keep your distance form cars, etc. Sometimes people are scared because they don't understand. A little explaining can help a lot.
Of course you also have the busy body strangers you run into in the office building who feel like their comment of 'I would never risk my life riding a bike like that' has some kind of merit. For those people...just ignore them. I mean really...who cares what some random stranger thinks?
I had the same conversation with my wife this weekend.
Think of it from the other person's point of view if they don't ride in traffic themselves. It looks terrifying! Without knowing anything about riding in the road it looks super dangerous to a passive observer! And for obvious reasons!
You are only comfortable with it because you've done it for years. You know how to stay as safe as possible and you're willing to accept the remaining risk. Maybe explain what those things are that keep you safe are...how you see the traffic...how bright your flashing lights are....how you keep your distance form cars, etc. Sometimes people are scared because they don't understand. A little explaining can help a lot.
Of course you also have the busy body strangers you run into in the office building who feel like their comment of 'I would never risk my life riding a bike like that' has some kind of merit. For those people...just ignore them. I mean really...who cares what some random stranger thinks?
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"thank you. yes, I'm careful. thank you"
it is tiring tho
it might help, depending on how many ppl are coming to him, to let them know some of the safety precautions he uses
it is tiring tho
it might help, depending on how many ppl are coming to him, to let them know some of the safety precautions he uses
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Think of it from the other person's point of view if they don't ride in traffic themselves. It looks terrifying! Without knowing anything about riding in the road it looks super dangerous to a passive observer! And for obvious reasons!
You are only comfortable with it because you've done it for years. You know how to stay as safe as possible and you're willing to accept the remaining risk.
#7
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I'm totally honest with them. There were 400 accident with cars last year on my 9mi2 island. It comes with the territory. 50 or so casualties and a few fatalities as well.
I continue with you don't give up something that you enjoy because someone else is causing a problem. That's a basic life lesson that should be instilled from birth.
Here's a recent life-altering incident:
Link to 1 APR incident
I continue with you don't give up something that you enjoy because someone else is causing a problem. That's a basic life lesson that should be instilled from birth.
Here's a recent life-altering incident:
Link to 1 APR incident
Last edited by acidfast7; 04-22-19 at 12:04 PM.
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#9
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I would say a cyclist has 1/5the risk of fatality from those crazy drivers than another driver has.
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I'm totally honest with them. There were 400 accident with cars last year on my 9mi2 island. It comes with the territory. 50 or so casualties and a few fatalities as well.
I continue with you don't give up something that you enjoy because someone else is causing a problem. That's a basic life lesson that should be instilled from birth.
Here's a recent life-altering incident:
Link to 1 APR incident
I continue with you don't give up something that you enjoy because someone else is causing a problem. That's a basic life lesson that should be instilled from birth.
Here's a recent life-altering incident:
Link to 1 APR incident
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That's what I do, but I'm old enough to not care at all what any random person thinks. And even less that what they think might bother them. 21 may have more issues in that regard though.
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"Why yes, I have a higher chance of dying in a collision, but I also have a much lower chance of developing heart disease due to reducing my sedentary time in the car. Heart disease is the number one preventable killer, you know! Why do you add to that risk by sitting down in the car? That's too risky for me."
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Family and Friends; I thank them for expressing their concern & show them my route to work on Strava. I don't take the most direct route. I talk them through my journey and the fact I've managed to work out a 70% non-road commute, I also confirm I adopt the approach that 'I have a family and I ride like I remember that fact". I add that my bike commute is quicker than my old bus and train commute (which has never failed to amaze people).
Incredulous souls at work; as above, and I add that although the commute is not the most exciting, it's exciting enough for me
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I show them my commute videos. That usually bores them into submission, and makes them realize there is very little drama.
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#15
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Tell them it's more dangerous walking and then point out all the stories where bad drivers jump the curb and smash into Walmart, McDonalds, and bus shelters.
Then ask why bad driving is acceptable that they would rather maintain bad drivers on the road than bicycles that do no harm.
Then ask why bad driving is acceptable that they would rather maintain bad drivers on the road than bicycles that do no harm.
Last edited by Daniel4; 04-22-19 at 02:51 PM.
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The only people at work I would want to put at ease are those who have some influence over my future employment here. Everyone else? They can think whatever they want.
My family deserves the conversation.
My family deserves the conversation.
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#17
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We take risks with everything we do. One thing I miss about living in Germany is the Autobahn. I would always see how fast people drive, or monitor how fast I would drive based on traffic.
On the whole, it was a very stressful experience compared to the UK and US as one has to be really aware as the speed difference are much greater.
I'm quite happy driving 120-130 with my family if the weather is good and there's little traffic. Other people would drive 130 all the time, which boggled mind. Often, with the same reasoning in this thread.
The reason I bring it is that it's easier to suss someone out by Autobahn driving than bike commuting as it was more frequent and people never questioned bike commuting in Frankfurt.
On the whole, it was a very stressful experience compared to the UK and US as one has to be really aware as the speed difference are much greater.
I'm quite happy driving 120-130 with my family if the weather is good and there's little traffic. Other people would drive 130 all the time, which boggled mind. Often, with the same reasoning in this thread.
The reason I bring it is that it's easier to suss someone out by Autobahn driving than bike commuting as it was more frequent and people never questioned bike commuting in Frankfurt.
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A decent subset of my FB friends are high school classmates. I can tell which ones have kept active. They're the ones not complaining about chronic health issues.
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#19
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"Don't worry. I just assume everyone will do the dumbest and most dangerous thing possible. I'm wrong 99.9% of the time, but I'm ready when I'm right. It's way safer and easier than people think."
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I fail to see what's wrong with someone expressing concern or showing interest about your safety? It's a good time to remind them there are so many idiots on the road you're glad they realize how vulnerable cyclists and pedestrians are, and thank them for being careful the next time they are behind the wheel?
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I fail to see what's wrong with someone expressing concern or showing interest about your safety? It's a good time to remind them there are so many idiots on the road you're glad they realize how vulnerable cyclists and pedestrians are, and thank them for being careful the next time they are behind the wheel?
#22
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If a bull entered a China Shop, would you keep the bull in there and keep everybody out or try to get the bull out and let everybody else back in?
Why would anybody allow bad drivers to keep everybody else off the roads?
Why would anybody allow bad drivers to keep everybody else off the roads?
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#23
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+1 on the post on discussing routing info. Then talk about what things are like on the freeway: folks 10 ft off your bumper at 65mph
Last edited by randallr; 04-22-19 at 08:20 PM. Reason: add info
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If it doesn't bother you then I guess there's nothing wrong with it. What they're really saying though, is that you shouldn't be out there on the road, because you don't understand the danger of it. You're being foolish, dangerous, and maybe selfish. That just doesn't sit well with me.
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That's what I do, but I'm old enough to not care at all what any random person thinks. And even less that what they think might bother them. 21 may have more issues in that regard though.
Also I'd tell him to watch out for this coworker. Sounds like someone's trying to "get his number". I've ran into a few coworkers over the years at various companies that have some kind of pyschopathic tendency.
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