chipcom 

You've all had mornings like these. It was one of those mornings where just waking up hurts - like you've been rode hard and put up wet. Every bone and muscle in my body seemed to be either sore or aching. My head was full of a throbbing fog, like I had been drinking hard the night before, even though I had not. At least with a hangover you have fond memories of a good drunk. All I could do was ask my wife if she got the plate number of the truck that must have run me over and dragged me along a couple dozen miles of bad road. Speaking of bad road, WTF is that staring back at me in the mirror? My eyes are a couple of slits in a sack of potatoes...and behind those slits are a map of tiny red roads all leading to a vortex of nothingness...a deep black hole. Where's my f'ing gun, we got zombies among us!

The little wussy in me is whispering "you don't need to ride in this morning...sleep that extra half-hour, drive the truck to work, stop at the donut shop on the way". Donuts...mmm. But nooo, the jarhead in me beats down the little wussy and tells me to HTFU and get in the shower. Yeah, a shower, that's the ticket.

The shower helps...barely. I turned the water on as hot as I could and just stood there like a dead man drooping, letting the steaming water course over my body until the darned smoke detector out in the hallway started going off (Someday I'm gonna shoot that f'ing thing). OK, time to stretch this old body and see if it can remember how to function again. The POP, POP, POP of cartilage, vertebra and muscle would have caused a lesser woman to come rushing into the bathroom, thinking I had gone Postal on the cat or something. But she's seen this movie before and knows to just ignore the racket and leave me to my suffering in blissful peace and pain.

I'm still feeling like dog crap. I can't even manage to lift my leg to kick the cat into the toilet as she attempts to drink out of it. The dogs scurry away before me in fear as I pad back to the bedroom to get dressed. They sense danger...and rightfully so. It's not that I am angry at them, but they know from experience that if I trip over them...which is a good possibility on mornings like these...they risk experiencing the flight of a football after it is teed up and the whistle blows. Play ball! Wait...that's baseball - my mind is toast.

I manage to pull on my wool boxers, socks, shorts, shirt and ball cap without incident...but it takes me like three tries to tie my shoes and cinch the laces away under the keeper. Luckily I packed my clothes last night, so all I have to do is pack up my wallet, phone and keys into one pocket, then grab my yogurt and water bottle from the fridge. Getting my MP3 player going requires thought I am not equipped for this morning, but after getting thrown into the wall a few times it decides to cooperate. Good boy.

Getting on the bike is effort. I teeter a bit as I swing my leg over the top tube, but manage not to fall on my ass. The first push of the pedal seems like an Olympic weightlifting gold medal effort, I think "Gawd, why did you let me get old?" as I grunt the bike into action. But then I am off, gliding down the driveway, America's Sister Golden Hair soothing my ears, a cool breeze on my face. Yep, it's summer, I am on my bike, life is good. The cobwebs clear, the pain and stiffness disappears and as I turn off my street unto my first arterial, I am singing along and feeling good as I begin tapping out a brisk cadence.

When I get to work I give everyone a cheerful "Good morning!" which they answer with grunts, yawns and outright disdain. Pfft, all you negative nellies should have rode a bike to work, I feel great!

I've been riding my bike to either school or work for over 40 years...the waking up and getting going only gets harder with age...but the joy and invigoration that riding the bike brings never lessens.

making

Damn, now I really feel bad. I have rode for 4-5 days straight. When the alarm went off this morning I could not move, I dont know why, it was hot and windy on the way home, but no problem. To make a short story even shorter (try it sometime Chip) I drove in because I was tired. I hope I have not shamed you or our Marine Corps.

tsl

Gettin' all literary on us now, eh? Nice job of it too.

Liked the part about the cat.

Juha

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.

Good thing you didn't kick the cat. Vengeful creatures, cats.

chipcom 

Riding this weekend kicked my ass...and my back has been bothering me (moving a house full of daughter/grandkids stuff alone will do that to ya). Donuts really sounded good this morning too. You haven't shamed anyone old pal, everyone needs a rest day...but for me today wasn't it.

HardyWeinberg

Yeah it's funny how what should be moving parts don't get fully broken loose until I'm finally pedaling to the office

bagxlee

Great read. Cheers.

tjspiel

A wise local bike shop opens early and partners with a popular bakery next door.

Couches, coffee, and donuts, - triflow for the body.

colleen c

Yep, coworker just don't know the secret behind my smiley greeting face in the morning.

dynodonn 

Chip, I had a good laugh reading this, though I have yet to hit a wall quite like that. I have to limit myself to only two cups of coffee in the mornings, gotta go easy on the bike, as well as the morning motorists.

chipcom 

I did feel all literary when I got in this morning. Maybe this is a sign, maybe I'm ready to start writing again...or maybe I just need to get laid. Could go either way.

chipcom 

At most I take a slug of milk or juice before riding to work...then have some tea when I get in, maybe one cup of coffee mid-morning. The people on the road don't need a buffoon like me to be all wound up and uppity.

tjspiel

Get laid and then write about it. That way your bases are covered.

MNBikeguy

Since I just turned 54, that was awe inspiring. Your narrative speaks to my soul. It brought a tear to my eye. Then I got to the part about Sister Golden Hair and started crying uncontrollably.

jr59

LOL!!!!!

Chip, That's how I feel every morning. I wake and do a full body check to decide what hurts least.
As long as I can get out of bed, dressed , and on the bike, the day seems to get easier.

Good story!

Oh yes; Agree with tjsoiel about covering bases.

chipcom 

you just became my new hero. Ever considered running for President? I figure you wouldn't be boffing no interns...you'd pick a boffable running mate!

chipcom 

no song says "summer is here, hey and puberty too!" like Sister Golden Hair.

Surrealdeal

Care to drop a name of that bs/bakery combo, for the locals?

Seattle Forrest

Why does your cat drink out of the toilet?

My girlfriend's cat likes to drink from the shower. But you have to set it to a slow drip.

chipcom 

she doesn't - poetic license.

She does like to drink the water from Cheri's bamboo plants though.

RT

I sympathize. Thought it was just in my head, but I physically feel worse when I drive to work. Last week we had severe thunder storms (see: Women's US Open golf at The Broadmoor) which kept me off the bike one day, and I felt like crap. Went home after work and slept for nine hours.

If you weren't hung over, are you saying that your condition is strictly age-related? There is definitely something to the whole endorphin/activity/exercise thing.

tjspiel

Angry Catfish - 42nd Street and 28th Ave. Open 7 am weekdays.

Freewheel midtown/greenway is open even earlier I think.

gmt13

Right on!

chipcom 

probably not age related, just felt that way. Been a long, stressful two weeks. That there was a lot of physical work/play involved wasn't nearly as taxing as the danged kid drama.

Surrealdeal

Ah that was the one that I figured you meant. Not many places like that up in the north metro and definitely nothing like that in my commute path.

I can definitely relate to Chipcom's early morning motivational issues. My latest wake-up trick has been to set the alarm on my work phone to a few minutes after my alarm clock w/ my boss's ringtone, on high. It startles me sufficiently to momentarily cede back control of my body to my brain, long enough to get me moving.