Natural C&V Laws
07-17-17, 09:32 AM
#1
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Natural C&V Laws
I call this "Narhay's Natural Valve Stem Resting State". No matter how one puts the bike down on the ground to pump up the tires the valve stems will naturally equilibrate themselves behind the chainstay and fork.
What laws do you ascribe to your namesake?
What laws do you ascribe to your namesake?
Last edited by Narhay; 07-17-17 at 09:36 AM.
07-17-17, 10:01 AM
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Patrick's Static Stability State - In other words, whenever the bike is not moving, it will want to fall over to reach a state of stability laying on the ground. It begins to manifest at the first inkling of no wheel rotation. The first reaction is the front wheel flopping over to one side or the other followed by wheel rotation, usually in reverse of typical rotation. The frame is then happy to oblige by leaning in the direction of the front of the wheel, heading toward the stable earth. it doesn't care where you are, near or far, next to it or by the tool box or in the house.
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Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
07-17-17, 10:04 AM
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I call this @gerv's law. No matter how little you pay for your C&V find and no matter how many parts you have floating around your parts bin, you will pay substantially more than the initial cost of the bike to get those parts you just "have" to have.
07-17-17, 10:09 AM
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Non-fixie's law: the more favorite the tool, the longer it takes to find where you put it. Haven't seen my 8/10mm wrench in a loooong time.
07-17-17, 10:10 AM
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Patrick's Static Stability State - In other words, whenever the bike is not moving, it will want to fall over to reach a state of stability laying on the ground. It begins to manifest at the first inkling of no wheel rotation. The first reaction is the front wheel flopping over to one side or the other followed by wheel rotation, usually in reverse of typical rotation. The frame is then happy to oblige by leaning in the direction of the front of the wheel, heading toward the stable earth. it doesn't care where you are, near or far, next to it or by the tool box or in the house.
07-17-17, 11:32 AM
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No matter what part or how long its set unused. As soon as you sell it, You will need it and have to buy another one for more than you sold yours.
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07-17-17, 11:36 AM
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No matter what line I take down a steep, fast descent, there will be a small unnoticeable rock lying in the road right in the center of that line that is just big enough to cause a pinch flat.
07-17-17, 11:51 AM
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Patrick's Static Stability State - In other words, whenever the bike is not moving, it will want to fall over to reach a state of stability laying on the ground. It begins to manifest at the first inkling of no wheel rotation. The first reaction is the front wheel flopping over to one side or the other followed by wheel rotation, usually in reverse of typical rotation. The frame is then happy to oblige by leaning in the direction of the front of the wheel, heading toward the stable earth. it doesn't care where you are, near or far, next to it or by the tool box or in the house.
07-17-17, 11:57 AM
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I call this one Colin's law after a riding buddy of mine of the same name:
No matter how prepared you are for your ride, you will always get a flat on the one day you lent your spare tube to a riding buddy.
No matter how prepared you are for your ride, you will always get a flat on the one day you lent your spare tube to a riding buddy.
07-17-17, 01:17 PM
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Lift the front end of your bike and the handlebars will always quickly turn to the right....and slam the brake caliper upper cable stop arm against the down tube, just north of the RD shift lever, nicely gouging the paint or even putting a ding on it.......
Every steel bike has zigzag scratches on it's aluminum seatpost shaft.......
Bolts on bikes will always strip every time you are afraid you are about to do so......
The chances of you cutting brake cables with regular wire snips without fraying the end is 50%.......
Dropout adjusters will always get bent when a bike is shipped.......
Every steel bike has zigzag scratches on it's aluminum seatpost shaft.......
Bolts on bikes will always strip every time you are afraid you are about to do so......
The chances of you cutting brake cables with regular wire snips without fraying the end is 50%.......
Dropout adjusters will always get bent when a bike is shipped.......
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07-17-17, 01:25 PM
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How about if you drop a small part on your carpet it will always never been seen again, no matter how much you search. 
07-17-17, 01:29 PM
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80% of Peugeot PX10 turn out to be U08.
07-17-17, 01:32 PM
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Grease's Law: No matter how clean you think your bike is, when you are wearing nice clothes, if you get within 3 ft, or 1 meter more or less, of the bike, the grease will find your clean clothes.
07-17-17, 01:51 PM
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Young's Paradigm - Classic and Vintage Sales Threads will cause unnecessary anxiety in new members for 2.3 years. 50k rides are the only known treatment with > 79% success rate. Empty Paypal account provides little relief. Medical marijuana only increases anxiety.
Don't ask Young how he knows.
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07-17-17, 02:01 PM
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I call this @gerv's law. No matter how little you pay for your C&V find and no matter how many parts you have floating around your parts bin, you will pay substantially more than the initial cost of the bike to get those parts you just "have" to have.
07-17-17, 02:03 PM
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One wheel on the bike always gets the flats........
Things are always over-tightened on a bike......
Even the most expensive weight weenie mods will not make you go faster.....
Campy stuff is overrated.......
Cyclist love overrated stuff........
Even the best water in the world tastes horrible from a plastic waterbottle........
"Numb nuts " eventually hits every male cyclists.......
Nobody regularly services their BB's..........
One is never sure if a skewer is really tight enough........
Things are always over-tightened on a bike......
Even the most expensive weight weenie mods will not make you go faster.....
Campy stuff is overrated.......
Cyclist love overrated stuff........
Even the best water in the world tastes horrible from a plastic waterbottle........
"Numb nuts " eventually hits every male cyclists.......
Nobody regularly services their BB's..........
One is never sure if a skewer is really tight enough........
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07-17-17, 02:12 PM
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I've learned to accept this, but only for my regular clothes. I still can't help but get a little ticked off when the grease shows up on one of my favorite cycling jerseys.
07-17-17, 02:33 PM
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DG's Law:
When you inspect a headset with perfect bearings, 2 or 3 always escape - never to be located. When you inspect a headset with crappy bearings, all of them stay in place.
When you inspect a headset with perfect bearings, 2 or 3 always escape - never to be located. When you inspect a headset with crappy bearings, all of them stay in place.
07-17-17, 02:58 PM
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Dave's corollary to Colin's law is that this is the same day that you left your pump sitting on the workbench at home and your two riding partners didn't bring pumps because Dave always reliably brings his (and to top it off, the first two bike riders that happen by and can be flagged down don't have pumps either). This exact scenario happened to me three weeks ago.
07-17-17, 02:59 PM
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07-17-17, 03:07 PM
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The best stuff to clean up bike parts will always be the worst stuff you can put on your hands......and in your lungs too.....
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07-17-17, 06:06 PM
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The significant other will always ask at least once a year "do you need all those bikes" and will never find humor in the response "Do you need all those shoes and handbags"
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Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
Life is too short not to ride the best bike you have, as much as you can
(looking for Torpado Super light frame/fork or for Raleigh International frame fork 58cm)
07-17-17, 07:11 PM
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The right wrench for the job can only be determined by first pulling all the wrong ones from the tool box.
Metric allen wrenches will be the closest ones at hand when standard ones are needed, and visa versa.
There is only a 1 in 3,428 chance that the hole in a rubber rim strip will align with the stem hole in a rim.
White bar tape attracts grease at a rate 30 times greater than black bar tape.
The likelyhood that your spare tube will actually hold air is indirectly proportional to the broken glass content of the path you are traversing.
It is mathematically impossible to match a red saddle, red cable housing, and red bar tape.
Bicycle tires are the only items in the world were 1.75 does not equal 1 3/4.
Metric allen wrenches will be the closest ones at hand when standard ones are needed, and visa versa.
There is only a 1 in 3,428 chance that the hole in a rubber rim strip will align with the stem hole in a rim.
White bar tape attracts grease at a rate 30 times greater than black bar tape.
The likelyhood that your spare tube will actually hold air is indirectly proportional to the broken glass content of the path you are traversing.
It is mathematically impossible to match a red saddle, red cable housing, and red bar tape.
Bicycle tires are the only items in the world were 1.75 does not equal 1 3/4.