jiangshi

Have you checked the last comments in your Paceline thread? Some good suggestions from very knowledgeable people.

shoota 

Please don't start drinking, it's such a slippery slope.

515Cycling

@jamesdak,
I agree with all the good advice above, especially about just getting out and riding. The one thing that I would add is to give yourself a break. By that I mean, don't be so hard on yourself. If you can joke about not being able to find the friggin tool you were just holding, do so. Or as others have said, laugh about going into a room and not being able to remember why you were going there. We all have those things at some point. I hope you feel better soon. Thanks for your military service. There is still a lot of good in our country, I just wish we heard more about it.

squirtdad

Thanks for posting, hope day/s improved. Things change, life changes, entropy rules, and it is tough to deal with.

Like most other posters, this stuff is hitting me, with no head injuries, arthritis in hands is starting up, "where did I put that" is increasing, and forget the glasses/contact/cheater glasses round around, but all in all i am very fortunate.

As you noted it may help to simplify to your most favorite bikes by role resulting in more ride and less mechanic or reduce and treat you self to something like a custom, prebuilt that you take out of the box and ride

I find my self getting someone else to do things around the house, like plumbing, that I used to do, but are and were a pain, so that I can do other fun things.

also just recognizing frustrating situations and stepping away is huge....takes a lot to learn how to do that.

Hope you have a good ride today

cudak888 

+1. There are a number of symptoms here to be worried about if not checked out ASAP. Similar to prolonged effects following a concussion.

Please do so @jamesdak - for your own health. Not saying that it is, but these sort of post-concussion symptoms can turn into a non-reversible form of dementia or CTE. You don't want it to go anywhere near there; that's the point of no return.

-Kurt

Road Fan

I second all this. I would add, sometimes, it's ok just to take a 30 minute walk. Wear a jacket, decent shoes, bring some light gloves, and a baseball cap actually adds some warmth to your noggin, and it keeps the sun out of your eyes!

I also agree with seeing a doc about possible head issues.

Give the Daytona a rest. Make a mental note to go back through the system, checking it all out carefully, when you're rested and calm and have a clear head. There's nothing wrong with just taking the bike apart and putting it all back together again, just to relax and to again teach your hands what they need to know how to do. I have had a few bike repairs like that. One of Mrs. Road Fan's bikes has to remain on hooks in the garage so I can be sure it will work for her if her good one hoses up - knock on wood, no problems in two years, but ... when it had problems it saved my life to have that backup bike for her. Maybe tune up a friction bike first - test your chops more gently.

Simplifying temporarily can be a good thing. Mrs. Road Fan has for at least 60 years had a sewing needle or machine in her hands when she did not have her fingers on piano keys, a clarinet, a guitar, a conductor's baton, a chef's knife, or a bicycle handlebar. Normally she has all these domains and projects running through her head at once. Though she has been awarded honors for some of her quilts and her music, sometimes she takes on sewing projects that challenge and frustrate her until she steps back, makes an easy repair to some other old quilt top or whatever, and then thinks freshly about her problem. Thus she meanders back to being able to address the hard part again.

I think the great mathematician Polya said (I usually get this wrong, but it's a great thought) "to solve a very hard problem, try solving some simpler ones which are related to it, first." This has actually helped me in my engineering work, over the years.

More and more I am glad for those who contributed what I did not, in military or other public services.

panzerwagon 

Many are experiencing similar these days, the cruel march of time notwithstanding. Some days might be better than others, but the advice above is sound. I myself have had to step back, recharge, find a way to laugh at the absurdity of it all, and enjoy the happy moments as they appear.

Regarding cognitive conflicts, for me the doorway effect is real and makes a frequent appearance: https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...es-you-forget/ (a more scientific treatment found here). I find too much clutter, whether physical or mental, drives this effect in ways beyond doorways. Desks, workspaces... even the mere glance at a different bicycle/project/whatever, can cast us adrift. Sometimes our brains just need a bit more time to reconnect and re-contextualize.

In any case, we're with you man, and we'll stumble there together, wherever 'there' is.

Bad Lag

If it pisses you off, put it down and walk away.

Do NOT sell it just because you are pissed. You will regret it. There are legitimate reasons to sell but being pissed off is NOT one of them.

Get one good rider and go for rides. It will help clear your mind, yes, in a very zen-like way. Ride every day until you are no longer pissed off.

Riding is LIFE!

jamesdak 

Oops, looks like my rant stirred things up. I do appreciate the comments, I just stepped away for awhile because I've been busy.

The purge is in full motion because it needs to happen. I am losing cognitive ability and it is affecting my temperament. Been seeing a specialist for years now so I've known it's coming. Just going to get worse without major advances in medicine.

Part of collecting, restoring, and just fudging with all the bikes was to help me maintain focus. Just not helping now so time to accept and slow down on things.

Just got back from passing on the Kona Jake the Snake. I've also sold the Lecoulant and ....and.....ugh.memory...oh the Antares this week. Never really thought I'd let that Giordana go. The Lemond Chambery went recently as well as the Giordana Scorpius frame and the Polaris (same Dr. bought both). The Miyata 914SE went a couple of weeks ago too. I sold that beautiful Concorde without putting a single mile on it. The old Orbea Cabestany was let go at the beginning of the "purge" along with the one Y-Foil. The beat-up Y-66 not the NOS Y-77. The Lemond Ventoux went to another local and the Stella was donated to the collective about two weeks ago. Quite a purge and yet I still have 26 built bikes here as well as that Olmo SanRemo to get built. I'm not even going to attempt building that one. I've got about 5 others listed locally right not but it's getting hard as there's not much I want to let go now. I think once a few more go I'll stop and hold off. Or.......I've always wanted to get a custom bike done by David Kirk. I could move a couple of the more expensive ones on and buy on from him.....hmmmm.......

This morning I listed that Serotta Nova Special I grabbed last year. I like the CSI better and may be able to get some decent money out of this one. Thinking about the De Rosa too. It's always been such a small frame for me. But I'll lose a lot on it as it's buitl with new Chorus 11 speed and new Fulcrum racing 3 wheels but the paint not that great. Just not worth near what I put into it. Plus it rides so well, plus.....hmmm....IDK?!

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Not my normal self but oh well, life goes on.

Gonna sort a few things out and get ready for what should be a great long weekend of riding. Gonna finally be back in the 60's for several days, perfect!

noobinsf 

Well, it's heartening to know that you're getting the help you need. Best of health to you, and if you ever need a buyer for that Olmo San Remo...

jamesdak 

To be honest that is my case and I already know it. This has been coming on since those brats wrecked me out in 2012. That seemed to be the final stroke after all the concussions I had during my life. My teenage years I trained horses and got knocked out a few times. This being the crazy invincible country boy I was we used to travel all over the area taking on other guys in tackle football games with no protection, stupid. Add in 20+ years in the military getting my bell rung many a time and I'm where I am now. I do see specialist for this and know where I'm heading.

So, people, wear your helmets, take care of your brain, and if you do get a concussion, get it treated right away and do rest up and heal up from it. The day after being knocked out in 2012 I did a 117 mile bike ride with several hard climbs because I was telling myself I was ok. A year of light sensitivity, memory loss, migraines, and even some amnesia issues. Don't be stupid like me.

masi61

@jamesdak thanks for reminding us of the importance of preventing head injuries. I need to get a better helmet, one with the MIPS system like the Smith branded one that several riders in my bike club (who both happen to be physicians BTW) ride. I hit my head and face on the pavement numerous times over the last few years. I used to crash about once every 5 years, now I seem to have about one bad crash about every 2 years.

One of the strongest “A” riders in our club had a bad concussion a few years ago from some type of crash he had. He came back to riding as thin, long and powerful as ever but clearly now with some cognitive impairment. He is as impatient as he is fast and on one of our club’s Labor Day century rides he rode off the front from the group and instead of staying on the route to the east he went like 35 miles off course south east to the nearest bigger town in that direction before he understood where he went wrong. I was finishing the century in the mid afternoon at just over 100 miles when he shows up out of nowhere, alone now agitated and always fast (hyper) he announced that he was at like 150 miles on the day with an average speed over 22 mph.

Let us know if the shifting issue with the Campy shifters unveils a solution to you as you sleep on it for a while. I’m a big believer at my age (about to be 59 in May) in using quality sleep to hit the “reset button” on myself. With each new day there is a fresh opportunity to resolve some of these unresolved dilemmas....

Slightly off topic, but sort of in the vein of what Road Fan was talking about with the Mrs and her sewing projects.... I am re-discovering vinyl records and listen to one or two albums in the evenings once or twice a week. The visualization of the music is very therapeutic and helps me prioritize all the vibrant activities I am in a haste to move forward. I just ordered an album I heard about from an artist named Pole whose album Fading is about his 91 year old mother’s progressive dementia.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Pole-Fading....m46890.l49286

If you click on the description, the producer, Stefan Betke explains how the idea for his album was spawned my his “mum’s memory loss”. It sounded interesting so I ordered the album.

Now if I could just find those high quality Cane Creek blue anodized interlocking headset spacers that I had sourced to help me set up my integrated bar/stem combo on my Columbus carbon disc fork so I can cut the steer tube thus paving the way to then run my internally routed mechanical cabling and hydraulic hose for my Wittson Illuminati titanium disc bike that acts like it will never be built up...

squirtdad

That would be my vote not that I have any say Do the option where the bike is delivered built.... take it out of the box and ride you could even get it painted like that Martelly (which you should post just for that green paint job )

jamesdak 

It was always my plan to get one when I retire. But... I may move that up a few years.

And the good thing is I could actually drive up to David's workshop to workout my fit and the build and then go back up to get it. He's easily just a day trip away from me.

I do have a Pashley Guv,nor pre-ordered that should arrive in another month or so. My first new built bike in like forever. May even take that to LBS to let them do it. Gonna be my new cruiser bike for years and years I hope.

jamesdak 

Just waiting for the temps to hit 60 and then I'm finally getting the Team Z "LeMonster" bike out for it's maiden voyage. The more I've gone over this the more I'm sure it's a repaint and all but still so worth it. Hopefully it rides as well as the Maillot Jaune. It probably will be my one mainly wall-hanger bike but I do need to feel it under me on the road sometimes.

And yes, that is Abba soothing the soul, LOL! Showing my age.

Manny66 

Life is like Cyciling,, full of Peaks and Valleys and some Peaks are a little tougher to get over. But those downhills are pretty awesome.

Get out and ride, the funk will eventually subside.

jdawginsc 

ABBA makes almost anything just a little bit better. You seem in a much better place! Very happy to hear.

John E

Thank you for starting the thread, James, and thank you everyone for uniting as a community. As I mentioned earlier to you, we spent our most recent family reunion in August 2019 in your 'hood, and just missed the bike race that was coming through a couple of days later. I have long admired your bike collection.

gaucho777 

@jamesdak Sorry to hear about the health/noggin issues. Definitely take care of yourself, rest whenever you need it.

I've had more than my share of concussions, and have to cope with periodic migraines, dizziness, and forgetfulness First of about a half dozen concussions happened was when I was around 14 and sideswiped by a van. Most recently, a couple years ago, I passed out in the bathroom. Must of hit my head on the sink or the floor, or both. My wife found me crumpled up under the sink and said I was out cold for at least a couple minutes. Not the first time that's happened to me. Doc said it could be a vasovagal reaction, so now I sit down to pee at night.

Anyway, I get that mood swings are inevitable, and there's a lot to be frustrated about. At the same time, I know there remains a lot of positives--in your life, I'm sure, and also with our troubled country. Your service was not a waste. Yes, there will be bad days. But also take joy in the good days, and good moments, 'cause there will be those, too.

jamesdak 

This picture shows my "secret weapon" for dialing in my fit on all these bikes I own as well as properly sizing any bikes I'm looking to buy. That old yardstick has every measurement I need marked on it. Center of saddle setback from the BB, Saddle height from the BB, Handlebar reach from the center of saddle, Saddle to bar drop (optimum, not too picky about this) and bar width. This yardstick and a plumb line are all I need to get each bike setup for the fit that works for me.

jamesdak 

The sell off continued today with another one I didn't think I'd let go. The De Rosa Nuovo Classico I built up with a new Chorus 11 speed setup. Only had 771 miles logged on that one. It was always my second smallest frame and that's how I decided to put it up too. Younger took it this evening and seemed really happy with it. He didn't even dicker on the price but I still gave him a hundred back after seeing how happy he was with it.

Counting up in the bike cave now I still need to consider moving on two more. I need a spot for the Guv'nor and then I still have that Olmo SanRemo to get built. I really can't decide in my mind what to let go now though.

I just counted up, 20 gone since the fall. Most of them here in the past couple of months.

The Golden Boy 

Well, to show my age, I thought it was Carol from the Gong Show. And you know what she did before that...

jonwvara 

Carpenter call that a "story pole"--a 2x4 marked with the various header heights, window-sill heights, etc., for a given framing job. Easier and more accurate than using a tape.

toyotus

I like your taste in music and bikes!

rustystrings61 

Reading this thread, I wish I could sit down and drink coffee and talk with all of y'all on a regular basis. Thank you, jamesdak, for putting something real on the table, and thank you everyone else for the way you answered.

When I was in junior high school Abba filled the radio dial in my part of the world. One of my clearest memories of those years was dancing with Debbie Thomason at a high school dance to "Dancing Queen." Then I got too hip for Abba and went on a long trawl through rock to rockabilly to blues to really old blues to British folk baroque to fill-in-the-blank. Then one day I started appreciating Abba for their stunning production and perfect pop joy. Today I like Abba because I like Abba.