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Wife is mad I cycle while she's at work

Old 08-09-19, 07:41 PM
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Biere Froide
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Wife is mad I cycle while she's at work

My wife and i usually cycle together on the weekends. I recently retired and cycle during the week while she's at work. I still cycle with her on the weekend anytime she wants.
She's mad i go during the week without her and told me i should find something else to occupy my time and go only when she's off. I find this a very selfish request for someone who is not a selfish person. I told her i was not going to honor her request and she is pissed about it, i love my wife but i have to do whats right for me. How would anyone elase handle this situation.
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Old 08-09-19, 07:50 PM
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Old 08-09-19, 07:55 PM
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believe me, i'm dumbfounded
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Old 08-09-19, 07:56 PM
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Ride to her work together. Come by later and ride home with her.
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Old 08-09-19, 07:57 PM
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Seems like a troll thread to me. If Iím wrong, seek a marriage counselor. This is not a good place to get relationship advice.
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Old 08-09-19, 07:57 PM
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Lie to her.... problem solved.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:12 PM
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I was going to suggest telling random strangers about your marital problems, but I see you already have that covered.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:21 PM
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I wonder what your wife's reason is, for not wanting you to cycle without her. Is she concerned about your health or safety (i.e. worried about something that might occur without her there)?

It's true that it is different for cyclists who cycle alone, compared to those who are cycling with someone else, especially ones with a health issue or who deal with harassment, alone. Those with someone else have someone else around who can call for help, if the cyclist is unable to do so, themselves (due to an accident or something that happened to them).

Last edited by anon06; 08-09-19 at 08:26 PM.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Biere Froide View Post
My wife and i usually cycle together on the weekends. I recently retired and cycle during the week while she's at work. I still cycle with her on the weekend anytime she wants.
She's mad i go during the week without her and told me i should find something else to occupy my time and go only when she's off. I find this a very selfish request for someone who is not a selfish person. I told her i was not going to honor her request and she is pissed about it, i love my wife but i have to do whats right for me. How would anyone elase handle this situation.
If you don't already do things like laundry, cleaning, etc. pick a day of the week for it, and see what happens.
Then ride only most of the days. Don't complain just do it one day and see what happens. Don't even tell her beforehand.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:26 PM
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Lol this place gives wildly ill informed, wrong, and straight up dangerous misinformation about actual bike questions.

So yeah it's a perfect place for relationship advice!
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Old 08-09-19, 08:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Biere Froide View Post
believe me, i'm dumbfounded
There is more to this that meets the eye.

How far is she from her own retirement.

Talk to her about it, not to us here at BF.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted by ksryder View Post
Lol this place gives wildly ill informed, wrong, and straight up dangerous misinformation about actual bike questions.

So yeah it's a perfect place for relationship advice!
The OP probably just wants to vent. No harm in that.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Biere Froide View Post
She's mad i go during the week without her and told me i should find something else to occupy my time and go only when she's off.
You could ask her whether a visiting a brothel would be preferable.
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Old 08-09-19, 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by eja_ bottecchia View Post
The OP probably just wants to vent. No harm in that.
yeah I know, just thought it was worth pointing out that asking for relationship advice here is like asking for sobriety advice at the bar.
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Old 08-09-19, 09:20 PM
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Tell her she bikes too slow & you're just maintaining [trying] your preferred cadence average by offsetting it with the week day solos.


It is rather odd that she's trying to be that controlling of your time.
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Old 08-09-19, 09:48 PM
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It’s not the cycling she’s bothered about. It’s the fact that you’re retired and she’s not. I strongly recommend you start increasing your share of the household duties. Yes, you’re retired, but nobody wants to put in a full day and come home to start a second job of housework. You don’t need to carry all of the responsibilities, but taking some of the burden off of her would go a long way toward easing her load.

If she’s spent her day working only to come home and hear how you’ve been goofing off all day while she starts in with the chores, she’s gonna be resentful. If she comes home and a bunch of stuff has been handled, and oh, by the way, I went for a ride too, well, she’ll probably be pretty comfortable with the situation. If the chores were done by the time she got home, the two of you could go for a short ride together.

Marriage is a team sport. Nobody’s retired until you’re both retired. When one person in the marriage retires, the only thing that changes are the job descriptions.


-Kedosto
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Old 08-09-19, 09:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Kedosto View Post
Itís not the cycling sheís bothered about. Itís the fact that youíre retired and sheís not.
There are lots of factors that could come into play.

Age, age differences, military service, occupation, retirement plan, delayed start to working, etc.

In the case of my mother, she didn't start working until both myself and my brother were well into school.

My father qualified for full retirement a couple of years earlier than her.

I think he worked an extra year, and my mother chose to retire early. They had enough savings and retirement benefits that they could afford her taking early retirement. & it worked out better that way.

An option would be to start a home business.
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Old 08-09-19, 10:06 PM
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Originally Posted by ksryder View Post
lol this place gives wildly ill informed, wrong, and straight up dangerous misinformation about actual bike questions.

So yeah it's a perfect place for relationship advice!
what...
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Where I go time to time

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Old 08-09-19, 11:56 PM
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Originally Posted by CliffordK View Post
You could ask her whether a visiting a brothel would be preferable.
How about visiting a brothel in Amsterdam...while riding a Dutch bike?
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Old 08-10-19, 12:10 AM
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Originally Posted by frogmorton View Post
Seems like a troll thread to me. If Iím wrong, seek a marriage counselor. This is not a good place to get relationship advice.
This and this
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Old 08-10-19, 12:22 AM
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Originally Posted by GlennR View Post
Lie to her.... problem solved.
Never lie to your wife unless you KNOW that you don't have one of the psychic ones. I have one of the psychic ones ....
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Old 08-10-19, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by GlennR View Post
Lie to her.... problem solved.
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Old 08-10-19, 03:09 AM
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Take up skateboarding.
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Old 08-10-19, 04:12 AM
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This isn't a good place for a relationship advice....Go talk to a marriage counselor who specializes in dealing with relationship problems.
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Old 08-10-19, 04:48 AM
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Huh, ,and I was feeling bad bc my wife likes to hold the door for me while I get my bike outa the house...I'll count my blessings!
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