Pakiwi

I normally ride alone except for a group ride with the local D group riders from our local Lbs.
There is a group of us that have Strava accounts and we say when we are going for a ride. Anyway I decided to announce it and I got one guy who was interested in riding with me.
I did a 20 mile loop. We stopped at a top of a hill so he could have a water break and I slowed down my pace by about 2 mph. It turned out to be a zone two ride.
We get in to the end and he says to me, your a pretty strong rider considering all the weight your carrying.
What he doesn't know is the work I have put in, nor seen how far I have come. I believe I am a strong rider despite the weight I carry.
I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. Now I know why I like to ride alone.
Allan

Beachgrad05

I guess I'm not understanding what he said that was do bad

Pakiwi

It was like he was surprised that I could even cycle with the weight I was carrying. Why does he think we should all be 125 lbs and that we can be decent riders despite our extra weight.
Allan

headloss 

The first half of his statement was a complement... the second half a careless use of the English language. It happens. I've said dumber things with good intentions.

Beachgrad05

It seemed to me from what you posted he was saying what you said you believed. That you are strong despite weight. My guess is it was to be a complement not derision. Not everyone is gifted in language and can say things awkwardly.

baron von trail 

I get that a lot. Don't let it bug you though because truth is we are strong riders that are carrying way too much weight. Funny thing is I've been blown away by heavier guys, just like I've dropped lighter ones. But, undoubtedly, the fastest guys are all sub-Clyde.

GravelMN

The comment was probably well intended. There are a lot of assumptions made about people who are overweight, one of the most pervasive is that overweight = out of shape. Extra fat is not helpful to athletic performance but there are a lot of heavy people who are in otherwise excellent shape, possibly having more strength, endurance, speed and cardiovascular fitness than some of their leaner contemporaries. Laugh it off. It's actually kind of fun to see the looks on people's faces when they suddenly realize how much they have underestimated you.

bigfred 

So, it really comes down to the difference between "considering all" and "despite", in your head. I really suspect he meant it as a compliment. Mrs. Fred was somewhat shocked when she first started meeting some of my cycling buddies and they would openly comment on "how strong Fred is for such a big guy". They're not commenting on actual physical strength, nor bashing on my physical size, but, were in fact expressing admiration for the fact that I obviously did quite a bit of riding and pushing of myself in order to participate in cycling, which is decidedly preferential towards those who are skinny, at the level that I do.

He didn't need to see where you've come from to recognize the work you've put in. That comment was his way of stating as much. Go ride with him, or them, some more.

Granturismonut

Couldnt have said it any better.

Pakiwi

Thanks for the comments. . Maybe I will get that more as I ride with other people. I will be working out on the trainer over the winter and hope to start the year off at a lighter weight and even stronger.
Already setting my goals for next year which includes a few centuries, Nighthood for Sufferlandria, Tour of sufferlandria, 200k and 400k brevet.
Appreciate you all who are going through this or have been there..
Allan

Null66

Ok,
Consider you stopped for him...

That was a compliment.
The more mass the harder it is to get up hills, simple value neutral physics.

The negative is what you brought to the table. And even if not, you (the bigger) stopped for him...
SO even if he did mean it negatively, well it was more about him not you...

WonderMonkey

He was complimenting you. Take it as such. A great response would have been "Thanks, it hasn't always been that way. When I started I ...." and suddenly it is a nice conversation.

Many times those of us on a long weight and health journey are a bit sensitive. And of course we run into people who are just jerks. This guy sounded like he was handing you a compliment so allow it to come through as such.

And.... be proud of how far you have come. Use your successes, failures and more successes inspire those around you to do the same.

WonderMonkey

Agreed! I usually respond in a positive way. Even if he meant it as negative the most irritating thing you can do is pretend it was a compliment. If he then says "Hey I didn't mean it as a compliment!" you can then say "Yeah well your bike is ugly" and then chuckle.

Be confident! Ride!

FLEXjs

Consider it a compliment.

Yesterday I was stopped at a light and a complete stranger walking by said "Hey dude, you're gonna need a bigger bike soon." I just smiled as I knew he meant it as a compliment because I was wearing a tank top so it was obvious that I lift.

Pakiwi

Yes I will definitely ride with him again.
Will ride with the Wednesday Pint group. They cycle to a brewery and the first pint is on the LBS owner.
I'm not a big drinker but want to meet some of the riders before the weather turns bad and we all go inside.
Allan

bbbean 

I spent most of my life overweight. If I'd taken offense every time someone said something about my weight, I'd have had a lot less pleasant social life up to this point.

LGHT

I think I would have replied with, it's amazing your not a lot faster considering your so scrawny

Nikon shooter

I WISH somebody would say I was a strong rider...anything that came after that, I probably wouldn't hear.

Pakiwi

Haha. Thanks for the feedback. I will ride with him again. No problem. I have had two other guys ask if I can take them out. One guy is bigger than me and he hasn't biked since being a kid. The other is my wife's brother and I think I'm going to introduce him to a few hills. I will have pleasure in showing that I can ride.
Honestly I am looking forward to riding next year as I will be riding the trainer over winter and focus on my eating.
I think the intervals and hills have put me off to a good start. I just need my body to catch up.
Allan

contango 

I agree it's probably meant as a compliment even if he did mangle it.

One advantage of being fat is that if you do attack hills you get to build up some impressive leg muscles because it takes more power to haul a heavy body up a hill than it does a light body. Every once in a while I get a bit of an ego stroke when I overtake some skinny cyclist on a sleek carbon machine up a hill when I'm still over 200lb and riding my mountain bike. One day I was all set to pass someone on a hill but figured that since he was on a carbon bike and I was on a Fred bike with panniers I wouldn't.

Yes, I know not everybody is racing but that doesn't mean I can't feel good if I overtake someone half my size going uphill

jaxgtr

Take it as a compliment. Think about it this way....there are a lot of large people on this plant that the most exercise they get is getting off the couch to get something else to eat. Raises hand as I used to be one. However, over the last several years I have worked my butt off literally, going from 375 to 200. I keep floating with clyde emeritus , but I am extremely happy with my 200 lbs that I carry now compared to where I was. I been given the same "compliment" here and there....and I think ...yep and I kicked your skinny but to the top.

CourtJester

Did you tell him what you thought?

Doohickie

rangerbill

I have worked so hard trying to keep my weight off, that although I look like a Tub on the outside, I am actually in very good physical condition. I do surprise people myself. Last week a man at the gym said the same thing almost word for word as the person said to you. I am realistic about myself, I look like i couldn't get my rear up off the couch to chase a Twinkie. I had just ran a hard set on the treadmill. It impressed him and me too. I was proud of the comment.

I would take it as a compliment.

Edited to add: Had the same reaction at the doctors office when the doctor looked at my lab report. I love it, LOL.

bigdo13

It really was probably just something that he meant to mean in a positive light....

was it condescending and prickish? Yup... Did he realize that? Nope....

just let it roll off ya back.... why worry about it? The more you let it grind you the worse you're gonna feel... if it's a dumb comment, which it was, then either next time let him know you don't like it...or not. In any case runnin' to the Internet to complain won't do anything... maybe a lil' venting, but overall just forget about it. Trust me. Not worth the time mulling it over...