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The art of dating.

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The art of dating.

Old 01-31-15, 07:59 AM
  #26  
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Studded tires. When your partner is afraid to drive on ice and meet somewhere, you can go directly to the front door, and bring a load of groceries. Letting your date starve to death would have a negative effect on the relationship.
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Old 01-31-15, 09:06 AM
  #27  
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I think OP should get their drivers license. Even if OP chooses not to own a car for now, at least get your drivers license.
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Old 01-31-15, 12:30 PM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by wolfchild View Post
I think OP should get their drivers license. Even if OP chooses not to own a car for now, at least get your drivers license.
I let mine expire a couple of years ago because I never used it. Couldn't be happier. No desire to have one.
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Old 01-31-15, 02:14 PM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by AbsurdChalk View Post
I wanted to hear some cool stories or maybe responses people got when they asked someone out.
I don't think you want to hear the responses I've gotten. All of them started with an "N."
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Old 01-31-15, 02:50 PM
  #30  
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When you're car free you are at a disadvantage. There are good suggestions on this thread for reducing the impact of that on your chances. For many people, you're not the first choice. You're not going to wisk them away to a motel at the beach a couple hundred miles away. Sure, there are people you will appeal to in spite of or even because of being car free. But they're probably less common, with variance from one area to another.

Your best chances come from getting to know somebody in a social setting and then have it turn romantic. Then you're not just a post on a dating site being compared in statistical terms with all the others.
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Old 01-31-15, 03:03 PM
  #31  
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Similar situation when I was young, I bought a car and let my girlfriend drive me everywhere.
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Old 01-31-15, 03:08 PM
  #32  
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
Note that the issue for the OP was not having access to ANY kind of car. There can be a world of difference in dating utility between having an available car (even if it does not signal "wealth") and no car at all. Dependence on taking the bus to get around on dating, if even available, is not just a symbol of wealth issue.
Which was why I recommended treating the other person to dinner, movie, gas or whatever to create more parity.
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Old 01-31-15, 04:13 PM
  #33  
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How is going out with someone because s/he has a shiny new car different from paying a visit to a disorderly house? I fail to see the difference. In the words of Cole Porter, both are cases of "love for sale."
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Old 02-01-15, 06:21 AM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by Ekdog View Post
How is going out with someone because s/he has a shiny new car different from paying a visit to a disorderly house? I fail to see the difference. In the words of Cole Porter, both are cases of "love for sale."
Or sex for sale. Nothing wrong with that as long as both parties get what they want.
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Old 02-01-15, 06:40 AM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by Walter S View Post
Or sex for sale. Nothing wrong with that as long as both parties get what they want.
or he could go to a cuddle cafe, for 45-90 dollars/hour.
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Old 02-01-15, 06:50 AM
  #36  
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Originally Posted by Lone View Post
or he could go to a cuddle cafe, for 45-90 dollars/hour.
And a trip to Japan?
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Old 02-01-15, 06:55 AM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by Walter S View Post
And a trip to Japan?
they just opened some up in NYC and the northwest, i think in canada, too.
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Old 02-01-15, 07:02 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by Lone View Post
they just opened some up in NYC and the northwest, i think in canada, too.
From what I read it looks like an opportunity to come just to the brink of release, and then not get there. But maybe the "no sex" rule is not so firmly enforced.
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Old 02-01-15, 02:24 PM
  #39  
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Originally Posted by AbsurdChalk View Post
I am 21 and dont have a drivers license. What are the strategies that car free people use when trying to ask someone out? Is there any stories that yall can share?
It's not about whether you have a car or not. It is about being able to whisper the words that will make a girl's heart go pitter-patter. The words I used to hook my wife were "I have health insurance - and I can get you family coverage".

It was a magical moment, let me tell you!!
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Old 02-01-15, 02:46 PM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by loky1179 View Post
It's not about whether you have a car or not. It is about being able to whisper the words that will make a girl's heart go pitter-patter. The words I used to hook my wife were "I have health insurance - and I can get you family coverage".

It was a magical moment, let me tell you!!
I think that and comments like "I max out my 401k" work better on women in their 30s.
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Old 02-01-15, 04:30 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by Walter S View Post
I think that and comments like "I max out my 401k" work better on women in their 30s.
And 40s >
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Old 02-01-15, 04:55 PM
  #42  
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Girls dig guys who ride bikes.
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Old 02-01-15, 06:22 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by Walter S View Post
I think that and comments like "I max out my 401k" work better on women in their 30s.
Not all women in their 30s and 40s are that shallow.
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Old 02-01-15, 10:49 PM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by AbsurdChalk View Post
I wanted to hear some cool stories or maybe responses people got when they asked someone out.
I met my future wife when we were college students in the easily car-free college town of Ann Arbor, MI, well before I discovered as an adult the cycling lifestyle a couple years after we met. She soon followed suit, and we both bought similar high end bikes (Merciers, at that time). We began touring for occasional weekend to week-long tours, and our cycling honeymoon was a cross-country tour.

Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
... In Ann Arbor MI in the 70s I really realized the utility of bicycles for commuting, and began touring on a five-speed Schwinn Suburban, but soon bought a Mercier as did my girlfriend, later my wife. We toured in Michigan and Ontario.

In 1977 we moved to Boston on our bikes, as a bicycling honeymoon from Los Angeles to Washington, DC...
We continued to tour until children came along, and now our mutual togetherness activity is ballroom dancing.

BTW, I just today posted this comment about dating, which I think transcends having a car, to impress women:

Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
...IMO the most classic and sure-fire pick up line is Pardon me, Miss, but would you like to dance?
PS: I just came across this thread on Living Car-Free while looking for something else. How do you live car free and maintain a dating life?

Last edited by Jim from Boston; 02-01-15 at 11:05 PM. Reason: Added PS
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Old 02-02-15, 10:48 AM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
BTW, I just today posted this comment about dating, which I think transcends having a car, to impress women:

Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
...IMO the most classic and sure-fire pick up line is Pardon me, Miss, but would you like to dance?
I just recalled this advertisement for a better way:

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Old 02-02-15, 01:11 PM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by Walter S View Post
I think that and comments like "I max out my 401k" work better on women in their 30s.

Originally Posted by loky1179 View Post
And 40s >
As a woman in my 30's, I find that implication offensive.

Back to the original question though, if you're happily able to be self-sufficient without a car, do you really want to waste your time dating people who can't respect your perfectly reasonable lifestyle choices and priorities?
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Old 02-02-15, 01:50 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by Ekdog View Post
Not all women in their 30s and 40s are that shallow.
Mi didn't give my post the grin it needed. Just having fun.
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Old 02-02-15, 02:34 PM
  #48  
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Originally Posted by Coluber42 View Post
As a woman in my 30's, I find that implication offensive.
i would be happy to meet a girl like you. that just proves NAWALT, not all women are like that.
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Old 02-02-15, 04:54 PM
  #49  
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I met my wife car free, she would drive over to my place, or I would bike over to hers, or we'd meet somewhere. It's not a big deal. Just don't be cagey about not having a car. I was upfront about it. As long as your confident about your ability to go places on your bike, and you don't seem like you're just using your date for a car, it shouldn't be an issue. I live in/around Rochester, NY. So small to mid sized city, if that helps. Before we moved in together, she lived about 6 miles away.
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Old 02-03-15, 11:58 PM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by AbsurdChalk View Post
I am 21 and dont have a drivers license. What are the strategies that car free people use when trying to ask someone out? Is there any stories that yall can share?
You don't need a car to get a driver's license. I have been car free since 1989 and still have liability insurance and an operator's license with a motorcycle endorsement. If I want to get far out of town in a hurry, I can rent a car. My VISA covers damage to a rental car up to complete loss. So I don't have to purchase any overpriced insurance from rental car companies. Sometimes I can get $19 a day.

OK...what's the point in telling you this? When attempting to date it really narrows the field of quality prospects if you look like a loser. There is a huge difference in perception between "I choose to not waste my money on cars" and "I can't drive". There is your first hurdle.

Next...by not owning cars and generally living a simple lifestyle well below my means I can save money. I have dated many professional women in my lifetime (got married for the first time at 53 years of age) as a car-free male in a place where only DUIs don't have driver's licenses or cars. I am pretty much a freak here. So how do I land these professional women? Easy. Even though they make tons of money, they blow most of it - house, car(s), clothes, makeup, hair, nails, gym memberships, probably some forced retirement investments (401K, mutual funds) etc. So I find one of these gals who loves to travel like I do and can get time to do so. She has time + I have disposable money. See where this is going? And I am a nice guy, not too hard to look at, trim (thanks to NOT owning a car), and I am not an addict, drunk, divorcee, no baggage, no kids, no smoking, and I don't need more than one woman at a time. No cheating.

It's easy! We use her car, I pay for EVERYTHING ELSE. Fuel, motels, food, whatever. Women generally prefer not driving on road trips. No Problemo. I have a license and my own liability insurance (which, by the way, is dirt cheap when you don't actually own a car).

After a long life of doing ^^this, I met a woman who was worth marrying - fun, fit, happy, and NOT CRAZY. I am now in the "Living Happily Ever After" phase. All because I ride a bike instead of p!$$!ng money away on cars AND I don't make myself look like a DUI case. I sell it (being car free) a whole other way.
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