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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 01-08-20, 04:16 PM
  #13251  
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Has a big green uber hanging out of his left nostril.
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Old 01-08-20, 05:59 PM
  #13252  
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...in his part time second job as an Uber driver, he likes to portray different characters, hoping eventually to get his big break and get "discovered" for the movies. This week he's been wearing a vest and trying to flesh out the character Ibrahim Sulameini, an Iranian immigrant and self radicalized suicide bomber. He's getting a lot more short hop riders, because nobody makes him drive way out to the suburbs any more.
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Old 01-08-20, 07:43 PM
  #13253  
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Is proven to shrink hemorrhoids...
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Old 01-08-20, 08:23 PM
  #13254  
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...ought to know.
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Old 01-09-20, 08:38 AM
  #13255  
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Shaved his legs and then he was a she.
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Old 01-09-20, 09:34 AM
  #13256  
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In the backroom he was everybody's darling.
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Old 01-09-20, 02:07 PM
  #13257  
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...his Grindr profile name is "Just Peachy".
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Old 01-09-20, 04:02 PM
  #13258  
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Never once gave it away, everyone had to pay and pay...
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Old 01-09-20, 04:08 PM
  #13259  
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...has one of those "Nobody rides for free. Cash, grass, or ass." stickers on the dashboard of his '73 Chevy pickup.
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Old 01-09-20, 04:18 PM
  #13260  
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Right under the scented pine tree...

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Old 01-09-20, 06:35 PM
  #13261  
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...unlike the trendy, fake journalism of the Times, his mission is defined as exposing lies as the truth.
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Old 01-09-20, 06:54 PM
  #13262  
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Stuffs his pickets with pine tree air fresheners but still smells like used lies.
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Old 01-10-20, 02:14 AM
  #13263  
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It's an improvement over the fish he used to hang over it to dry, expescially after he stopped setting the fence on fire.
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Old 01-11-20, 06:11 PM
  #13264  
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Recently made the switch from a meat-based intelligence to a plant-base intelligence and what a difference! You can almost stand to be around him; he's quiet, calm and is only aggressive when you get between him and the light source.
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Old 01-11-20, 06:56 PM
  #13265  
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Maxed out his Unobtainium™ VISA over the holidays.
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Old 01-11-20, 08:12 PM
  #13266  
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...tired of always carrying a huge credit card balance, he decided in November that he would economize.
Food was a logical place to cut back, and now, as a Breatharian, he hasn't spent a dime on food since December.

Extra bonus is that there are no more dirty dishes. And there are additional savings in the TP department.
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Old 01-11-20, 08:52 PM
  #13267  
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The reports of his depth are greatly exaggerated.
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Old 01-12-20, 03:41 PM
  #13268  
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With all the spam filling his inbox he knows he'll never have to go hungry.
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Old 01-12-20, 04:30 PM
  #13269  
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Eloquently combined brain surgery with lawn darts. Lobotomies are his specialty though hes been boning up on vasectomies, kidney stones, and precise dental work.
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Old 01-12-20, 05:53 PM
  #13270  
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Is just boning up.
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Old 01-12-20, 07:26 PM
  #13271  
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Found a long length of link sausages on a bike ride and wore them home wrapped around his neck like a meaty scarf.
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Old 01-12-20, 09:52 PM
  #13272  
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Mother always loved you more.
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Old 01-12-20, 11:01 PM
  #13273  
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...has a sudden and inexplicable desire for a hot polish with kraut on a crunchy roll.
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Old 01-13-20, 12:03 AM
  #13274  
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Try LYING this time.
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Old 01-13-20, 05:19 AM
  #13275  
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An utter failure at lying, he's taken up flying.
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