Wooden Tiger

Well, just as a warning, this is probably going to be a long post, and maybe I need to talk to a psychiatrist instead of posting here...some would argue that's most certainly a good idea.

Anyway, as a kid I was a pretty good rider; fast, athletic, and was faster than anyone in the neighborhood when it came to BMXing. As we all know, things change.

These days, I'm a little less competitive. Instead of riding at break-neck speeds in every attempt to save face in the neighborhood, I just get on my bike and...pedal. I keep trying to convince myself that improving my strength and quickening my pace doesn't really matter to me, but sometimes I really do.

Now, this is going to sound cold and probably worse than it actually is, but it irritates the hell out of me that my wife can ride a bike substantially faster than I can, and I'm not talking by racing down a straight and she's up on me by a bike or two, I'm talking about riding a path with a mix of dips, hills, etc. and she's literally 1/8-1/4 mile up the path waiting for me. She's up there on the top of the hill, three hills away, parked on the side of the path sipping her water, sending text messages, or whatever. By the time I've huffed and puffed up that last hill, she's well-rested and ready to go.

...But that's not what bothers me the most. She also outweighs me. She's battled her weight all her life and her weight has fluctuated from 200-260 lbs at times. There's no denying she's a big girl. Let me just make it clear that I'm not a small guy. I weigh 215 lbs on a good day and I'm 5'11. I have quite the spare tire on me, so I'm certainly no Arnie. It just eats me that she's heavier than I am and so much faster. While I'm the better mountain biker (from the BMX days...), she far exceeds me on the road. I've pushed myself to my limits trying to keep up with her and I've pretty much just given up. It doesn't matter if she's weighing 200 lbs or 260 lbs, she flat-out smokes me. All things considered though, I've watched her pull lengths on men and women alike who are far smaller than she is.

Now, I have a new MTB and I wanna do things I never got to do as a kid because my mother wanted to make sure I never got a "boo boo." I wanted to compete in BMX (outside the neighborhood...) as a kid and she was just adamant I was going to break my arm, back, neck, leg, or what have you. It's been years since I've been under the protective thumb of "mommy," and I want to compete in some mountain bike races. I have no experience with this sort of thing, I'm sure I have horrible riding technique, and plain and simple, while I can ride some decent distances, I'm flat-out SLOW.

I'm really doubting myself. I don't mind racing and coming in at the back of the pack, as I have no experience, but I'm just feeling defeated like I'll never be any faster than I am now and because of the lack of confidence I have in my abilities, it's hard for me to even wanna try. It's like I have this bike and don't want to ride it and push myself, I just wanna carry on by looking at it and riding a slow bike path, giving up pretty much any "urge" to even want to push myself...if that makes sense.

Here I am with a nice, new Cannondale Flash 29 2 with all this nice equipment and I'm feeling like what I want to accomplish is an impossibility, so I'm going to ride this bike on a dirt bike path. For that, I could have gotten a bike from Walmart for $100. I feel like I've got Big Foot and the only thing I'm going to use it for is driving over parking blocks.

shadoman

Evidently not.

What bugs you isn't that she CAN outride you...It's the fact that she DOES .
Generally when two people ride together, they try to match pace.
She's kind of flaunting her ability, which can seem a bit rude.

If she's been overweight all her life, she's USED to moving that weight around more than you.

Wooden Tiger

Honestly, she's not flaunting, I'm seriously that damned slow.

My wife definitely isn't the flaunting type, but for a big girl, she's pretty fast. She just wants to lose weight and rides hard to do it. She's far more motivated to go fast than I am. I've pretty much given up on trying to catch her, so I've already defeated myself.

That being said, she did come home from a ride earlier in the autumn gloating about how the 110 lb "pro" dressed in her matching Trek shorts/shirt went speeding by with a snide look on her face. She said the woman slowed down numerous times, looking back at her, then waited for her to catch up, then would speed up and take off again. My wife told me she finally had enough of it and chased her down, only to pull her on one of the steepest hills along the path.

...But yes, you do make a point about her having to move more weight, so I guess it does make sense that she probably does have stronger legs than I do.

I guess I just feel really "helpless" in my abilities to ride fast. It just doesn't matter how hard I try, it seems like I don't get any faster.

plodderslusk

Lucky you to be married to such a gifted lady ! Some women will smoke most of us guys regardless how much we train. Imagine how good she would be if she dropped those extra pounds. I stopped smoking at 37, 18 years ago and have bicycled a lot since then. Progress has been slow (and now declining I guess due to age ). But I can still remember how some of mynow pretty easy hills used to waste me especially late in a ride some years ago. Ride long , ride slow and please try a race, you just might love it.

Neil_B

OK. Try this on....

My hero, Bdinger, entered a mountain bike race in Nebraska at 400 pounds. I can't find the ride report on his blog any more, but here's the thread here at Bike Forums:

https://www.bikeforums.net/showthread...enge-complete!

I entered a bike race in 2011, with no experience, weighing nearly 300 pounds, and with knees so bad I had both of them surgically replaced eight months later.

https://www.bikeforums.net/showthread...-Wildlife-Race

Bdinger and I both entered these events knowing the odds were against us finishing among the leaders. But we both entered, and had a good time. We could have sat around and lamented that we weren't Contador. We didn't. We went out and did it. You do it too.

Enter a race. Just go ahead and register for one. Then take it seriously. Push yourself. Its through the pushing yourself that you will learn who you are. And you are a lot tougher a man than you are giving yourself credit for.

One last example..... my friend Chris, who post as Nerys here, is going to ride a century in September. Its a goal he first though of a decade ago. He spent a decade doing just what you have here, which is not doing and being fixated on not doing. He's going to succeed this time because he believes in himself, not what other people believe about him. After all, its absurd to think someone 455 pounds can ride a hundred miles on a 45 pound bike, isn't it? Monday Chris completed a 30 mile ride, the first time he'd ever ridden that distance. As roadies passed him he sped up to try to catch them.....

Yo Spiff

When riding with my wife, I have to make an effort to stay with her as her normal pace is pretty slow. I've found the best approach is to let her take the lead, otherwise I find myself way out in front without realizing I have done it. Perhaps your wife does not understand how frustrating this is, and needs to do the same, letting you lead. It is much easier for the fast person to slow down and have a pleasant casual ride, than for the slower person to hammer and try to keep up when they can't.
If I go on a club ride, however, I am the one left in the dust most of the time. If I catch the group at a rest stop, they will be leaving just after I get there. I'm not a slowpoke, but I'll burn out early if I push to keep up with the faster people. I don't ride with that club much anymore, and when I do, it is to ride somewhere new, with the understanding I will likely be on my own.

By the way, it is possible that when you get faster, she will also have improved, so the situation may or may not change with time.
May I suggest a tandem?

IBOHUNT

Might I suggest taking the bike to Poorhouse farm park just west of Martinsburg (County 45/8)
Left out of the park onto Poorhouse Rd
Right onto Salem Church Rd
Left onto Tuscarora Pike
South to Panther lane turn around and back to the park

Repeat.

Wooden Tiger

Yes, and she's nearly six years older than me, to boot!

The most ironic part about it is that for years I'd been pressing her to take up biking because I still had "BMX dreams" and wanted to revisit my childhood and jump "Devil's Pit," which, looking back, wasn't all that "devilish," unless you'd consider a two-foot high dirt ramp with a five-foot long ditch in front of it, which was about two feet deep. My wife told me those days were over, and in hindsight, they'd actually just begun, but she didn't know it...

She finally agreed that she'd like to try biking and we dove in head-first. I did some research and was shocked at how expensive bikes were. Times had surely changed from the last time I'd been on a bike, which was some 20+ years prior. I gritted my teeth as I purchased that GT Avalanche 1.0 and she thought her Avalanche 3.0 was expensive (she figured she didn't need a bike as "extreme" as mine, as I was the adrenaline junky).

Prior to biking, she just had no motivation for anything, most likely due to her weight, because every time I'd suggest something, I'd get the, "I'm too fat" answer; more the reason to get a bike, right? I told her she needed some excitement in her life and was in serious need of loosening up and getting an adrenaline rush. She was adamant she wasn't the "adventurous" type.

After we got those GT bikes we joined a bike club who had advertised in the paper. They immediately took us in and helped with the motivation. We rode maybe three or four times when we were asked if we wanted to go mountain biking. Rachel certainly had her reservations, as she was never the strong biker in terms of experience with sorts. For me, this was an excellent opportunity to prove to myself (and her) I was not washed up and was ready to take on "Devil's Pit" head-on and my days were not over!

We got on the trails and she was scared. She was even more scared because the trails we were riding were not easy trails...but she was a trooper and gave it her all. We weren't even to a mountain yet when she fell and wound up with the bike on top of her and a chain-ring in her leg. The cut was a nasty one; blood dripping down her leg, soaking her sock in a deep red hue. She sat there for a moment, then got up, brushed herself off, and said, "Let's go!" She was just not going to sit there and whine about this big, gnarly gash in her leg. In fact, it was so impressive one of the other riders we were with told her, "DON'T WIPE IT OFF! I GOTTA GET A PIC OF THIS!" It found its way on to the club forum and was quite the talk for about a week.

After the ride, I told her, "Congratulations, you just did what's 10x's more dangerous than jumping Devil's Pit EVER was." Her response was, "Really?" I was like, "YES!"

I'll never forget how proud she was of herself. She was instantly hooked. It motivated her to improve eating habits, try a few different diets, etc., and she was ALWAYS ready to go out on that mountain bike, whether it was to the trails or just a ride along the C&O.

Things slacked off for 2011. It was a hot year and in 2010 I came to what I want to say was a near-brush with death from heat exhaustion. We were out in 98 degree heat and air that was NOT moving. We'd run out of water on the trails (I had about 2 liters with me when we started out...). We tried to get back to the car and it was a far distance. I felt as if I were going to pass out numerous times; then the nausea and light-headedness set in. We did make it back to the car and obviously lived, but that scared me. Since that time, I will not ride in weather warmer than about 85 degrees, especially if it's in the sun.

For 2012, we were ready to get started again when we were hit from behind at 55-60 mph in stopped traffic. The crash destroyed our mountain bikes, rack, and car. I was very lucky with a sore neck and back, glass in my head, and one nasty lump on my shin. She didn't turn out so well. She had suffered a "seatbelt bruise" which actually turned her entire upper body purple, plus a cracked rib or two. For two and a half months she had visible bruises and did not sleep due to the pain from her ribs. That accident killed our 2012 season.

So, now it's 2013 and we've gotten tax checks and she got a substantial bonus for work. We're also still dealing with legal stuff from the crash, so we're expecting a settlement sometime but we're still unsure when. I guess that'll come when the moron's insurance company makes a reasonable offer.

We're healthy again and missing the mountain biking. We're on a mission to replace those mountain bikes (I just got mine yesterday!) and bike rack, plus the rest of the little things we lost. This year, I'm ready to step up my game but just feeling like I'm so far "back" I can't even begin to "see the light." I'm determined to get out on that new bike and "shred" but I feel like the mind is stronger than the body and I don't even want to try. The "want" is there but the "confidence" is not. It's almost as if I'm scared to even try.

mkadam68

If it's any consolation or encouragement: the racers who get the most applause from the spectators (fellow racers who are waiting for their race to start) are the ones in last place BUT finish anyway.

Get out there, train some more, and enter a race. In MTBing, you'll have a blast!

Wooden Tiger

My wife made a good point last night. She said, "Well, that's not an easy race, so even just finishing would be a win!"

How right she is. Dunno if any of you heard of it, but this race is called "Cranky Monkey." I've never even seen what it is, but from what I hear, it's very difficult. There are a few people in our club that do it but they're very seasoned riders and in very good shape.

Fangowolf

What kind of bike is she riding? Are we talking apples to apples? You could be losing alot of power to the suspension and wide knobby tires.

Find out what gear inches she rides in mostly and what you are in mostly and see if technique is part of it. Gear inch = chain ring teeth/ rear cog teeth * wheel inches. If your gear inches are a bit different it may tell you what to work on to be better on the road.

You could even get a timed run on a route and ride her bike and see what your time is.

Wooden Tiger

The road bikes we have are very close in terms of the gears. In fact, they may even have the same exact ratios.

While riding the C&O Canal, her mountain bike was far easier to ride. She had an 8-speed while I had a 9-speed, so I assume the gears on hers were spread further apart. I mentioned to her one time that it was real difficult for me to keep up due to this. We switched bikes and she immediately noticed a difference and realized, "Hey, you weren't kidding!"

We got out on the trails and my bike was far superior to hers in terms of climbing, so things were quite the opposite. Simply put, my Avalanche 1.0 was made to climb while her Avalanche 3.0 was made to cruise.

steve2k

What are you doing to train yourself to get faster?
I'm currently training for a half marathon and I'm convinced that sprint intervals have made a difference to my stamina and speed. I'm never going to be a fast runner but by doing intervals and following a proper training plan. I'm getting faster.

I mix up Interval days (30s sprint, 90s recovery) with Tempo days (20 mins at 120% my normal speed) with slow recovery runs where my heart rate is less than 150 - if that means I have to walk then so be it.

Apparently people often do their intervals not hard enough, and their recovery days too hard which means they end up tired all the time and never really gaining. I remember hearing that Chris Hoy (English Olympic champion cyclist) would be curled up like a baby following his interval training. I try to remember this as I'm coasting along.

good luck!

FrenchFit 

I suspect you'd see a major improvement in your speed by going to a spin class twice a week. You can increase your sitting cadence and standing endurance for hills in no time, and you can't get hurt or look stupid in a spin class. You can work as hard as you want, or just slack off..no one knows or cares. When you transition to the bike, you will feel ready to shred.

bbeasley

I'm envious. You've got a great situation. A spouse who rides and is quicker than you. You always have someone to ride with and built in motivation to improve your fitness level. Ego aside, you're in a great place.

Keep pouring the miles into your legs, it takes years not weeks or months. Add some wind sprints in for speed and you'll get there! 2.5 years ago a 15 MPH average over 20 flat miles was an accomplishment for me. Now I'm knocking on 20s door. My PR is 19.7 MPH during a flat course, 20 mile, Triathlon.

mymojo

My wife and I are different levels of ability and such. It frustrated both of us. From me, she was always slowing me down. To her, I was always scowling at her to catch up. That kind of stuff. It really got to where riding together wasnt much fun for either of us.

Then we bought a tandem. Now we ride at the same pace and our communication skills have gotten better.

Ya might try it.

Wooden Tiger

Well, I haven't done anything (yet). I guess I just planned on substantially improving my eating habits, plus just riding A LOT.

Yeah, I guess I just planned on getting on the bikes and riding and riding and riding some more, hoping to build up some muscles.

IBOHUNT

^This
I can recall when 13 mph over 20 miles was a stretch.
Now, 18 months later, a 45'/mile gain 20 mile ride can be done in 62 minutes.

Neil_B

I'll be doing the CASA ride May 19. If you are, perhaps we can ride together. If not, perhaps we can ride on Sunday on the C & O. I don't have a mountain bike and I'm balance-challenged so I avoid the hard-core offroad stuff.

Beachgrad05

I outweigh my husband and he won't ride with me I think in part because he fears me being way faster. I would be because:

1. He rides my 98/99 Schwinn Mesa with Mtn bike gearing....tho I did put more street friendly tires with flat strip down center on them on it.
2. I ride my FX when I ride with him instead of my Madone. It has 700x28 tires and more road gearing.
3. Despite my being overweight I have always been into sports (played softball and went to gym) so may be more "fit" in general from being accustomed to exercise.
4. I ride frequently and push myself.

I don't want to compete with him, I just want him to ride with me. I would get him a bike if he would express interest in riding with me.

Lucky you for having a spouse who likes to ride.

Wooden Tiger

Sounds good! A lot of our riding will be along the C&O as there aren't many close places to mountain bike. We were thinking about sponsoring a weekend ride with our club, too.

Maybe he's just kinda unmotivated for the same reasons.

Swapping tires makes a HUGE difference. We bought some Continental tires for our old MTBs and they were fantastic. Riding on them compared to the MTB tires made all the difference in the world.

howsteepisit

Have you made sure that your bike is set up properly? The BMX riders I see have their seat far too low for efficient road riding. Your leg should be essentially straight with your heel on the pedals. Then ride with the balls of your foot over the center of the pedal. If your seat is the correct height, then you need to consider interval training if you want to get faster. There may be just over one jillion threads on Bike Forums alone on how to do intervals, but basically, ride as hard and fast as you can, for a mi ute or so, then rest for a minute or tow, repeat until you cannot do any more. Its more complicated than that, and you would need to do some with longer intervals too, but thats one way to get faster.

Neil_B

OK. When you get to 50 posts and you can PM let's set something up.

Beachgrad05

Clarify: I would be faster if I wanted to be based on the reasons listed.

However....

he has never been interested in sports, going to gym etc. he is non-competitive. He played softball for a bit with me but only because I pestered him to. If he rides with me (I can get him to ride to local sports bar/restaurant for breakfast on Sunday mornings)....he seems to enjoy it and we just cruise.

honestly if I could get him out, I would ride with him not ahead as I want to spend time together. I get my going fast out on my road bike...he could easily ride faster I think if he wanted as he is about 35 lbs less than me....he works as a mechanic on big trucks so he gets "exercise" at work...he just doesn't "work out". Really, I just don't think he is interested in general and is not worried as much about me being "better" or "faster"

vesteroid

Oh, I have this one in spades.

I didnt even bother to read all the replies, because on this one, I have lengthy personal experience.

My wife whips my ass every time. no matter what, in anything athletic, or in the smarts department. Heck she even wins in the pretty department. I dont stand a chance. She is super competitive.

I feel the same way you do. I am CONSTANTLY frustrated that I am not faster. I train pretty darn hard, harder than many people on this board. I have a friend who is a coach, and a trainer in my garage, and I have a plan built for 5 days a week training every week. I rode 2500 miles last year, and am still slow.

I went on a "RECOVERY" ride with 3 other guys from our local race team monday. I would not have gone, but one of the guys convinced me he was going to stay under 200 watts the entire ride. yeah, well, that went well. We did about 20 miles and I admit they took it easy on the flats...BUT NOOOOOOO every darn hill they came to, they simply hammered up. I was standing, pushing over 350 watts and they were riding away from me like I was standing still. They easily got .25 mile in front of me on the climbs (and these were small climbs).

It pissed me off to no end.

I deal with it however, and tell myself that this time last year I wasnt riding 10 miles, much less 100 miles. I am faster than I was last year, and believe one day I will get faster yet.

I long ago gave up on keeping up with my wife, now I just enjoy watching her but while riding. I get a kick out of seeing her go play with the big boys and ride with them. TH called her sneaky fast...she actually is, and she is actually faster than they saw on the century.

I just give up.

So all I am saying is, learn to let it go. Learn to just go have fun, get exercise, and enjoy the time you are spending together. I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt its been great for our relationship for us to ride together (even if it still pisses me off once per week).

Let it go....go have fun, user her as inspiration to get faster even if you never catch her.

god I hate skinnies and fast people!!!!!!!!!!!!!