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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 04-27-20, 08:04 PM
  #13576  
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...his briefs have not been brief since his waist size hit 56. Homeless people often steal them from his clothesline to use as tents.
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Old 04-28-20, 04:59 AM
  #13577  
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Always stuck up and putting on airs, what the rest of us call "getting naked" he calls "my debriefing"...
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 04-28-20, 07:00 AM
  #13578  
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His boys need a home.
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Old 04-28-20, 07:35 AM
  #13579  
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He's offered to give them a hand "until they get settled"...
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 04-28-20, 05:06 PM
  #13580  
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...a long time athletic supporter.
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Old 04-28-20, 08:47 PM
  #13581  
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Considers Viagra a classic sports booster.
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Old 04-28-20, 08:49 PM
  #13582  
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Only wears pants for the pockets, and usually only when his parole officer comes over.
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Old 04-29-20, 05:55 AM
  #13583  
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In a recent study, conducted by the National Institute of Progressive Marsupial Experience (NIPME), he was offered the choice between pants and a placebo. In 100% of the tests he chose the placebo.
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 04-29-20, 12:09 PM
  #13584  
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The B-side of liars.
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Old 05-01-20, 05:37 AM
  #13585  
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Way back in August of 2016 his post:

Originally Posted by skijor View Post
His lies are guaranteed to infuriate, or your money back.
got him to the top of the Fibboard 100 for the first and last time. He's been desperately trying to avoid being a one fib wonder ever since.
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Old 05-01-20, 11:56 AM
  #13586  
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...conveniently omits the fact that he is the sole judge and owner of the Fibboard 100, which he purchased at a steep discount in the financial crisis off 2008.
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Old 05-01-20, 01:41 PM
  #13587  
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Is positively seething with jealousy that I got such a great deal on the Fibboard 100 platform. He couldn't even bid on it because, at the time, his vast wealth was tied up in 15 Mega-Millions tickets for the coming Saturday night.

Which he lost...
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Old 05-01-20, 03:07 PM
  #13588  
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...as the sole owner of the Fibboard 100 platform, he's been trying to stay on Trump's good side. He doesn't want a Justice Department investigation. So he never publicly says anything derogatory about the man.
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Old 05-02-20, 05:01 AM
  #13589  
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Is always appreciative of technical innovation in cycling technology as seem in this post from way, way, way back in 2014

Originally Posted by 3alarmer View Post
...rides a step through frame because top tubes increase his anxiety levels. He's working on inventing a tubeless frame, made from string and old potato skins.
In fact, if you navigate to the Framebuilder's forum you can see many threads devoted to his advances in string and potato skin bike frame technology...
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 05-02-20, 08:07 AM
  #13590  
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His real innovation is recycling old memory lapses into the J. Pollock Cycle Extreme. With a carbon pubic hair fiber frame, he gets screwed forward and backward.

Last edited by Jseis; 05-02-20 at 09:30 AM.
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Old 05-02-20, 02:29 PM
  #13591  
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Right before it asplodes.
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Old 05-02-20, 06:27 PM
  #13592  
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Is marketing dehydrated water, regular and diet.
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Old 05-03-20, 01:26 PM
  #13593  
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The perpetual winner of the dirtbag of the year contest at Modern Dirtbag he's got almost enough copies to even out that one end of the porch on the doublewide. A few more years and he may have enough if the porch doesn't completely fall in that new sinkhole by then.
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Old 05-03-20, 10:33 PM
  #13594  
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...he finally yielded to social pressure and is now wearing a mask in public. Still won't wear pants when he goes out, though.
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Old 05-04-20, 04:48 AM
  #13595  
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As the model for Ken, Barbie's companion, he really has no need to wear pants in public either.
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Old 05-04-20, 08:14 AM
  #13596  
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Was the stunt double for Max Headroom.
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Old 05-04-20, 03:02 PM
  #13597  
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...often goes around singing to himself, "The pants, in France, are mainly worn by chance." He's a big fan of My Fair Lady, and has every Broadway cast album ever produced.
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Old 05-05-20, 01:28 PM
  #13598  
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Used to be able to pass for kind of normal before he met Ahsposo, it was all downhill after that.
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Old 05-05-20, 03:02 PM
  #13599  
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Never passes for normal except in Kentucky; in the swamp the other critters question the shirt and in town they wonder why his pants are still at home but in Kentucky it's okay.
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Old 05-05-20, 08:00 PM
  #13600  
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...he passes out whenever he has to wear pants. The doctors say it's some issue with blood flow and circulatory constriction, but he's certain it is because pants steal the soul.
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