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I ask you this.

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I ask you this.

Old 05-25-19, 04:09 PM
  #1  
Juan Foote
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I ask you this.

If someone you don't like and who doesn't like you is about to make a HUGE mistake, you have information about it and know what's coming. You know ahead of time that when this mistake manifests itself it will get turned into a reason to blame you.

Do you try and give advice to that person you don't like about how big a cluster "mess" they are about to get themselves into, or just let it happen knowing you will end up as the scapegoat?
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Old 05-25-19, 04:15 PM
  #2  
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Act such that if the whole story becomes public knowledge after the fact, you'll look like a decent human being.

Tit for tat wars are part of human life, but an unfortunate part, and this may offer a way out.

See the truth, speak the truth, and act in your best judgment to move the world in a better direction.

I don't know if that helps any.
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Old 05-25-19, 04:19 PM
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Are we talking life/health/safety threatening situation? If so, sure.

Otherwise, probably not.

If you're talking finances, relationships, etc., I'd stay out of it.

In my experience people who blame others for their mistakes cannot be reasoned with and are incapable of accepting or even considering advice, incapable of gratitude or learning from their own mistakes.
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Old 05-25-19, 04:22 PM
  #4  
Juan Foote
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Thank you cankle.

I would never willingly let a person I know, like or hate, be purposefully hurt in a physical way. Your last line is quite germane to the issue.

Last edited by Juan Foote; 05-28-19 at 11:35 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 05-25-19, 04:22 PM
  #5  
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If you really dislike this person, why involve yourself? The people I dislike I avoid. Maybe this is more complicated than like/dislike.
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Old 05-25-19, 04:24 PM
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And if you accept any advice I give and it yields an unexpected/undesirable outcome am I then the scapegoat?
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Old 05-25-19, 04:28 PM
  #7  
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Originally Posted by Phamilton View Post
And if you accept any advice I give and it yields an unexpected/undesirable outcome am I then the scapegoat?
It would be nice. You mind?
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Old 05-25-19, 04:49 PM
  #8  
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Originally Posted by Juan Foote View Post
It would be nice. You mind?
Not at all. My advice is to stay out of it if you really dislike the person.
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Old 05-27-19, 06:03 PM
  #9  
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perhaps someone going through loops of negative experiences with others would be better off getting professional guidance in understanding and resolving their behaviour instead of just writing on an internet site.
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Old 05-27-19, 06:18 PM
  #10  
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If they ASK for advice then I'll help them. Otherwise, pushing it on them means taking some responsibility for the outcome, and knowing that they're going to screw up regardless I don't want a part of that.
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Old 05-27-19, 06:30 PM
  #11  
Juan Foote
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Originally Posted by clemsongirl View Post
perhaps someone going through loops of negative experiences with others would be better off getting professional guidance in understanding and resolving their behaviour instead of just writing on an internet site.
I find it interesting from time to time to hit that "view post" tab just so I can remind myself why I put you on my block list. This certainly confirms it.

There was a time back in my younger and more naïve days that I imagined that all the people who were my friends and family then would always be so, and it was just going to run along as a happily ever after. Years of forced growth, some counseling, and a few other life occurrences hammered home the truth that many of the people you call friends and family are neither. Certainly, it can come down to a level of how much you are willing to forgive and how much doormatting you wish to do....

I honestly have only a small handful of people in my life that I continue to care what they think of me, or that I wish to have continued relation with. One of them is my best friend and my wife. I have loads of "friends" but maintain a certain level of distance and insulation from them now.

I post things that enter into my head from time to time that others can interpret any number of ways. I value seeing the scope of answers I get from the varied user base on this forum. Well, most of them anyway....
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Old 05-27-19, 11:52 PM
  #12  
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What does it mean for you to be blamed or a scapegoat? What effect will that have? Name you feel guilty? Cost you a job? Nothing?

Will this person listen if you offer advice?
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Old 05-28-19, 07:32 AM
  #13  
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Can you make your concerns know to the person through a third party? At least then you know that you made some effort to protect the person from themselves.
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Old 05-28-19, 07:44 AM
  #14  
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Pretty vague information provided...........if it's work related and is going to cost the company a considerable expense, I'd say something regardless, since it's going to affect all the employees as a whole. If it's non work related, then the "School of Hard Knocks" is a great teaching institution, of course, for those that survive it.
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Old 05-28-19, 08:56 AM
  #15  
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Originally Posted by leob1 View Post
Can you make your concerns know to the person through a third party? At least then you know that you made some effort to protect the person from themselves.
Yes, has already been done.
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Old 05-28-19, 09:57 AM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by dynodonn View Post
if it's work related
I don't mix personal and business. If this had been work related it never would have been a question.
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Old 05-28-19, 11:26 AM
  #17  
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Originally Posted by Juan Foote View Post
I would never willingly let a person I know, like or hate, be purposefully hurt in a physical way. Your last line is quite germane to the issue.
fify

I believe jermaine was one of the jackson 5. And jemaine is one of the flight of the conchords.
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Old 05-28-19, 11:35 AM
  #18  
Juan Foote
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Originally Posted by RubeRad View Post
fify

I believe jermaine was one of the jackson 5. And jemaine is one of the flight of the conchords.
Lol, thanks.....I know what I was meaning, but apparently forgot how to spell.
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Old 05-28-19, 11:47 AM
  #19  
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I vaguely remember some foo-like story about Jermaine a few years back, did he name his kids something weird or something?
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Old 05-28-19, 01:09 PM
  #20  
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Originally Posted by Juan Foote View Post

Do you try and give advice to that person you don't like about how big a cluster "mess" they are about to get themselves into, or just let it happen knowing you will end up as the scapegoat?

Are you concerned that subject person will be angry that you gave them the advice?
I would perhaps find a neutral third party who would be willing to pass the information along.
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Old 05-28-19, 01:13 PM
  #21  
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If you are able to video record your enemy making a huge mistake you'll be able to enjoy it for years to come.
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Old 05-28-19, 01:29 PM
  #22  
Juan Foote
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Originally Posted by DiabloScott View Post
Are you concerned that subject person will be angry that you gave them the advice?
I would perhaps find a neutral third party who would be willing to pass the information along.
See reply 15.
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Old 05-28-19, 01:31 PM
  #23  
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Originally Posted by tyrion View Post
If you are able to video record your enemy making a huge mistake you'll be able to enjoy it for years to come.
You aren't wrong.

Unfortunate to say that with this situation I could write it down on paper right now to show myself and this other individual a month, perhaps a few, from now and am 95% certain I would have it all correct.
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Old 05-28-19, 02:56 PM
  #24  
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Originally Posted by canklecat View Post
Are we talking life/health/safety threatening situation? If so, sure.

Otherwise, probably not.

If you're talking finances, relationships, etc., I'd stay out of it.

In my experience people who blame others for their mistakes cannot be reasoned with and are incapable of accepting or even considering advice, incapable of gratitude or learning from their own mistakes.
This
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Old 05-29-19, 08:46 AM
  #25  
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If you take glee in the misfortunes of those who wish you ill, with a well-placed and well-deserved, "Told you so...," then you owe it to yourself to warn them beforehand. It's like knowing you are buying a winning lottery ticket.

Flip side is that if the mistake you think they are making doesn't play out that way, will they dislike you any more or less? And will you care?

It's like Wonka with Veruca Salt, "No. Stop. Don't..." knowing full well the spoiled brat will do whatever she wants, anyway.
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