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Patronizing or encouraging words?

Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Patronizing or encouraging words?

Old 07-11-05, 05:19 PM
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PennyPenique
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Patronizing or encouraging words?

I ride about 200 miles a week. My husband, bikes about 20 miles a week on weekends with me. During our ride, he sets the pace to ensure it's leisurely and not an all out ride, ride. Anyway, last weekend as we were going up a hill a cyclist yelled out to me (as he rode by me in the opposite direction) "you can catch him, just don't give up!" I wanted to wallop him. I'm sure it meant to be encouraging, but pleaze!
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Old 07-11-05, 05:37 PM
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haha..
same sort of thing happened to me. i was going up palomar mountain with a buddy last week, and about 1/3 of the way up i had to stop and take a leak, so i told him to keep going and i'll catch up. well, once i was back on the bike and going again, i saw a couple of guys who had stopped at an overlook point, and one of them chuckles and yells out, "go man, you're catching him!" so i just looked over, smiled, and said, "i know."
i'm never sure if that sort of thing is meant as genuine encouragement, but i'm pretty sure it's always good-hearted.
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Old 07-11-05, 05:50 PM
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Old 07-11-05, 06:04 PM
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I made that mistake once. On a longer incline I saw this rider standing and mashing where I would have strongly recommended sitting and spinning. As I pass said rider I say, nice job as a comment to the harder riding style. Turns out later that the riders were ladies and they took my comments as condescending.

I could see how it could be misinterpreted that way but even after I explained my thought process (carefully leaving out the fact that I couldn't make out they were girls), they were still in a huff. Obviously they had other issues that somehow got projected on to me so I just wished them well.

Since then I make it a point to not say anything encouraging to any rider I meet, in fact I make sure to yell "YOU SUCK" to everyone I pass (I kid ofcourse).
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Old 07-11-05, 06:07 PM
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I usually skip commenting on anyone's riding - the only time I really say anything is if I see someone stopped on the side of the road, off his/her bike; then I'll ask "you okay?" as I slow down to go around.

My wife's a marathon runner and in way better shape than I am, so I never make assumptions
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Old 07-11-05, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by PennyPenique
I ride about 200 miles a week. My husband, bikes about 20 miles a week on weekends with me. During our ride, he sets the pace to ensure it's leisurely and not an all out ride, ride. Anyway, last weekend as we were going up a hill a cyclist yelled out to me (as he rode by me in the opposite direction) "you can catch him, just don't give up!" I wanted to wallop him. I'm sure it meant to be encouraging, but pleaze!
You should have attacked him and shown him who's boss.
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Old 07-11-05, 06:14 PM
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Har-har

It's quite easy to take a comment the wrong way, especially when you're pushing yourself so hard you're about to puke. I'm sure it's meant well, as I mean well when I cheer others on after I've finished a race (running, heh never enough time to cheer after a biking race). I've had one guy get mad when I offered some sincere encouragment at an MTB race after he passed me going up a technical climb that I eventually had to walk up. I passed him and beat him by a few minutes when all was said and done though, so I'm okay with it now
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Old 07-11-05, 06:17 PM
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a cyclist yelled out to me (as he rode by me in the opposite direction) "you can catch him, just don't give up!" I wanted to wallop him.
Who cares what he said? I don't get what the fuss is about.
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Old 07-11-05, 06:24 PM
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id say, you need a more in shape husband.

yeah dude, whats the fuss. That other rider could call you a lot of other worse things.
 
Old 07-11-05, 06:26 PM
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I had a similar experience years ago. A female friend and I were doing about 80 miles in the Washington DC area. She rode slower then I usually do, so I was just keeping her company and giving her encouragement on the hills, etc. About 75 miles in, we were slowly spinning up yet another hill and some other rider passed us with a condescending shout of "looks like you bit off more then you can chew". Except I had a lot left in the tank so I just took off and reamed him out all the way to the top.

I don't ever make condescending remarks to other cyclists on the road, although as others have pointed out, even complimentary remarks can be misconstrued. You never know if that person just crawling along and looking pathetic is taking a nice easy recovery ride or is 200 miles into their day or whatever. They might be willing to abandon "easy" for a few hundred yards and show you exactly where you rank in the cycling hierarchy (i..e, far closer to the bottom then you had previously thought).
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Old 07-11-05, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by PennyPenique
I ride about 200 miles a week. My husband, bikes about 20 miles a week on weekends with me. During our ride, he sets the pace to ensure it's leisurely and not an all out ride, ride. Anyway, last weekend as we were going up a hill a cyclist yelled out to me (as he rode by me in the opposite direction) "you can catch him, just don't give up!" I wanted to wallop him. I'm sure it meant to be encouraging, but pleaze!

This is a good example as to why God made as with a middle finger..
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Old 07-11-05, 06:48 PM
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I don't know why it should bother you...They were words of encouragement. Now if they made a derogatory comment about your riding then it might be different. As for me, I don't usually comment about other riders because I don't know the person.. They could just be taking it easy, relaxing or just cooling down. There are so many variables out there that it is difficult to judge.

You should just take it as encouragement and not a measure of your riding ability.
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Old 07-11-05, 07:23 PM
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I have also been on the other side of the fence of this story.

Heading down PCH to pepperdine hill I'm at the back of the club paceline and two riders come up making a comment on how someone on a nice orbea should be riding faster. They pass our paceline and get to pepperdine hill ahead of us. By the time we get to the base of that hill the guy how commented was about 1/3 up and his frined almost 1/2 way up.

This happens to be one of my favorite hills so I blast up as fast as I can, passing the first guy at the half way point and the other gy about 3/4's of the way p and then wait for them at the top so I could smile and wave as they rode by.

For some reason they had no comments when they got to the top
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Old 07-11-05, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by PennyPenique
I ride about 200 miles a week. My husband, bikes about 20 miles a week on weekends with me. During our ride, he sets the pace to ensure it's leisurely and not an all out ride, ride. Anyway, last weekend as we were going up a hill a cyclist yelled out to me (as he rode by me in the opposite direction) "you can catch him, just don't give up!" I wanted to wallop him. I'm sure it meant to be encouraging, but pleaze!
I can understand your anger and I'm right there with you. Good, bad, or indifferent, he made a value judgement and assumed a great deal of familiarity with you that he was not entitled to. If compelled to speak, comments on the road should be neutral encouragement (Allez, Allez!) or greetings (Hello). Otherwise stick to "On your left" or "Do you need help fixing that tube?"
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Old 07-11-05, 08:02 PM
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I can understand your anger and I'm right there with you. Good, bad, or indifferent, he made a value judgement and assumed a great deal of familiarity with you that he was not entitled to. If compelled to speak, comments on the road should be neutral encouragement (Allez, Allez!) or greetings (Hello). Otherwise stick to "On your left" or "Do you need help fixing that tube?"
Oh, please.
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Old 07-11-05, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by OPC
I can understand your anger and I'm right there with you. Good, bad, or indifferent, he made a value judgement and assumed a great deal of familiarity with you that he was not entitled to. If compelled to speak, comments on the road should be neutral encouragement (Allez, Allez!) or greetings (Hello). Otherwise stick to "On your left" or "Do you need help fixing that tube?"
Where's the fun in that ********************
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Old 07-11-05, 09:08 PM
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Some people don't always know what to say, but want to be friendly so they wind up saying something stupid. Big deal.
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Old 07-11-05, 09:20 PM
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I wouldnt take it as condesending, Im sure that the remarks were good natured and meant in that spirit.. Shoot this weekend I got hungup at an intersection and had to jump off my bike, I caught my shorts and the seat when I went to jump back on, nearly tripped and just duckwalked my bike across the street all the while looking rather foolish.. Two girls came buy on fat tire bikes and shot me an Are you OK?

Yes I said just had a charlie horse..As I sheepisly turned the other way...I think you got to take most comments at face value and not put malovalent motives behind them.. Now Im sure that those girls were not making fun of me were they??
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Old 07-11-05, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted by KevinF
I had a similar experience years ago. A female friend and I were doing about 80 miles in the Washington DC area. She rode slower then I usually do, so I was just keeping her company and giving her encouragement on the hills, etc. About 75 miles in, we were slowly spinning up yet another hill and some other rider passed us with a condescending shout of "looks like you bit off more then you can chew". Except I had a lot left in the tank so I just took off and reamed him out all the way to the top.
Lol owned. That was clearly a condescending remark.
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Old 07-12-05, 05:16 AM
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Uptight women need to get in touch with the humorous side...
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Old 07-12-05, 06:03 AM
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Old 07-12-05, 06:25 AM
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I've had that happen to me numerous times. You just have to learn to either take it as a joke or cry to mommy.
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Old 07-12-05, 06:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Barese Rider
I wouldnt take it as condesending, Im sure that the remarks were good natured and meant in that spirit.. Shoot this weekend I got hungup at an intersection and had to jump off my bike, I caught my shorts and the seat when I went to jump back on, nearly tripped and just duckwalked my bike across the street all the while looking rather foolish.. Two girls came buy on fat tire bikes and shot me an Are you OK?

Yes I said just had a charlie horse..As I sheepisly turned the other way...I think you got to take most comments at face value and not put malovalent motives behind them.. Now Im sure that those girls were not making fun of me were they??
They were probably laughing at you because you did look foolish but were kind enough to make sure you were alright and not laugh in your face

I tend to let comments that do not have a negitive overtone bother me and usually reply w/the same typ of comment back.

The most stupid statement I got one time was by a guy who writes for a MTB mag. My wife and I were riding up a very steep section (wife was walking and you could tell at the time she was a beginner) and this a**hole rides by and says, "Come on, I can ride all the way up this hill with 8" of travel on my bike." When I looked up at him he knew something was about to happen so he kicked into high gear and took off and I was not about to catch him on my 50lbs bike. If I ever do run into him (hopefully litteraly) again I will tell him what is on my mind.

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Old 07-12-05, 09:29 AM
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Gotta agree with the original poster. Gratuitous comments about riding style, no matter the motivation, are best kept unsaid. I've been riding for well over 15 years, have tens of thousands of miles in my legs, and it never fails that some solo will offer sage wisdom to increase my spin, "like Lance, man" or to increase the drop to my bars. I know that none of these are suggestions are meant to offend, but there are better ways to strike up a conversation.
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Old 07-12-05, 09:32 AM
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In reference to the OP's story... I'm pretty sure that the other cyclist meant the words as encouragement, I can certainly understand your annoyance at his faulty underlying stereotypes/assumptions. I do a fair amount of triathlon training and I get annoyed when I'm on a recovery pace ride or run and someone "encourages" me in a similar fashion. I suppose I should try to remove the corncob from my nether regions, but the darn bike saddle is in the way.

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