pstock

Feeling guilty this week as I surreptitiously added N+1 to the stable (but for eventual resale, I swear!) and the above question popped into my head.

If so, why or when?
If not, why not?

Wileyrat

Nope, and my wife would definitely notice another bike in the garage.

Machka 

Nope. I'd notice if Rowan brought another bicycle into the collection ... and wonder why I didn't have a new one as well.

WNCGoater

(Plants palm on forehead, not this stuff again...)

Why do I feel this has been inspired by the "Opposite Gender Cycling Friends" thread? And why do you seek answers to moral questions about spousal relationships on an internet forum.

If you're "feeling guilty" and need to ask the question then do you not already know the answer?
And you need to ask, "Is it okay to lie to your spouse?" ???

InOmaha

We're at the point in life where we only consult each other on major purchases. I won't lie to her, but I don't bother to fill her in if I found a $100 bike on Craigslist. She doesn't fill me in on exactly how much she spends on lots of misc. items.


So the dollar amount is the key. Not the physical item.

indyfabz

Subscribed.

mstateglfr 

Why would buying a bike be different from anything else?

Its our money- I dont lie about it. Thats Fd up to do.
At the same time, i dont tell her about every bike I buy. She typically notices eventually and fully supports my cycling hobby and my refurbish then sell hobby.

My wife and daughters ride...a horse. That thing is more expensive in 1 month than my hobby is in a year.
...but it isnt a competition.


It is unfortunate to see some people have to lie about purchases. Either they are spending irresponsibly, their spouse is unsupportive, or both.

wphamilton

It's never OK to lie about finances to your partner or spouse.

athrowawaynic

Also similar to the never-shopping-at-LBS-again thread.

That's not even a lie of omission, since the understanding basically amounts to tacit permission in advance.

TimothyH

We owe fidelity, honesty and sincerity to our spouses. These are theirs by right. To deny someone something which is theirs by right is an injustice. To lie to your spouse is an injustice.

There are times when someone doesn't have the right to know something. An adult asking a child if their parents are home is an example. A wife or husband may not have a right to know something confided by a friend. That's different from lying or withholding the truth from someone where it is their right.

If you are lying to your spouse about bikes then you have major problems in your marriage. Bikes are not the issue, only the symptom.


-Tim-

Hypno Toad

This ^^^^

The only time I could see not telling Lisa about a new bike purchase is if it's a gift for her. (I might do this to get us a nice tandem)

Cyclist0108

I just ordered a new seatpost for my 1987 Bianchi so I can have the correct set-back. However, I failed to get permission for this, so I am damned to a lifetime of saddle-sores.

indyfabz

I once lied to a partner to throw her off track that I was buying her a new bike for her birthday. Am I damned to hell for doing that?

Gresp15C

Once my daughter and I "hid" a bike in the back bushes. About a week later my spouse said: "Is there another bike back there?" We both burst out laughing because she had walked right past it several times, plus my daughter was constantly going back and forth across the lawn with tools. It was a bike that we got for 35 bucks from the thrift store.

But we're completely up front with one another about our hobbies. I mess around with old bikes. My spouse is a distance runner. The costs are pretty comparable.

I-Like-To-Bike

Are you a marriage counselor by profession, or is spouting off such advice to strangers just a hobby?

northtexasbiker

Unless your purchase is hurting the family why would your spouse care, and if it is hurting the family then you already know the answer. If you have a hobby of fixing up bikes and selling them even at a small loss, I doubt anyone's spouse cares that you continue that hobby. Then again I doubt many people are actually running at a small loss or breaking even when it comes to bike purchases. No one here knows your financial situation.

DrIsotope

I don't lie about bikes or bike-related purchases. I like to buy parts for my wife's bike and install them without telling her, to see if she notices. I've gradually replaced all of the Tiagra 4600 with Ultegra 6700 (except for the brakes, which are 5800s) and the only thing she noticed right away were the STis, because she actually used the little gear indicators on the 4600s.

jefnvk

Nope. We both have our own play money accounts, what we do with that money is our own business. Plus, as I generally have pictures up on Facebook within minutes of taking possession, it would really be hard to lie about anyhow.

Every now and then bikes that don't get ridden get disposed of, to make her happy, the complaints are more about space than money anyhow. If it is a flip anyhow, and she is mad, you've got deeper issues.

Phil_gretz

I voted no. You should never lie about small things to your spouse. It's okay to lie about big things, like bank robbery, murder and infidelity, though. This just takes common sense...

RonH

Never had to worry about lying to my wife. She's my #1 supporter and always tells me to get the good stuff and not be cheap, whether I'm buying cycling clothes, components or a new bike. Sometimes she goes with me and asks why I'm getting model X (which costs $$) when model Y seems nicer (and the price is $$$).

shelbyfv

Consider the source. The advice always comes with a heavy dose of smarmy smug. I do agree that you shouldn't lie to your spouse.

ksryder

I think it's OK to lie to *your* spouse about anything.

My spouse, on the other hand...

ksryder

Finally! A voice of reason!

Aahzz

I say no - I don't lie to my wife, because she's my partner and we signed up for this together. If your finances are such that you have available play money and can spend what you can afford on the things you want without causing hardship, you certainly shouldn't have to seek approval from your spouse, but if they're set up as fully combined finances, I'd say it warrants a discussion. Do as you will, but lying/hiding things from a life partner is never a good idea - with the exception that if it's to temporarily hide a gift for said partner (or some surprise of mutual benefit), it's expected.

General Geoff

Nope. I pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads, anything I do with the remainder of my own money is my business and I have no reason to lie about or conceal my purchases.