TechKnowGN

Which world champ?

TechKnowGN

Ive gained friends, but i dont feel ive lost any friends. I guess I never thought of myself as fat, even though i was and still am. So the friends i made, none of it was a food based friendships. Whether they were friends I made at work, or friends I made through being a hockey fan, or from playing hockey; I still am glad to have them as friends even if I dont see them that often (because we moved) or if im more active now. I write for a video game hardware and software review company, and I still play games, I just make sure i work out before i sit on my butt.

Neil_B

You did. You had your common humanity, and your friendship with each other.

Then again, if all your friendship was based on was video games, and that was taken away, I can see the relationship breaking. But it wasn't a strong relationship to begin with. Friendship that walks on a single plank isn't friendship.

Neil_B

As usual, I've stirred the pot a little. Here's some more:

I've had a friendship break because I lost weight. No, my former friend wasn't fat. But he was used to my being helpless and 400 pounds - he'd seen a chair collapse under me during a chess game in my apartment. He'd seen me waddle across a room. Chuck wasn't prepared to see me become mobile and lighter.

Note that I didn't decide to leave my friend behind. That was a choice HE made. I wouldn't have done it if the situation were reversed, because I can't see myself as deserving of friendship unless I'm a friend to others.

Mr. Beanz

Historian posted-----Then there's what we can call the "reformed smoker" way of thinking, where you find yourself looking down on people who have been less successful than you at weight loss. Some of the "losing friends" aspect could be this.

Not my case. Although I've been on the big side most of my life, I wasn't actually obese and I've always been very good in athletics. I've never really lost friends, I just chose to have one special friend and that's my wife. No reformed smoker attitude here.

nfmisso

Having always been somewhat of a loner; and I do not have seemed to have lost any friends since I started commuting (12 miles each way) by bike practically everyday. I have received many many positive comments/feedback on my 80 lbs loss. Weight loss is not my primary goal; it is to feel better. The last few months, my weight has plateaued, but my energy level/stamina has increased. My speed is also going up. That works for me

Some of the people I work with have said that I am inspiring them. One friend has gotten back into running, and did a half marathon earlier this year; and is planning his first full marathon this summer. I am not a runner, and he is not a bicyclist.

The latest development is the recent purchase of a Trek T50 tandem, which after a few minor changes when I get home; my wife and I will be start putting some miles on it

BHOFM

I am a very private person. A couple new friends.
I ride alone, or with the wife. Dropped over 70lbs
in a year, yes, it did change my life style. I can do
things I couldn't a year ago.

Learned a lot on the forums, and flipped a few
bikes.

Bike is a new part of my life, not my life. Sailing
is my life! Been at it for 62 years.

beatsrunning

For me it has changed my life for the better! I hope to leave my old life behind. The life of a lazy, overweight person! Both my wife and I made a commitment at the beginning of December last year to work towards being healthy and lose weight. Both of us joined Weight Watchers and started their plan. My wife also took up running. I have bad knees so running wasn't something that I could do. After thinking about it long and hard I decided to give cycling a try. I loved to ride as a kid. I had a heavy schwinn hybrid that I bought back when my oldest son was born (he's 6 now). I started by following my wife around our neighborhood as she ran. That progressed into bringing the whole family along, wife 6yr old and 3yr old. We are having such a good time as a family and getting good exercise. Both my wife and I have been amazed at how our lives have changed since we started. Used to be weekends were for sleeping in late and being lazy around the house. Now the weekends are spent getting out and getting exercise. If my wife doesn't have a race either she is out running, I'm riding or we're out as a family on the MUP. It's hard to believe that 6 months ago we would be driving somewhere and see the people out running, cycling, exercising and we would scoff and say "look at those healthy people, whats wrong with them!" Now we're one of them. Both of us have a long way to go and again, it is a commitment and lifestyle change but we're doing it together. Our last mini-vacation we went to Monterey. The first thing we did after getting checked into the hotel was head off on a bike ride. We were there for 3 days and each of those days we were out riding. We explored areas that we had never been to before and had a blast. As we were riding my wife made the comment that in all of the years that we had been coming here that we never knew the paths around the area existed. The sad thing is that we were never looking for them!

Doohickie

I think the joy, the weeeeee! factor, of cycling is enough.

Neil_B

I wasn't directing it at you, Beanz, or anyone in particular.

Mr. Beanz

I wasn't directing it at you, Beanz, or anyone in particular.

Oh ok. I wasn't sure, but I know what you mean.

Neil_B

Do you avoid parties, celebrations, weddings..... people eat a lot at those things. Where do you draw the line?

As for avoiding overeating because friends like to eat out.... well, it reminds me of some Jewish friends of mine who keep Kosher. They never avoided me out of fear they'd be unable to resist the siren call of a cheeseburger.

WonderMonkey

Biking has given me something that is easy to continue doing because I enjoy it. If I can break the habit of "being too busy" to exercise biking will help me achieve my health goals. It has not helped or hindered my confidence because it's not an issue but I am becoming better friends with a few people because they are getting out and riding with me and it gives us a chance to "hang out".

elessarcif

I guess I am a bit different then most on here. Biking as with all of my fitness interests has put a bit of a strain on my marriage. I am a fitness nut, my wife wishes I would relax more then I do. While it has never jeopardized my marriage it certainly has been a subject of contention. Currently I am in Afghanistan but at home I typically spend about 2 hours a night on the bike(depending on how I feel I might put in 3 or more hours). On the positive side though biking unlike running is not nearly as hard on my body. My biggest goal when I get back is to get my wife into biking so we can do it together.

Neil_B

That's another reason to not "dump and move on" - you never know when you can be a source of positive change by example.

Neil_B

Actually, it was a blessing. I have a much better idea who my friends are now, and who are cheerleaders. Anyone will be my friend when the weather is good.

Sayre Kulp 

Actually, we were very similar. We both led lethargic lifestyles, indulged in an abundance of comfort foods, listened to the same music, liked the same shows and movies and played video games together. When I lost weight and became more active, I didn't want to eat the same greasy comfort foods, sitting indoors all day wasn't fun anymore. I wanted to be outside. I watch very little TV these days and my Playstation gathers dust. When I adopted a very different lifestyle, we just didn't "fit" anymore. It's not that we're not still friends, it's just that with so little in common, we rarely see each other anymore. He's happy with the same 'ol, same 'ol, and I like my new lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that, but it illustrates how people can change and therefore grow apart, even if they don't abandon a friendship entirely.

callmeclemens

It's not that because of the positive you activley try to lose friends. But once again, much like sayre saying, my old friends; who like to play video games and sit inside, or drink and eat crappy food, don't want to do the things I do and nor do I what they.

Its simple, if they text asking me If I want to do something, and I tell them what I want to do I guarentee I wont get a text back.

Thats where the change has come from in my life.

callmeclemens

However, I have seen both sides.

A friend who did not ride last year is now riding with me in two centuries later in the year.

Neil_B

So you text them, and they ignore you? Then it sounds like they are making the call.

Neil_B

I think we are agreeing in our disagreement, Sayre. Do you stay in touch with your friend from time to time? If like you he was obese, or even super-obese, you can be a model of sorts.

Perhaps I got a little heated in reply to the OP's question and some follow ups, but some of the stuff about getting rid of friends because you've changed your life, or because their life changes, smacks of a cold utilitarianism. It reminds me of that silly book of a few years ago, The Secret. The author of the best-seller advised people who wanted to lose weight to not even LOOK at overweight people.

Neil_B

"Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house."

Aren't you glad that you could be that light, callmeclemens?

Seattle Forrest

Can you hang out with them after your ride? Or is it a matter of there not being enough hours in the day? If I push myself on long, hilly rides, I tend to want to relax and be sedentary for an hour or two while I recover.

Personally, I get anxious sitting indoors - cabin fever - so I don't have many friends with this sort of lifestyle to begin with.

Erwin8r

So are you trying to make valid points, or just keyboard jousting with everyone? Of course I don't avoid weddings, nor hide in a little corner of my cave... Weddings are not an everyday occurence--eating poorly is for many, and finding "comfort" in these types of indulgences is very common.

In my case, it is not a proactive desire to be rid of my friends, but rather, a natural occurrence when shared social environments are no longer the binding factor.

We can argue that these friendships were not "strong" to begin with, but I know that at the time, the strength of the friendship was not an active consideration for me. Again, your mileage may vary...

callmeclemens

(The texting situation works like This
Them: You want to do something this afternoon, grab some drinks or something?
Me: Thanks, but I'm gonna ride, you'remore than welcome to come.)

Time can be an issue, I work an awful lot. Just some people make the time and some don't