Broctoon

Polished silver rims + same for frame lettering = sah-weeeet!

the sci guy 

Today I took y'allz advice and cut 2cm off my stem

SquidPuppet

See? It wasn't too difficult, right? And the cut looks excellent.

the sci guy 

yeah but my arm got really tired

Unkle Rico

Today I am stressing about getting married in a few weeks. Planning stuff literally has sucked the life out of me

the sci guy 

and then it's over in a few hours and you won't remember half of it and you probably won't get to eat hardly any of the food you spent thousands of dollars on and carefully curated for the menu because you're too busy mingling and thanking people you've never met before and then you go back to your hotel room and are like 'yeah wedding night sex' but really you both collapse in bed dead.

then you wake up the next morning and and roll over and if you still smile, then it was worth it.

until you have kids

also getting married screws you on taxes

congrats!!

Unkle Rico

I find it funny in a weird way that almost everyone has laid out how the night will unfold just like you said.. Greeeeat!

Yea, the tax thing is going to suck for sure

the sci guy 

Yeah you'll soon realize the wedding is for everyone else, not for you. the only thing that matters to you is the lil piece of paper you sign that says you're legally married.

we did our wedding kind of unconventionally - which is pretty much just like us.
ceremony + reception at a small private lodge by a lake, on the really nice stone-laid patio, <100 guests, 10 minute customized non-denominational ceremony with Shinto undertones, no wedding parties, only best man/matron. Sigur Ros played in the background. No first dance alone together, we wanted everyone to dance with us (hate being on display). did mother/son, father/daughter dance at same time - again, with guests dancing. no best man/matron speeches, no garter/bouquet toss nonsense, we did cut a cake a small special cake, but served homemade cupcakes, we had horseshoes and croquet outside, along with pics with a flock of plastic pink flamingos. we didn't hire an expensive photographer, just had some cousins/friends take pics which was all we needed.
food was Dinosaur BBQ, and some specialty vegetarian sandwiches.
we had a blast.
we made our own invitations, and made a deal with the BBQ place to bring our own beer since our good friend worked for a beer distributor. part of the deal was they got to keep all the left over beer for themselves.

all told we spent <$6000 on everything.

and i wouldn't have changed a thing.

50voltphantom

I'm kinda regretting bidding on some black cranks in an auction that I'll probably win. Should've waited for silver.

SquidPuppet

What is this tax disadvantage you guys are talking about? "Married filing jointly" and "Married Head of Household" both reduce your federal tax rate.

the sci guy 

Maybe so, but not as much as when you're single, and not enough that it has helped us. This was the first time in 3 years we didn't have to pay, and it was only because of the interest on our mortgage.

we make just enough to be bumped into a higher bracket, but not enough to make up for the increase tax rate. even both claiming 0 and with addition money withheld we still owed ~3k in federal before putting in the mortgage interest.


on topic....Today the bars I ordered from Scrod are out for delivery so I am hoping they are waiting on the doorstep when I get home from work! Guess I should get some tape, too....

TejanoTrackie 

Don't worry, Donald Trump is going to cut your taxes.

seau grateau

Bigly.

TimothyH

I'm sorry you feel this way.

The first time I really felt like a man was when my first child called me "daddy." It was one of the greatest moments of my life.

My children are the greatest source of joy in my life, even when they don't do what I hoped or expected. Sure, they are lots of work and worry but so was I.


-Tim-

the sci guy 

i was mostly being facetious. mostly.

scoho

Oh, for sure. Which is kind of strange, since aside from like your parents, no one else really cares anyway. Your friends would probably rather hang out with you casually, and everyone else is totally just there out of obligation.

Sounds great! Fun and responsible.

I don't often say this, but folks should consider borrowing a page out of the Korean book on this one. Everyone brings cash instead of gifts, and after the meal you use that cash to pay the venue. (In theory any leftover money is yours to keep, but in practice most of it goes to your in-laws because reasons.) I'll never understand the practice of spending money you can't afford to throw a party no one wants. The gap between what people expect when they're planning the wedding versus what they actually get for all that stress and expense would make the Grand Canyon blush.

Mumonkan

Mexican weddings have a similar bent

After the ceremony the bride goes around thanking everyone carrying her shoe and guests fill it with money

The groom dances with his homies in a special white shirt, and his best man carries around pins, his homies pin money to his shirt

The money is generally to pay for the mariachi, most everything else wouldve been brought from the families, food, booze etc

-

First time i saw this was a week after i was at a traditional Roman Catholic wedding for some young ginzos like ive always seen, and no one (including bride and groom) gave a **** about anything but getting drunk and free food.

The Mexican wedding was full of awesome vibes, food was 1000000% better, and everyone enjoyed being in an awesome celebration about two people, it went on all night

Quite a polar difference. Its pretty interesting to see what different cultures put value on

Unkle Rico

I am thankful to say that this is by no means a ****** wedding, so the cost isn't what is stressing me -- its just all the other crap that goes along with having a wedding i suppose.

I love my lady and we're a good mix of weird and whacky

hardboiled718

Except at Korean weddings the amount or cash given is meticulously recorded and the assumption is you will pay back the same amount at a later date. It's kind of like a loan. Also at a traditional Korean wedding the sop is to invite anyone and everyone you know to rake in the dough. btw this is in no way intended to be a dis to Korean culture and of course not all Koreans abide by these traditions, but if you've been to a Korean wedding, which it sounds like you have, you know what I mean.

Anyway I agree that spending money beyond your means for a wedding is going overboard. Keep it simple, friends and family who actually want to be there. It should be a special and fun event, maybe a little stress, but hopefully worth it in the end.

and congrats Unkle Rico

SevenOneEight

Some people spend a lot of money on weddings and some people spend a lot of money on bikes.

scoho

You're right, but I think the de facto loan system makes a lot of sense: much better to, in essence, pay for your wedding (via attending acquaintances' weddings with cash) little by little over the course of your adult life than to pay for it (or, god forbid, go into debt for it) all at once right as you're embarking on your married life. I much prefer it to the American tradition of buying a bunch of shiz that the couple doesn't really need or want anyway, which still leaves the couple on the hook for the wedding bill (as the giver will be when it comes time for his/her own wedding).

scoho

That sounds like a blast!

Korean weddings aren't actually fun. They're just more financially responsible. (Unless you're trying to show off your [real or supposed] wealth, in which case they can give the most lavish American weddings a run for their money. But most normal folk can and do avoid this.)

the sci guy 

We used a website where people could donate money to our honeymoon as our requested gift/registry. We'd lived together for 3 years already and didn't have a house so the usual registry stuff was pointless.

Today I finally watched Dr Strange. I also decided that my goal is to be a manager or director level in 5 years.
Or win he lotto. Whichever comes first.

johnnytheboy

i went to a wedding in austin this past weekend....most ceremonies i've been to are so lame. also, fairly religious. reading a bible verse to your future wife to prove your love to her seems stupid to me. it always just solidifies my anti-religion point of view.

Unkle Rico

Yea, im not a fan of the bible stuff either -- sooooo we aren't doing anything like that at all.