ripa

My mom was diagnosed with cancer in or around the summer of 2004. When they found it, she was really bad off. For several years she had all the symptoms but the doctors never put all the clues together. I’m not bitter about that, it is what it is.

When she found out she was sick, she cried a little and got mad at her cancer a lot. She told all of my siblings she was going to fight his disease and she was going to win. I believed her, heck…she was my mom, she was always right. She changed her diet and started to keep a log of everything she did. What she ate, her exercise and sleep patterns and all her medications went in to her log book. She went to all her doctors appointments and did everything she was told. She began to read anything and everything that related to her treatments and cancer in general. Some of it was helpful and some not, but she studied it all the same.

As she moved along in the process and the cancer started to gain the upper hand she was placed on a pretty demanding treatment schedule that involved tremendous amounts of chemo therapy. These treatments would make her terrible sick and she lost so much weight. Between treatments they gave her other medications that had nasty side effects. Some of the medications would make her gain weight and make her look bloated all the time. She would sea-saw back on forth during these weight loss and weight gain periods for months it seemed. She never lost hope or the will to fight. She was terribly strong.

During her battles I would visit, as would my other nine siblings and see how she was doing as well as take her on errands or to her appointments for treatments. During my visits we would talk about her childhood. My mother’s family came to the United States from Ireland. She was born in the Bronx, NY just before WWII began. Her family then moved back to Ireland after the war where she grew up for the most part. They again moved back to the states when she was just becoming a young woman. She met my father one day while working in NY. They fell in love married and then moved to Texas.

She spoke to me often of her days as a child in Ireland and how she wanted to go back there and ride her bike. We made a promise that she and I along with one of my brothers would make a trip back, just the three of us and we would ride around the same places she did when she was growing up. We all looked forward to that day. These talks gave her hope and gave us something to talk about other than her cancer.

My mother passed away on a Saturday. I was not with her when she died. I was traveling for work. It took an entire day to get home. It was the longest day of my life. My mom left my brother and me a note. In it she said just two things. “I love you…please finish the ride for me….Mom.” That’s when I became a cyclist.

I bought my first bike the winter of 2006 just a few months after she past and I began to train like never before. I had a promise to keep. My brother had been riding for over 10 years so he was way ahead of me. I had a lot to learn. We planed on completing the promise this summer and were talking about shoring up the plans one day on the phone when he said he had to go but would call me back. My brother called back a few days later and told me we needed to make the trip soon. I asked him why and he told me he was sick…I didn’t understand. He then told me he had cancer.

He began treatments in January of this year to help reduce the tumor in his brain. He lived three to four hours away in a small Texas town, during his visits to the hospital he would stay with my family or with some of my other brothers and sisters. We continued to make plans to complete our trip to Ireland. On one of his visits he saw a picture I have on my PC of 55/RADS chrome Pinarello. He fell in love. It gave me an idea. I began to look for a bike that we could build up together something that he could look forward to besides his treatments. I found a bike just like RAD’s but was out bid on eBay. I contacted the lucky winner (BF member aka: Mariner Fan) and asked him if he would part with his new find. He considered it and we worked out an agreement. With the help of RAD (who also made an unbelievably generous offer that I will not go into here) and Mariner Fan we were well on our way to building a special bike my brother could be proud of. All this talk and planning gave him hope and it sure brightened up his days.

Work took me away for three days again when the phone rang. My wife said that my brother was having some challenges and was in the hospital, this time not for his normal treatments. When I returned I went to see him and he had aged almost overnight. The chemo was not working and the tumor was growing at an alarming rate. His doctors recommended that he have surgery to remove the tumor before it could cause any additional damage. He agreed that this was the best plan and arrangements were made. Just before he went in for surgery he told me not to give up because he wasn’t and to remember we had a promise to keep. He said he had decided that we should build out an old Colnago that would rival RAD’s Pinarello and he could not wait to get started. He told me he could see the bike we were going to build and man was she pretty and lord was she fast! After ten hours of surgery the doctors came out to tell us they were done.

My brother died on a Tuesday. We laid him to rest on St. Patrick’s Day, fitting I think. He fought for three days but he was just so very tired. Like my mom had done before he left me a note. It simply said; “Never give up. I can see that bike and man is she pretty and lord is she fast! Finish it up and complete the ride…we have a promise to keep.”

I will keep the promise we made and travel to Ireland to complete the ride. Both my mom and my brother will be with me. I bought an old Colnago on eBay and as I build out the bike I know I will need help and advice. I really have no clue about what I’m doing but I know it will be special. I want to thank 55/RAD and Mariner Fan for their time and generosity. I could never repay them for their kindness and the hope they gave my brother.

I do have other thing to say…I hate cancer.

voltman

No words, except best wishes to you.

botto 

condolences.

UTmtnbiker

Wow. Powerful. Brought a tear to my eye just reading this story.

Good luck and best wishes.

8Lives

Your courage in fulfilling that promise is an inspiration.

Little Darwin

My condolences to you on two tragedies in your family in such a short time, and I wish you well on your ride. I have no doubt that it will be memorable.

rog

I just remembered that my mundane problems are no big deal at all. My deepest condolences.

heddywouldgo

+1

A very moving story. I'll be cheering for you to complete that ride

donrhummy

I hate cancer too. I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope your trip is successful. Please keep us posted on your progress.

avmanansala

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that time heals your wounds and you find comfort in the memories you shared.

HWS

Damn...

dagna

I am so sorry. I'm glad they will be riding with you in Ireland, and I suspect they'll watch over the bike build, too.

I hate cancer, too.

GuitarWizard

Wow....good luck with everything.....

Hammertoe

My heartfelt condolences....

Life is something to be cherished...

Enjoy your ride...

Your Mom and Brother will always be with you....

biker7

My 75 year old beloved Mom had cancer last year. After treatment she is clean but cancer is such an insidious disease. I try to think what the world would be like without her positive spirit and it is hard.
My girlfriend and best friend's Mom's died of it recently...both wonderful ladies.
I wish you the very best and ride that bike in their memory.
George

slowandsteady

ugh....My mother died in 1993 of ovarian cancer. It is why I became a scientist. Not that it helps your mother or brother, but I and my colleagues work very hard so that hopefully no one else has experience what my poor mother did and so many others. Many of us have personal experiences with cancer and don't ever forget the anguish. My thoughts are with you.

twahl

It's inspiring to know that your family is so close that they can give you so much inspiration even when they are no longer with you. We'll all be thinking of you, and looking forward to hearing the report of your ride.

c_bake

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot quench the spirit.

Mcurrier1241

I know your pain my friend, I also lost my brother to cancer. He was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 9. The treatments worked and he was fine until the summer before his 18th birthday. The cancer came back and he fought strong, he died in my fathers arms at the hospital 7 years ago. He was an avid mountain biker, we bought him a black marble gravestone with a picture of him riding his bike engraved on it, it is beautiful.

cuda2k

Sorry to hear of your losses. My deepest condolences. I hope you finish the ride for them both. Keep their memories close, for nothing can ever take that away from you. I had my own, all too close brush with cancer when I was 18. Thankfully it was caught early, and was on the skin, but something like that changes a person forever. At first I was scared, then worried, timid about life. It took several years before I took grasp of my future back from that fear. I wish you the best, where ever the road takes you.

blonduathlongrl

Big hug.

yairi

I'm with you. I lost my mother to cancer last year, almost a year ago now. Still feels like yesterday.

You must finish that ride.

cslone

Sorry for your losses. I can't imagine what that's like.

powerglide

I am very sorry for your loss.
Best Regards,
-Tom

Ih8lucky13

I was in a bad funk today, then I read your story. Even though it is a tragedy, that you lost your mother and brother to this dreadful disease, the love that you shown to your brother and mom, and the generosity of Rad and Mariner Fans brought back my level of faith in humanity.


Thank you for sharing this story.


My codolences on your loss.