jpescatore

For me it is a tie between:

1. A bee flew into me while I was riding on a local path and fell down into my shirt (with many people around.) I once had an allergic reaction to a bee sting, was supposed to carry and epipen around but had stopped doing so. I came to a halt, tried to get the bee out of my shirt - but, of course, I was clipped in, fell over - into the grass on the downhill side (better than falling the other way onto the path, I guess.) and rolled down the hill a bit while beating at my chest - much to the amusement of everyone staring at me.

2. Same trail (Anacostia Trail outside DC) but in downtown Washington DC on a ride with my wife. She had a fall from her bike a few years ago, broke her shoulder and is very wary of slippery spots, so I usually ride a bit ahead and warn her - yes, essentially "mansplaining." I was warning her of big gaps in the pavement ahead going along the direction of travel and, of course, got my front wheel stuck in one. We were doing less than 10mph at that point, so I had a very slow motion crash and cleverly saved my bike from damage by making sure my left knee stayed between the bike and the pavement - much blood flow and a fine road rash souvenir ensued.

Kat12

I believe this is a good place to pull out a quote from my ex's mom, her response to his brother's story about a kid he was on a bike tour with in France, who bailed out and landed in a cow pie. Now, I can't remember if he then mentioned extensive cleaning of the wounds, an infection, a hospital stay, or what, but her remark was, "Cows are not sterile critters." I haven't a clue why I thought that was funny enough that it stuck with me, but it was the first thing I thought of when you mentioned missing skin covered in cow pie...



But we want to know... did the bee get you or not?? (I assume not, as you don't mention another allergic reaction, but...)

Bill in VA

Amen!!! I was riding a brand new bike which had the old bike's SPD pedals. I had only briefly used the SPDs at the very end of the prior season, when my sister said I should go clipless after 35 years. It happened during an emergency stop when a pickup ran a stop sign. As I was falling, I was thinking of all the drivers laughing and saying look at that guy he is tipping over. My wife who was following said I was braking hard with one hand and reaching down out of habit to loosen the toeclip strap with the other. I just tucked in and landed on my shoulder because I did not want to scratch the paint... Unclipping when horizontal was even harder. After 2 years of SPDs I went back to toe clips, more for shoe flexibility. I still have the SPD pedals for longer more remote riding.

jpescatore

The bee did not get me, but later that summer while mowing our lawn, a wasp did get me - it was painful but no allergic reaction.

The one time I had the reaction I had been riding a motorcycle and something stung me in the neck and luckily I stopped soon after, saw what my arms and face looked like, got back on the motorcycle, drove to the emergency room - which had a long line on a Saturday night.

They loooked at me when I joined the line, said "Hey, you - come up here" and took my blood pressure. It was crazy low and they rushed to give me steroids or whatever they do.

Doctor later said that incident may have gotten venom directly in neck artery, caused the reaction - but that may have triggered development of antibodies.

50PlusCycling

My most embarrassing crash resulted in my having to find a towel to wrap around myself, as my shorts were torn off and shredded too much to put back on.

jaxgtr

not me, but my brother back in the early 70's, he was on one of those awesome center line 3 speed gear shift chopper bikes and was jumping over a home made ramp that would put him about 2 ft over the road. When he landed front wheel first, he slipped forward on the awesome banana seat, racked himself on the center shifter, and then lost control and then he hit the neighbors car ripping off the side mirror with his head.....there were 7 other kids in the hood watching this feat of awesomeness. We laughed, we cried, we regaled the story of the flying chopper for many days after to anyone that would listen to explain the 14 stitches, broken nose, and black eye. He was the hero we needed at that time.

And I might say, mom was pissed as she had to pay for that mirror and getting the door fixed. Never saw that chopper again.


This was the bike

KPREN

Not me but when I was a kid, the neighbor kid ran smack dab into the side of the local once a day train that was stopped and temporarily blocking the main intersection in a town of 1,800 people. He broke his arm. There were plenty of people helping. He was the son of a prominent local business owner.

2_i 

If we turn to the crashes by others, I have this very talkative friend. To avoid going berserk, I ride behind him enough so that the words become indiscernible. He just needs the presence of someone to talk and everybody is happy. We go down a small street. While it is legal to park there, it is not common. This day there is a car parked there. The friend is immersed in his talking and from his trajectory I begin to sense what is coming. I start yelling from behind to watch out for the car. It makes no difference and he blasts at a full speed into the trunk of the parked car in broad daylight.

pennpaul

I thought of one and then another and then another so too many to choose from.

cyccommute 

Two:

I ran into the back of a Plymouth Horizon in front of the White House while attending an American Chemical Society meeting in DC sometime in the 90s. This was back when the was still traffic on Pennsylvania. I was gawking and didn’t see the car in front of me. I left a thigh sized dent in the hatch. I muttered something like “Sorry,” and quickly rode away.

The second one was on a bike ride I used to lead that I called “Urban Dirt” for the Denver Bicycle Touring Club. I usually lead these in the early spring in town because there’s too much snow higher up. This one was in March and was along Cherry Creek. It’s a lot more challenging than most people thing. Not because the ride is steep or rock but it is in the trees. There was one tricky bit where you had to quickly lean out over a undercut bank of the creek so that your handlebars will clear a tree that leaned towards the creek. As soon as your handlebar cleared the tree, you had to lean back away from the creek to keep the line. I’d done the trail many times without issue.

This particular time, I leaned away from the tree and back like always but my timing was off just a tiny bit. My handlebar hit the tree and it bounced me back towards the creek, I feel on my back into about 3’ of ice cold water. I remember seeing the after close in around me and then jumping up taking a big gasp. Man, was it cold!

If it wasn’t bad enough to have fallen into th creek as the ride leader, there happened to be a March of Dimes Walk-a-thon on the same day on the paved path uphill from the creek. One of the walkers saw be jumping back up out of the creek and asked “Did you mean to do that?” Oh, yeah. Sure. I just jump into creeks in March for fun!

Worse yet, I had to ride the rest of the ride dripping wet...in March!

Darth Lefty 

I’ve told this story here before. In 7th grade I was riding no hands carrying two Super Soakers for a drive-by shootup of my friend’s yard. Made it about a block before walking home with a broken collarbone

Sorcerer

About 13 years ago at a special permitted camping event where people camp on the side of a dirt road where you usually can't, said people, one of them being me, are having breakfast sitting in camp chairs having coffee and relaxing before the days activities and might have an eye on the slightly downhill road on a brisk morning, I decide to ride casually down the road with no helmet, coasting at around 7 mph, no hands, because it is cold they are I'm the pockets.

Well the front wheel hits an unseen pebble and switches the handlebars and I'm instantly doing an endo.

Somehow in what must have looked like a rapid Groucho Marx move i stepped over the bars and rapidly speed walked out of it.

I was effing lucky I did not faceplant.

I'll never ride with my hands in my pockets ever again!!!

ChrisWagner

Years ago while visiting a friends home, one of their kids had a cheap bike and gave me permission to take it for a spin. While attempting to revisit trials riding in their back yard, the front wheel taco-ed and sent me over the bars only to have a tree interrupt my landing. I became the entertainment. No harm except to the wheel which I gladly replaced.

Xyzyxzyg

Casually riding, at nearly walking pace, in my downtown food and entertainment area. Very flat streets on a Sunday afternoon.
Saw the most beautiful woman walking with the most graceful stride. She was like a Greek goddess.
That's when my front tire hit the curb, I flipped over the bars, and landed on my feet.
And nobody was watching. Wish someone had been recording so I could watch it.

Retro Grouch 

It was in the days before clipless pedals. I was wearing toeclips and straps with shoe cleats while riding with my 5 year old son through the neighborhood. As I rode up to say hi to a friend, I realized that I was still securely clipped in and did a slow motion topple over. Then I had trouble figuring how to get unclipped while laying on my side.

The next time that I asked my son to go riding with me, he first asked me which shoes I was going to wear.

urbanknight

Finishing a ride, the little bump of my driveway threw my chain into the spokes and stopped the bike dead in its tracks. I had already taken my helmet off and had it hanging on my handlebar. The helmet was wrecked protecting the handlebar.