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Funny heckling

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Old 11-04-18, 06:33 PM
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livedarklions
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Funny heckling

For the first time ever, someone yelled something out of an SUV that made me laugh. I started my ride this morning when it was just under 40 degrees with a 10 mph headwind, so I was wearing thin sweat pants with cargo shorts over them, full finger gloves, and a rather unattractive jersey/jacket over a long sleeve t shirt. My appearance was definitely function over form.
So, this guy in a SUV going the other way yells out his window at my gray-haired weirdly dressed self "Hey, sexy!". I know it's an insult, but it's just a really good one in the context, so I kind of cracked up.

So, my question is this: Has anyone else had something funny yelled at them while riding? Please no stories about the umpteenth time someone yelled" get off the road" or your witty response to that. Up to now, everything that has ever been yelled at me has been idiotic, so I want to know if there's more than one guy who's actually good at it.
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Old 11-04-18, 07:05 PM
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I haven't been heckled too much personally but I love coming up on other riders on the long climbs and say "are we there yet?" Usually good for a laugh.
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Old 11-04-18, 07:25 PM
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While at a stop, I've been told I should wear spandex. The person happened to be someone I onced worked indirectly with.
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Old 11-04-18, 08:16 PM
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Chatted to some VP of DuPont who was holidaying downunder.

He offered to pay me NOT to wear Lycra
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Old 11-04-18, 08:36 PM
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They could have been calling you sexy? People have all sorts of fetishes these days and maybe grey sweatpants is the new mankini

I had a car of people yell "ROADIE" at me once while I was dressed in non cycling clothes on my touring bike to pick up groceries in winter. That as far as I can think was the funniest thing that has been said. Had one guy say I wasn't allowed on the road and he kept going down from there but that ended with me running home to get another bike to chase (this happened super close to my house) because he was a private car service and thought he might be going nearby but didn't and I ended up getting some tasty onion rings instead. Way better outcome.
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Old 11-04-18, 09:29 PM
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I had a couple of girls in a convertible yell out “nice ass” As I was standing going up a hill in a beach town.

Last edited by cb400bill; 11-05-18 at 05:09 AM. Reason: you can say ass
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Old 11-04-18, 09:32 PM
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At least they said 'nice' before it
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Old 11-04-18, 09:36 PM
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Had a guy yell "get on the sidewalk" when we were on a fairly desolate rural road with the nearest sidewalk being maybe 10 miles away. At least I assumed he was making a joke.
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Old 11-04-18, 11:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Bmach
I had a couple of girls in a convertible yell out “nice a??” As I was standing going up a hill in a beach town.
"nice, a??"

Commas. Gotta hate 'em.
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Old 11-04-18, 11:58 PM
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"get off the road ******"

Last edited by cb400bill; 11-05-18 at 05:11 AM. Reason: dont change spelling to bypass censored words
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Old 11-05-18, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Elvo
"get off the road ******"
Did you run over his bundle of sticks?

Last edited by cb400bill; 11-05-18 at 05:11 AM. Reason: clean up
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Old 11-05-18, 12:56 AM
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"They went that way, Lance!" from an Explorer full of teens.

I was on a MTB and wearing non-bike t-shirt and shorts and sandals, not doing any great speed, just tooling along in the bike lane.
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Old 11-05-18, 01:45 AM
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While waiting by the side of the road for a friend to catch up, two of us got passed by a pick up truck with mountain bikes on the back, at which point the passenger yelled "Get a real biiiiiiike!" We had a good chuckle out of that one

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Old 11-05-18, 01:49 AM
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I kinda enjoy the trash-talkers and hecklers. Breaks up the monotony of some errand and commute rides.

I've had several offers to race. A few folks asked if I was cold, riding in winter. Mostly harmless stuff.

Some remarks come from street people who are often schizophrenic. One of 'em I used to see often, Wayne, was severely schizophrenic and occasionally unpredictable. He dragged around a full sized cooler on a rolling cart, with his food, beer, etc., mostly riding the bus, hanging out at bus stops along a 5 mile stretch of boulevard. He thought he saw demons and pointed to ordinary people and declared they were disguised demons, and he'd go into lurid detail about what they did to their victims, including his family. I used to stop and chat with him occasionally, until he decided I was a demon too. Last time I saw him, at a bus stop, I called out "Hi, Wayne!" He yelled "G*ddam Communist!" That was over a year ago. Haven't seen him since. He was losing weight, had fewer possessions other than the demons, and no longer towed that rolling cart and cooler. Rough life.

Funniest was the guy doing yard work who hollered "Hey, hippie!" It mostly struck me as funny because he was the spitting image of Joe Dirt, mullet and all.

Last edited by canklecat; 11-05-18 at 01:53 AM.
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Old 11-05-18, 04:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Tamiya
Chatted to some VP of DuPont who was holidaying downunder.

He offered to pay me NOT to wear Lycra
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Old 11-05-18, 04:30 AM
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Can't think of an incident when I was on my bike. But I cycled to an audiology appointment at our local hospital a couple of weeks back wearing my lycra tights and gear (it's not that local). When I entered the audiology department I held the door for an elderly Asian lady who was wearing a head scarf. As she went by she said 'Nice pins!'. Because of the head scarf I'd just assumed she was a Moslem so I was definitely not expecting that. I was so taken aback I didn't know what to say, but it did give me a good laugh. I suppose 40+ years of cycling has given me pretty good pins.
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Old 11-05-18, 06:03 AM
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Originally Posted by jgwilliams
Can't think of an incident when I was on my bike. But I cycled to an audiology appointment at our local hospital a couple of weeks back wearing my lycra tights and gear (it's not that local). When I entered the audiology department I held the door for an elderly Asian lady who was wearing a head scarf. As she went by she said 'Nice pins!'. Because of the head scarf I'd just assumed she was a Moslem so I was definitely not expecting that. I was so taken aback I didn't know what to say, but it did give me a good laugh. I suppose 40+ years of cycling has given me pretty good pins.
you've lost me; pins?
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Old 11-05-18, 06:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Troul
you've lost me; pins?
Legs.
I guess that's a UK only expression?

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pins

Last edited by jgwilliams; 11-05-18 at 06:06 AM. Reason: Added definition from urban dictionary.
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Old 11-05-18, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Elvo
"get off the road ******"
It's been awhile but generally whenever I hear that one they seem to suggest the road is copulating. I think that's pretty humorous.
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Old 11-05-18, 07:48 AM
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I had a pickup truck slowly pass me on a rolling country road in twilight. The passenger said, "on your left" as they passed.
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Old 11-05-18, 08:07 AM
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while climbing a long hill on my commute home a car load of girls shouted "woohoo, keep going, you can do it!" gave me a smile & chuckle
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Old 11-05-18, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Phil_gretz
I had a pickup truck slowly pass me on a rolling country road in twilight. The passenger said, "on your left" as they passed.
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Old 11-05-18, 08:58 AM
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Once on a group ride, we were slowly approached by a caravan of cars. (We were doing 20, the cars were doing about 25) In the caravn was a British gentleman in an right hand drive Austin Healy convertible with the driving gloves, driving hat, sunglasses, the whole bit. When he gets next to us he yells: Help! I'm on the wrong side!"

It was pretty funny. It was only a little while later I thought doubly so because of the triple meaning...side of the road, wrong side of the car, wrong side of the pond, etc...
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Old 11-05-18, 09:14 AM
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A pedestrian on an MUP yelled "on your left" at me Saturday while I was passing on her left. I assume she wanted a verbal warning from me as I was passing.

Last month a passenger in a car yelled something indecipherable out the window. I don't mind the yelling, but the car purposefully passing within a few inches from the end of my handle bar was not appreciated.
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Old 11-05-18, 09:22 AM
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Coasting down a steep hill in my best aero tuck, a pedestrian yells "Go Eddy, Go". Bike was orange & I was wearing a white cycling cap with no helmet. Had to be a cyclist who didn't feel like scolding me. Don
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