holytrousers

Tomorrow evening i am going to meet a couple of friends that i haven't seen for a long time and they are bringing some alcohol to celebrate.
The problem is that they are going to drive back home afterwards and having already had a similar situation that ended up with a fight, i don't know how to deal with it this time.
Most people seem to become more confident after drinking and claim to know their limits but the problem is that they are endangering not only their own lives, but the lives of everyone else on the road, cyclists, pedestrians and other drivers.
I tried to explain that to the friend i had a fight with.. and he left without a word after me saying it is immature to think that one can know one's limits after drinking alcohol because alcohol is already distorting the appreciation of the state of mind.
i don't want to spoil the meeting, i can have fun and enjoy the company without drinking alcohol, but i don't think i will be able to ignore the problem. The society i live in is mostly muslim and those who drink lack clearly a culture of drinking.
Any advice ?

Rick

I had a difficult time being around people who drank and did drugs in the military. I didn't tolerate it. They were constantly on me trying to get me to join in. I know how I felt about it but can only imagine how you feel.

Shimagnolo

"Alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify not taking."
-- from "The Naked Mind", by Annie Grace

In my misspent youth, I tried an assortment of drugs, and was around people doing even more.
Of all the drug use I observed, I never saw a drug that was as mentally and physically debilitating, or caused as violent behavior, as ethanol.

ro-monster

The only thing I can suggest is to insist on meeting them somewhere that is so close to home they can walk instead of driving. Or to go somewhere that you can't bring alcohol.

Hondo Gravel

I only drink while hanging out in the back yard under some oak trees. Seen too many alcohol related tragedies and avoidable problems. I’ll have a few beers then hit the sack at home.

calamarichris

Your best bet is to offer to pick them up and drive them home, if that's an option. Either that, or encourage them (while they're sober) to take an uber or other option. With Uber and Lyft, there's really no excuse for drinking and driving.

If you don't like hanging out with drinkers, find new friends who don't drink. I quit drinking about a year and a half ago (no DUIs or addiction, just decided I prefer the clarity and health benefits.) I'm astounded at how much US culture centers around booze. Waiters are actually startled when I only order water or an Arnold Palmer, 3-4 entire aisles of every supermarket are dedicated to alcohol, and some supermarkets here even have bars in them now. 8| I still hang out with my drinking friends, and they provide an occasional reminder of why I'm happier not drinking.

When I quit drinking, I was careful not to judge anyone who drinks, saying "It's a personal choice, not a social agenda." My family appear to espouse the backward belief that not drinking is a sign of weakness or lower moral character, but the flaw in that logic is self-evident.

CliffordK

You can ask your friends to either come by bus. Or, carpool in a pickup. Toss your bike in the back of their pickup, and drive them home.

Bike Friday or Compact Folder?

KraneXL

Being the prudent one means you can't always be the friend. You need to chose one. If i couldn't take to them then I'd passively protest and decline the invitation.

CliffordK

If one drinks, say 1 beer in 3 hours, then one may well be just fine. Just don't let that be 2 or 3, or maybe a half dozen.

However, pretty much all of my current acquaintances have a zero tolerance for driving intoxicated. Essentially ZERO alcohol in the last 10 hours or so before getting behind the wheel (and even any alcohol the night before would be in moderation). Designated drivers?

Brocephus

It's unclear what "some" alcohol means. Are they only bringing a few beers or just a bottle of wine, or a keg of beer and a 1/2 gallon of Jack Daniels ? There's drinking, and then there's.......drinking.
Also, it sounds like a "fight" is only going to start, if you insist on standing on some supposed moral high-ground, and make an issue of it.
So, some adults are planning to consume a little alcohol at a reunion of friends. Big deal. While it may not be ideal in some ways, it probably ain't the end of the world, either.
I would suggest you get over it, and not let it derail your visit with your old friends.

KraneXL

Except that he's not standing on moral ground Muttley, he's exercising great wisdom and concern for his friends and other around them. As he stated, your drunken stupor doesn't just effect you but others around you that have the misfortune of coming in contact with you while you're under the influence. Not to mention he could also end up in jail on a DUI since riding a bike drunk carries the same penalty as driving while intoxicated.

jon c. 

I don't tell others how to live their lives. Works for me.

KraneXL

You sure about that? Before you wax too PC think about it for a moment. What happens when their behavior encroaches onto your territory?

Brocephus

While I fully grasp the concept of one person's actions affecting others, the OP can't live other people's lives for them, or enforce their views on other adults, regardless of how well intentioned. Also, the OP appears to be in Africa, so I highly doubt anyone is being viciously pursued and prosecuted with a DUI for riding a bike after drinking.

jon c. 

That strikes me as an odd use of the term. Rather stands the entire concept on its head. But I suppose after a time these nebulous quasi political slights come to mean simply "anything I don't agree with."

I-Like-To-Bike

But likely to have insult and accusation of drunken stupor thrown at him by some pseudo Temperance Movement character who thinks anything he believes and posts is the "proven" essence of great wisdom.

Notso_fastLane

That's pretty much what laws are (or should be). It's a the set of rules that others (all of us, really) are supposed to live by in order to, well, live.

The average person can handle ~1 drink/hour, but it varies widely. I will have not more than a single drink if I have to drive home, and I will always wait at least 30 mins or so after I've finished my drink. It's always nice to just sit and relax after dinner or something anyway.

I won't even have a single drink if I'm on my motorcycle, unless there's a good 3 hours window after.

MikeyMK

It's not your problem.

It's not for you to tell someone how to wipe their arse.

Incidentally... Here, if you bring four beers and drink them over the course of six hours, you're probably under the limit when you drive home. If you stay a couple hours before driving, you're good for a fifth.

Personally i think any alcohol before driving is a daft idea, and it's playing with fire. But the biggest problem is that it can bite you even if you're under the limit - if anything happens, if it's someone else's fault, and you're under the limit, the local press and social media will still say you had 'drank alcohol'.

Stadjer

I'm from drinking culture myself and quite fond of the stuff, both for the taste and the effects on the state of mind. A real drinking culture, where it's woven into the social fabric, has the unpleasant tendency to make people justify why they are not drinking. But a proper drinking culture also comes with social norms in drunk behaviour. DUI has been 'not done' for decades with only a few exceptions, small social circles of usually men that have developped their own values in an atmosphere full of testosteron, can be a rural bar crowd with a lot of petty criminal records, but also sales and marketing men with company BMW's and Audi's with lots of mileage.

It's not circles I'm part of. Imo you have to share some values to be friends, especially concerning alcohol if you drink with your friends those values concern alcohol. People who drive, get aggressive or harass women when drunk can't stay my friends. Intoxication is no excuse to misbehave. I don't preach to my friends and I don't like to be preached to, but that's different from drawing the line somewhere.

I'm completely fine with drunk or otherwise intoxicated cycling. It's not dangerous to others and it keeps people from DUI, while keeping that lovely drinking culture alive. Have a drink, take the bike, I've done that myself many times and drinking to the level that you can't ride a bike anymore is too much to be fun anyway.

livedarklions

OP is in a country infamous for bad roads. I don't know if that matters, but I won't be trying to give advice here because there's too many unanswered questions about the amount of drinking involved, and I've never been to Tunisia.

I do think that people chastising the OP for some form of puritanism are really off the mark here. I don't care if other people drink and understand that is not my business, but if they then drive, it actually becomes my business as well as the business of everyone who might be on the roads at that time. I also really don't want to watch my friends setting themselves up for getting arrested and/or hurt. Again, I don't know the amount of alcohol involved here, but I might very well refuse to socialize with someone in a context in which they are making it clear they intend to behave in a blatantly hazardous manner. It's not a moral judgment on them or a relationship-threatening thing, simply that I don't want to be part of an event that could very easily lead to someone getting hurt or killed.

Daniel4

It is your problem if you or someone you know gets injured or killed by a drunk driver that you knew you could have stopped from driving.

But how far do you go arguing with a person whose judgement is already impaired or whose logic is that he's done activity 'x' for 'y' years and nothing has happened so therefore nothing bad will ever happen.

This thread is similar to

https://www.bikeforums.net/advocacy-...fety-road.html

with just about the same variation of advice.

genec

This: Or walk. Don't drink and drive. It's that simple. Use a DD or taxi or Uber.

Lucillle

Tough situation. I admire you for thinking it through and ackowledge that both you and others have potential risk. And as thoughtful and caring as you appear to be, if they do DWI and harm someone, I am thinking you will feel guilty. While you cannot influence them for life, I have no doubt that you might have some influence in this particular situation.

KraneXL

And if they're in a room sitting next to you all day? You might want to rethink that one?

Digger Goreman

Two nights ago a cyclist was killed/murdered, in Sandy Springs, GA., by a drunk driver, no license or insurance since his last dui....