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ahsposo 01-23-22 10:34 AM

Is hitting the Sunday morning talk show circuit to protest the suppression of his "3 Musketeers", @thook, @dynodonn and @veganbikes. Blames the moderator junta for frightening them into hiding.

A quote from National Prevaricator Radio's Morning Sedition program: "They are true patriots, not the homophobic sexually twisted bigots depicted in the Lies thread..."

3alarmer 01-23-22 02:15 PM

...using the resources available to him as an important right wing conspiracy theorist, and Conservative fashion influencer, he has put together the anti-wiper movement. This is a collection of miscreants and whack jobs who believe that wiping after pooping is a violation of the natural law, and that it's all a conspiracy of the Deep State, big TP corporate interests, who really run the country.

The anti-wipers are starting to show up at Trump rallies now, and the smell alone takes care of the social distancing expected in a pandemic. So it turns out that he's done some good with all of this, although his real motivation continues to be making a big cash bonanza selling shirts and hats that say, "I Don't Give a ****".

skijor 01-23-22 03:01 PM

His vanity plates read "CORRECT"

3alarmer 01-23-22 03:23 PM

I do have a vanity plate, but the rest of that is a lie ^^^

3alarmer 01-23-22 03:27 PM

He's now making money, selling vanity plates to anti-wipers.

ahsposo 01-23-22 07:18 PM

Is hoping deliberate exposure will give him turd immunity...

3alarmer 01-23-22 08:34 PM

...with the revelation of his essential organizing role in the anti-wiping movement, spread via Twitter and Youtube videos (created by me), he has started receiving death threats from the guys who sniff bicycle saddles. When he complained to me, I suggested he hire better personal security.

veganbikes 01-23-22 08:39 PM

Is on his turd warning from the mods, one more slip-up and he will be flushed from this forum with all of his crap. He was already kicked from the Dookie Howser M.D. forum (a forum for scatalogical Doogie Howser fan fiction) because they are also quite anal about the rules and he refused to wipe his dirty insults away from his posts.

thook 01-24-22 01:22 PM

**** ** ******* **** ****** ******

(rated pg version)

veganbikes 01-24-22 06:17 PM

Even his bleeps are bleeped because they are so dirty.

thook 01-25-22 12:37 AM

he's so dirty even his computer is censoring him. not to mention, greatly offended

ahsposo 01-25-22 07:01 AM

Inspired by current events, he has launched a plan to invade Uranus.

skijor 01-25-22 09:04 AM

Reserves the walk-in autoclave for guests.

3alarmer 01-25-22 12:06 PM

...has an app on his phone that allows him to monitor TP usage by guests in real time.
Anyone who has visited him before knows it's simpler to just bring your own.

skijor 01-25-22 12:18 PM

Constantly reminds listeners "Hey, my lies are up here!".

3alarmer 01-25-22 06:10 PM

...he knows exactly what it's like, to have a bunch of women in a male strip club, eyeing you up on stage, like you're a piece of meat.

ahsposo 01-25-22 07:27 PM

Is pressing stalking and sexual harassment charges against his mirror.

"Every time I see a mirror there's this creepy looking old guy staring at me, follows me around I guess, I can't make him go away..."

3alarmer 01-25-22 08:22 PM

"...mirror mirror on the wall, he's the fairest one of all."

Siu Blue Wind 01-25-22 11:09 PM

Originally Posted by thook (Post 22385499)
**** ** ******* **** ****** ******

(rated pg version)

Understands what "leave this thread" means. ;)

3alarmer 01-26-22 12:32 AM

...just like everyone else in the lies thread, she is pretty casual about wearing pants.

ahsposo 01-26-22 04:47 AM

Knows from experience that 7 out of 10 flaming pants situations occur in the home...

3alarmer 01-26-22 12:47 PM

...he's been pushing the manufacturers for years, to make Nomex pants in more color varieties than uniform blue and safety yellow, because he'd like something to wear at the office, where he really has to tell some whoppers.

ahsposo 01-26-22 08:34 PM

Is a mathematical genius, his life work is applying fractal algorithms to lies to create a lie that infinitely grows and contracts as variables change.

Scientific Murican called his work "Not too shabby. Not shabby at all..."

3alarmer 01-26-22 09:15 PM

...he would never say it to her face. But privately he has told me that he thinks he must be cuter than Siu Blue Wind , because of his wonderful mustache.

ahsposo 01-27-22 05:26 AM

Knows I never said that. I said I think my mustache is fuller than hers...

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