Had a bicep tattoo removed that said Ripping Farts And Breaking Hearts.

He felt a distubance in the Force, but it turned out to be the plate of Rosarita refries he had the night before.

Lives for Wednesday night open mike night at the local comedy club where he always slays 'em with his fart jokes. He has a million of them including

Q: What do you get when Queen Elizabeth farts?
A: A noble gas.

Nickname in high school? Carbuncle.

.
...noblesse oblige is not just another empty concept to him.

Was caught in a compromising position with his little pony.

Is still doing the 3 hour tour.

The rest of the tour watched Mutiny on the Bounty and is looking for an island for him.

Claims his thingy is bigger than skijor 's dinghy.

.
...as god is his witness, he'll never be hungry again.

Says he knows this guy, Frank Lee, and he doesn't give a damn...

Thinks his posts are quality posts but they are neither organic or free range.

.
... until 2016, he had a going business creating bespoke lies for consumers. Then everything went to straight to hell.
When people discovered they could get better lies every day for free, the internet orders dried up, and his business model collapsed.

.
...has always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

Opened a store called "Just No Pants" next to a Just Pants store, but only attracted people like Ahsposo. It didn't last long.

His lies don't last very long either.

.
...there are two differing opinions on how long he lasts. One is his, the other is his wife's.

^^^^^^^^^
Completely realizes that this thread is about telling lies, and the truth has no place in it.

Favorite football coach? Jerry Sandusky.

Finds the No Pant movement titillating though the No Pant Right Leggers were incensed with his observation that the No Pant Left Leggers were packing more genetic equipment.

Puts his no pants on no leg at a time.

Wears his pant on his head to cover his lone dreadlock.

Bikes with a wee bell that tinkles ahead so tenderly and oh-so tentatively.

.
...with his size 58 waist, the unanticipated benefit of no longer wearing pants is that he can now use them for a tent.