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Paint Job Steve 06-12-20 08:51 AM

Had a bicep tattoo removed that said Ripping Farts And Breaking Hearts.

roundypndr 06-12-20 03:22 PM

He felt a distubance in the Force, but it turned out to be the plate of Rosarita refries he had the night before.

ahsposo 06-12-20 05:01 PM

Lives for Wednesday night open mike night at the local comedy club where he always slays 'em with his fart jokes. He has a million of them including

Q: What do you get when Queen Elizabeth farts?
A: A noble gas.

Paint Job Steve 06-12-20 05:56 PM

Nickname in high school? Carbuncle.

3alarmer 06-12-20 06:38 PM

...noblesse oblige is not just another empty concept to him.

Shimagnolo 06-12-20 07:27 PM

Was caught in a compromising position with his little pony.

skijor 06-12-20 10:45 PM

My dinghy's bigger than his whole boat.

roundypndr 06-12-20 11:08 PM

Is still doing the 3 hour tour.

no motor? 06-13-20 03:25 AM

The rest of the tour watched Mutiny on the Bounty and is looking for an island for him.

ahsposo 06-13-20 04:40 AM

Claims his thingy is bigger than skijor 's dinghy.

3alarmer 06-13-20 07:58 AM

. god is his witness, he'll never be hungry again.

ahsposo 06-13-20 09:38 AM

Says he knows this guy, Frank Lee, and he doesn't give a damn...

no motor? 06-14-20 03:07 AM

Thinks his posts are quality posts but they are neither organic or free range.

3alarmer 06-14-20 08:28 AM

... until 2016, he had a going business creating bespoke lies for consumers. Then everything went to straight to hell.
When people discovered they could get better lies every day for free, the internet orders dried up, and his business model collapsed.

3alarmer 06-14-20 01:14 PM

...has always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

no motor? 06-14-20 03:49 PM

Opened a store called "Just No Pants" next to a Just Pants store, but only attracted people like Ahsposo. It didn't last long.

ahsposo 06-14-20 04:36 PM

His lies don't last very long either.

3alarmer 06-14-20 04:50 PM

...there are two differing opinions on how long he lasts. One is his, the other is his wife's.

roundypndr 06-14-20 04:57 PM

Completely realizes that this thread is about telling lies, and the truth has no place in it.

Paint Job Steve 06-14-20 06:32 PM

Favorite football coach? Jerry Sandusky.

Jseis 06-14-20 06:58 PM

Finds the No Pant movement titillating though the No Pant Right Leggers were incensed with his observation that the No Pant Left Leggers were packing more genetic equipment.

ahsposo 06-14-20 08:13 PM

Puts his no pants on no leg at a time.

Jseis 06-14-20 09:43 PM

Wears his pant on his head to cover his lone dreadlock.

jjankie 06-15-20 07:32 AM

Bikes with a wee bell that tinkles ahead so tenderly and oh-so tentatively.

3alarmer 06-15-20 08:14 AM

...with his size 58 waist, the unanticipated benefit of no longer wearing pants is that he can now use them for a tent.

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