He's been scheduling his wife with years of disappointments.

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...distant but insistent, well appointed but disjointed, he disbelieves he is appointed, preferring the idea he's anointed.

Disappointed that he's lost his ointment, because life without it would be pointless.

He developed the Ointmint® a Bengay flavored mint, and is coming out with the Retiremint® which tastes of moth balls and denture cream. So far he hasn't sold a single mint and his wife and kids have left him and he moved to Cuba in hopes to find Mark and get on Shark Tank, not realizing Cuban was his last name not where he is from.

for a minute he thought,"moths have balls?!!" :wtf:

Tried selling his invention, an athletic supporter for moths ("One thize fitths all, no ballth too thmall"), but couldn't get his customer's attention away from the porch light bulb.

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...with Ron Popeil out of the action now, he expects to clean up with his informercial campaign for the Moth-o-Matic®.

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...he's still waiting, because there's more.

still has the fastest rotary phone dialing and the callouses to prove it. and, he remembers several long defunct 1-800 numbers. occasionally he'll call one.....just to see

He still yearns for the days when he would dress to the nines on Saturday nights, and party line the night away.

Is suing "Dunkin" for eliminating "Donuts" from their name.

"It's terrible!" he explained to his lawyer, "I get there look up at the sign and wonder why the hell I'm standing there like an idiot. They can't expect me to remember they still sell donuts."

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING REMARK IS OUT OF CONTEXT.

Stupidest thing ever. Its as lame as Kentucky Fried Chicken changing their name to KFC. No, its more lame in fact. People in New England have been calling Dunkin Donuts, "Dunks" for as long as I can remember. You'd think that the powers-that-be inside Dunkin's corporate would have been all over it, and promoted it as a New England local-flavor thing.

Dunks is what he calls his ball sack when he is done he makes a Boston Cream, you don't want his coffee though

He's still mad that I raided his Dunkin stash in his back yard, fed them to the fat squirrels down at the local park, and along with the fact that he's still unable to locate my Krispy Kreme hoard.

krispy kreme hoard...the name of his entourage banded together in a wild frenzy as they go donut shop hopping. they move slow but, man, they eat fast!!

Has a Krispy Kreme Hoard logo branded on his left butt-cheek. Eats more donuts faster and easier than any cop in Winslow. He is also the leading donut engineer for Krispy Kreme. His newest creation is a donut made from masa trigo, and filled with frijoles. So far its been a success, and Krispy Kreme marketing gurus are calling it The Windbreaker.

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...he's been shopping around his idea for a new fast food franchise, "Duncan McDonuts", looking for venture capital.

Has read and memorized every one of my posts on all subforums here.

Autographed his portraits at the post office.

Has worn the same mask since covid started.

Has worn the same underwear since covid started.

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...he knows where jsharr goes, when he disappears for long periods of time, and it isn't pretty. Nothing in here is pretty, except him.

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...in spite of this, he feels pretty.

has serious tranquility issues....