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ahsposo 12-19-21 09:24 AM

Has another Guinness Record! He officially has the most "chins". 13 total at all times, beating the old record by a whopping 6 chins!

dynodonn 12-19-21 11:41 AM

Has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Thankfully in that he is now too big to fit through his bedroom door, and expose his chins to the world and take away my prize record.

ahsposo 12-19-21 12:17 PM

He's a counter puncher alright. Read my last lie, punched his granite kitchen counter broke a knuckle.

3alarmer 12-19-21 01:31 PM

...working on finding a publisher for his autobiography, "Pants on Fire: My Career in the Big League World of Professional Lying". It's styled as an American hero story, with a tragic, but predictable ending. From his early years as an admirer of Nixon, and the episode where he and roger Stone get matching Nixon tattoos, it's all there in graphic detail. He was at the peak of his game. Then in 2016, it all went south. No longer able to market his traditional lies, that always contained that one shred off truth that made them remotely plausible, the entire lying market changed to demanding fantastical stories, based on magical thinking.

It seems to him like it happened overnight. And he could not adapt, the game had changed, and he was left riding on steel framed lies in a world of carbon fiber.:(

At this point, he's exploring self publishing the book. It's a story that needs to be heard.

skijor 12-19-21 01:51 PM

His constellation, φλεγόμενο παντελόνι (pants on fire), didn't make the [calendar] cut.

ahsposo 12-19-21 05:17 PM

The mods are investigating why so many terrible things have been said about him in this thread.

Speaking on strict conditions of anonymity BillyD said "Where there's smoke, there's fire, you know."

dynodonn 12-19-21 09:37 PM

Like the staff at his senior rehab center, BillyD has put his help/report button on ignore.

3alarmer 12-19-21 10:16 PM

...the whole "pants on fire" thing was not the original reason he stopped wearing pants, but he uses it as a justification to continue.

dynodonn 12-19-21 10:44 PM

His reasoning for not wearing pants has no source based in extreme heat, but due to his being caught with them down so many times, that it was pointless for him to have them on in the first place.

ahsposo 12-20-21 05:29 AM

He only wears pants as a place to store his ants.

thook 12-20-21 09:22 AM

He only wears pants at a funeral. Yeah, it'd be kinda weird....a b o n e r in front of a stiff.

ahsposo 12-20-21 11:54 AM

Can't even afford ants.

3alarmer 12-20-21 12:40 PM

...he's got a business going now recycling old pants into leg warmers.

3alarmer 12-20-21 02:09 PM

...speaking frankly, he just finds wearing skirts to be much more practical than wearing pants.

thook 12-20-21 05:51 PM

Wears a crotchless skort. No one's surprised it's crotchless...or that it's a skort. Just that he's wearing anything at all... :foo:

3alarmer 12-20-21 07:41 PM

...because he pees when he gets excited, his pants catching on fire tend to self extinguish in most cases.

dynodonn 12-20-21 09:35 PM

After being crowned the grand champion of the National Liar's Association for many years running, he is now being mandated to wear certified flame arrestor pants whenever he visits any of the association's venues.

3alarmer 12-20-21 10:15 PM

...after the Boy Scout campfire fart prank, known in the history of that Scout troop as "the first aid for ass burns incident", he understands the value of always being prepared.

thook 12-20-21 10:35 PM

Scoots his butt on the carpet. The wife is concerned he may have worms, but really he just thinks since the dog gets away with it, he can, too! And, besides, it really satisfies that rectal itch. Then, again....maybe he just needs a night on the town. Yeah....that's it

veganbikes 12-20-21 11:22 PM

Likes to sniff the carpet when 3alarmer has his night on the town. It really satisfies his snickers craving. Has also been known to moon the local Hell's Angel clubhouse so he can say he "rectum"

ahsposo 12-21-21 08:47 AM

Put a new bumper sticker on Ye Olde Chariot yesterday that reads My Bad Attitude Can Beat Up Your Positive Outlook.

thook 12-21-21 02:02 PM

He's got a tattoo on his finger ...<<PULL ME>>. It's a bit longer than all the others, but at least it's not quite as long as his nose...

ahsposo 12-21-21 09:14 PM

When he goes pantsless, or as he prefers "pants-free", he always wears white midcalf socks and sandals.

Just because he can.

3alarmer 12-21-21 10:02 PM

...he's still giggling after typing that last lie. Working in the idea, that someone would wear white socks after Labor Day, sends him into a paroxysm of laughter.

ahsposo 12-22-21 06:15 AM

Is an operative for a secretive group run by the ThighMaster...

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