The note in the bottle that washed up on his island read "Hold it down over there, loudmouth!"

.
...he is climbing Jacob's ladder.
He is climbing Jacob's ladder.
He is climbing Jacob's ladder.
A soldier of the cross.

After realizing Kenny Rogers didn't have a military force (like the Kiss Army) he tried to become a member of G-Unit before realizing it was not Kenny G's military force. Also tried with Kenny Loggins Loggjammers but they were not taking applications even though he was very specific about his love of taking up the highway to the danger zone.

.
...he once was lost, but now is still lost. He's also blind, you see.

No, the circle will not be unbroken. He has broken more circles than anyone and always does it quick doesn't go for that by and by stuff.

The National Police Association has awarded him their coveted Rusty Handcuff award for his "Outstanding role as The Usual Suspect That Needs Rounding Up".

He'll be able to accept this honor as soon as Booking is done with him.

Ladies and gentlemen, the man of decadence, the man of avoidance, the man...the devil himself....Ahsposo Söze....

He's a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to mother, He will never put the spirits down even if you get him off the streets

Has an Evil Twin, meateatin4wheelr, who is trolling A&S unmercifully.

Lies angrily.
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...e93751f30e.gif

.
...his quality of mercy is strained.

known as "deadhead ned" liarson back in high school. he was famous and popular for his armpit tricks at the annual talent show contest

He invented the 'Artificial Fart Under the Arm' in aught-four

.
...he has a "trick" armpit, that sometimes goes out. So when he competes in armpit fart contests now, he needs to wear a brace.

Is so terminally hip that his underarm hair is in cornrows.

as soon as all this covid stuff is over, he's vowed to start a new musical genre...."pit hop" under the name jimi pitrix. the necessary waxing is a bit of pain, but hey....all for the sake of art

Is the TOOL that Hondo is going to see in San Antonio.

he is sans pantonio

His lie that caused his pants to burst into flames was responsible for the Great Chicago Fire not the cow he tried to pin the blame on.

Withholds his lies. For you are not worthy.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...934c043c5f.jpg
.
...still an acolyte of General Jack Ripper, after all these many years.

he's lookin' more and more like a raisin. but, he can't help himself. "hey...i love women!!"

https://64.media.tumblr.com/0bf64678...4blro4_500.gif

Thinks he's got real talent when it comes to putting lipstick on a pig. Just announced the Grand Opening of Winslow's Pig N Wig Pretty Parlor.

"Yep, come in an old sow and leave Saturday night's hot date." he told Barbie Queue, Metropolitan Editor for the Winslow Weekly Wanker.

.
...doesn't trust the main stream media, so he only reads the Winslow Weekly Wanker. He especially enjoys the daily crossword. Yesterday, the cross word for the day was "dumbass".

Thinks that the Wanker's Miss January fold-out is really, really hot.

"...man! did you check out the belly on that sow? And those teats! I'd like to wallow with her, for sure..."