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Darth Lefty 02-07-22 02:10 AM

Heís the last member of the bipartisan commission who hasnít quit but no one knows which side heís partial to

ahsposo 02-07-22 07:27 AM

Prefers to end his sentences with a proposition, but this is Monday so a preposition will have to do.

skijor 02-07-22 09:26 AM

Will once again be claiming all of his lies as dependents on his tax return.

3alarmer 02-07-22 01:51 PM

...he didn't have to love me like he did, but he did, and I thank him.

veganbikes 02-07-22 05:12 PM

I want to thank you fallettinme be mice elf agin.

He thought he was Sly but his family was stoned.

3alarmer 02-07-22 05:51 PM

...hold on. He's comin'. Hold o-on, he's comin'.

veganbikes 02-07-22 09:07 PM

He was educated at Woodstock when he starts lovin' himself he can't stop.

ahsposo 02-08-22 03:13 PM

The way he tells it, he quit wearing pants while in the fourth grade.

"Between the lies to my parents, the teachers and the other kids, I was getting first and second degree burns from my damned burning pants. I found without those damned pants I could lie my ass off and stay cool. After a while people just quit noticing you didn't have no damned pants on."

3alarmer 02-08-22 08:48 PM

..."No Damned Pants On" was the name of his high school garage band. They once went on a road trip, and opened for the "Flaming Lips", in a road house in Greasy, OK (population 372). That was back in 1984.

veganbikes 02-08-22 10:29 PM

Flaming Lips is what he calls his mouth after a night "glory". The guys on the other side call him Jethro Tull the way he plays those "flutes" night after night.

3alarmer 02-08-22 11:27 PM

...still remembers the after hours action in the Road House parking lot, growing up in Oklahoma. It was an education in more ways than one. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

3alarmer 02-09-22 05:15 PM

...did not have a high school garage band, because in high school, he lived in a place without a garage.
He always dreamed of road trips, though, so when he turned 18 he started out on one that lasted 20 years.

His biggest regret is that, even with that, he never made it to Greasy, Oklahoma.

3alarmer 02-09-22 05:19 PM


...has developed an App for a word game called "Liedle", where you start out with a lie. You then have five chances to guess which parts of it are actually true, and which part is the lie. It's going to make him a rich man.

ahsposo 02-09-22 06:14 PM

Realized, when he was just a wee lad, that being part of the problem is WAY more fun than being part of the solution...

veganbikes 02-09-22 06:55 PM

He has a problem "weeing" on lads. The solution putting him in jail but he did the same to his fellow inmates in his 10 minutes of computer time each week he posts in this thread to keep his insanity going,

3alarmer 02-09-22 07:50 PM

...prefers to spend his weekly ten minutes of computer time researching his appeal.

3alarmer 02-10-22 11:16 AM

...his phone persona at the sex chat hotline, where he works evenings, is named "Gloria Mundy".

ahsposo 02-10-22 03:29 PM

He had this girlfriend that vomited every time she rode a bus or subway, everybody called her Sick Transit Gloria...

veganbikes 02-10-22 08:31 PM

Vedit, Veniret, ei pecuniam dedit

ahsposo 02-11-22 07:42 AM

Venit, vidit, timuit, fugit

3alarmer 02-11-22 04:30 PM

...he has recently noticed that in order to leap a tall building, he now needs a running start of about 20 feet.

ahsposo 02-11-22 05:52 PM

Confesses to having "...only the vaguest memory of being knee-high to a grasshopper" but doesn't regret it at all and refuses to apologize...

3alarmer 02-11-22 09:20 PM

...he'd rather have vague memories than no memories at all. He repeats this a lot, probably because he doesn't remember that he just said it.

thook 02-11-22 11:32 PM

vagary ....and bribery..... livin' in perfect harmony.....
he sings that a lot. and, is pretty sure that's what mcartney and wonder really meant.

skijor 02-12-22 09:34 AM

Has bowels stronger than that of a Canadian trucker.

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