Wow, am I ever ugly......
 

Had my wife snap some photos of me on my road-bike in an "aero" position to see what I could improve on, but unfortunately I don't have the millions of dollars for the elective surgery to turn me into a young, average-sized, proportional and athletic human. I look like an old turkey or octopus sitting on the bike, long skinny arms and legs, the biggest part being the torso and nose, unspectacular posture.Kind of like a bald Conan O'Brien but much less handsome, older and with less muscle tone. My poor wife. No, I can not post these photos, sorry to keep that laugh from you.

The worst part is I can't imagine contorting, beating and twisting what I saw into a form close to what the photos of top road-racers and time-trialists have on a bike, a task comparable with making mashed potatoes out of carpet remnants or wrenches.

I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like. I guess that will let me sleep tonight then, after I put the military-grade hard-disk eraser into my desktop and let it run until dawn.

There are some things Man was not meant to know.

I had my big wakeup call early in COVID. I shaved my beard for better mask fit. Looked in the mirror. I've got jowls! There wasn't even a hint when I grew it 20 years ago.

I try to maintain well-tended and carefully selected areas of ignorance that help me make it through life. I appreciate it when others help me in that endeavor. 😀

Otto

And if not ignorance, delusion.

Large nose = aero. Aero is everything.

You MUST post the pictures. It’s cruel to tease us.

You know, some of us figured that out in kindergarten.

Congratulations on your (presumed) decades of blissful ignorance.

My girl friend always wonders why I don't like to have my picture taken. This thread reminds me that I probably have a good reason for that

Please, please, please no pictures!

Oh, I am sure they can't be too awfully bad. You did have a shirt on, I assume?

I try to avoid reflective building windows when I ride.

Never ASS-U-ME.

Maybe it was just a bad dream, and I am still actually quite a striking young man. I will avoid mirrors and photos in the future to increase the odds of this. I have also bought a powerball lottery ticket so I may be a very wealthy multi-millionaire, and I will never check the numbers because doing so would collapse that possibility. So I am a young millionaire with movie-star looks with just those few limitations on my lifestyle concerning reality. Done and done.........

Being a millionaire will not be enough. Maybe not even being a multi-millionaire.

Just remember...

You Look Marvelous Darling!!!

https://youtu.be/hXydX9p_ZxA

Wrong on both counts. Just be faster, and the only view that counts is from the rear. So shapely bum and muscular legs are your only concerns.

Or see.
Remember kids:

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Plus: beauty is on the inside.
(Now everyone knows I am Fugly too :D )

I've just been reading an e-book about an ex-amateur local club racer who had just re-discovered the joys of cycling again at 60 after a 30 year break. One of his stark realisations was on coming across one of his ex club racer mates who had got seriously into the local TT scene - complete with full-on TT bike, skin suit, aero helmet/visor etc. The ridiculous image of this now over-weight ageing MAMIL in cling-film was more than enough to get rid of any desire to try to turn the clock back! So he finished up riding a modern Ti-framed endurance road bike slightly slower, but at least with some degree of dignity.

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...0762dafc9e.png

Ahh Fernando! “It is better to look good, than to actually be good!”

PICTURES!!!! Not a single one of you had the nerve to post a pic?

We are not the ugly one. :innocent:

if they can't find you handsome at least they can find you handy. that's my motto

At 73 I would rather 'they' just not find me at all.