Was caught in compromising position with hand dryer in McDonald's restroom...

In a nearly forgotten footnote of history actually found the beef for that querulous old lady in the Reagan campaign. The election was over by then, so he was sent to space on a 'fact' finding mission.

worked at a wendy's during the height of the 'where's the beef?' campaign. he wasn't sure where the beef was, but about $300 worth of condiments and paper products were in the back of his gremlin.

Is made up of equal parts of bone, sinew and gristle.

Finished The Ol' 96-er.

Drinks nothing but craft-brewed Olde English 800.

Loved the feel of a Mickey's wide mouth..for all the very wrong reasons.

Is shooting for gold at Sochi with his cat, Ivan, in the newest event--Giving a pill to a cat. The event is judged on speed, creativity, and blood shed by the owner.

Was plenty big for Mickey's other opening....

Wonders if it is wrong to love duck lips.

worried, cuz he has duck lips...

Has Duck lips to die for...

Speaking of duck-bills, he is still wondering what the plural of platypus is. Platyplorum?

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...knows full well that the plural of platypus is platytude.

Can stick away half a crate of whisky everyday.

Knows that a pack of platypus is platypi, which coincidentally enough, is a delicious pastry to enjoy.

The word 'pastry' always makes him drool more than usual.

Buckets vs. a constant drip, drip, drip, if that helps quantify.

He keeps offering to fix MillCreek's plumbing with his universal expanding mushroom plug.

Just came out to his family and friends and is now openly sad.

Could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

They call him Hoover for less than obvious reasons...

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...was actually sent to the moon in a secret, government program during the Coolidge administration. The tragic failure of that mission kept us out of space until Mercury.

Was the inspiration for The 5 Man Electrical Band's Greatest hit....

...he was blinded by the light.

Is dressed up like a deuce.

not a ******...

Thinks asterisks are a part of speech, like uh and duh and whatever.

Is proficient in Valley Girl speak, like, whatever.

like
totally gagged himself with a spoon

Will use his Shift Key for work.