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ahsposo 06-23-22 08:07 PM

Is the President of the Pen15 Club for Men; not only is he the boss but he's a client too.

3alarmer 06-23-22 09:54 PM

. a third grader, he loves to attend the drag queen story reading sessions at the local branch library. There's always a post story session on makeup tips and tricks.

ahsposo 06-24-22 04:48 AM

Was attacked by two drag queens yesterday in broad daylight and one of then held him while the other did his eye makeup. Looks pretty good, if you ask me. Maybe the lashes are a bit much, but that's a matter of taste...

DMC707 06-24-22 11:26 AM

Once shot a man for snorin' too loud! (with a nerf gun )

cyclokitty 06-24-22 04:06 PM

The nerf gun had too much power and now only throws balled up socks at loud enemies.

3alarmer 06-25-22 05:27 PM

...had a pretty loud enema once, and is still a little embarrassed about it.

ahsposo 06-25-22 07:30 PM

Doesn't seem to remember that there was nothing pretty about that loud enema...

Troul 06-25-22 07:38 PM

likes green eggs & ham.

roundypndr 06-25-22 08:04 PM

The doctor is in, and Lucy is his name, no nickel and dime stuff for him, only a two bit operation for he.

ahsposo 06-26-22 05:48 AM

Likes Lucy to hold them while Charlie kicks his balls.


veganbikes 06-26-22 09:40 AM

Would love for Charlie to kick his balls but he only has peanuts on his van pelt

ahsposo 06-27-22 07:30 AM

Marches to the beat of a drummer that is very normal.

veganbikes 06-27-22 11:51 AM

Doesn't march as that would be out of place but does power walk to the sounds of the ultra rare album "The Three Kenmigos" featuring Kenny G, Kenny Loggins, and Kenny Rogers. He made it in his basement over the course of 20 years and if any of the Kenny's found out they would likely sue him.

DMC707 06-27-22 01:29 PM

Was Feverishly working on a letter writing campaign along with signed petitions to get the 3 Kenmigos together for a Yacht Rock tour, but was devastated at the demise of Kenny Rogers, --- so is trying to recruit Michael McDonald in his place with the stipulation that he now go by Ken Mcdonald

ahsposo 06-28-22 06:40 AM

Spent his young days working undercover as a Girl Scout.

DMC707 06-28-22 10:46 AM

After wondering about the previous guy infiltrating the girl scouts due to the presence of hot single moms and how many boxes he may have tried to eat , got the idea of the Ken-Migos stuck in his head again so
he put together his very own Ken-Migo's iTunes playlist - (with Michael McDonald sitting in for KEnny Rogers on the live shows naturally)

1. Vahevala (K Loggins)
2. Any Kenny G song they all sound similar
3. Ruby (K Rogers)
4. It Keeps You Running (McDonald )
5. Dont Fight it (K Loggins w/ Steve Perry )
6. Any Kenny G song they all sound similar
7. Coward of the County (K Rogers)
8. Yah Mo B There (Ken McDonald subbing for K Rogers )
9. Keep The Fire (Loggins)
10. Any Kenny G song they all sound similar
11. Islands in The Stream (Rogers)
12. I keep forgettin (McDonald )
13. This Is It (Loggins)
14. Any Kenny G song they all sound similar
15. Lucille (Rogers)
16. What a Fool Believs (McDonald)
17. Im Alright (Loggins)
18. Any Kenny G song they all sound similar
19. The Gambler (Rogers)
20. Aint No Mountain High Enough (McDonald)

Then , while nursing a highball of scotch at midnight in his study , he sat back and looked at his work and uttered to himself -- "Damn -- thats a tight playlist ! "

3alarmer 06-28-22 11:04 AM

...has never been tight, when he made up a playlist.

ahsposo 06-28-22 03:07 PM

At Saturday karaoke night down to the Saddle & Spur Saloon he wowed them with his sweet renditions of "Drink to Me Only With Your Lies" and "I Only Have Lies For You"...

DMC707 06-28-22 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by ahsposo (Post 22557015)
At Saturday karaoke night down to the Saddle & Spur Saloon he wowed them with his sweet renditions of "Drink to Me Only With Your Lies" and "I Only Have Lies For You"...

Moved to tears about these songs about lies, but unable to think of anything more sophisticated -- he ambled up to the stage, the stink of Cutty Sark and cheap tobacco about him, and sang "Lying Eyes" by the Eagles. Which would normally be lovely, however the song he had put in queue was Tequila Sunrise and so this was the background music.
Thankfully, the rest of the clientele was in such a state of celebration that only the plump lady running the Karaoke machine noticed, and when she attempted to intervene, he gave her a glare that could melt steel

3alarmer 06-28-22 09:17 PM

...he used to sing karaoke Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, but he decided it was just too much, and he needed more balance in his life. Now on Thursdays he quilts, and on on Saturdays, he strips and dances on the pole at the Gay Caballero Bar and BBQ.

ahsposo 06-29-22 04:14 AM

Is a regular at GCB&BBQ.

Also known as the Pig & Pig...

3alarmer 06-29-22 10:32 AM

...pulled some pork over the weekend.

ahsposo 06-29-22 01:57 PM

His hen wouldn't lay, so he choked that chicken...

DMC707 06-29-22 02:49 PM

Explained to his therapist that if an egg can pop out of there, why cant he go in there? As he was confused about the unnatural feelings he was having towards his feathered barnyard friends

ahsposo 06-30-22 01:54 PM

Just introduced a line of scented candles as aromatherapy. He has candles named "Smells Like My Toes" and "My Morning Breath"..

We all wish him the best with this new enterprise.

veganbikes 06-30-22 08:57 PM

Sells incense in the park while playing UB40 while wearing a wig he stole off a "rasta" banana at the carnival. His scents are Buttcrack Sweat, Patchouli Poontang and Feces Sunrise.

DMC707 07-01-22 01:02 PM

Took out a small business loan and persuaded his new friend from the park to turn over patent rights to "Patchouli Poontang" ------ was kind enough to share a bit of the kitty with the man who invented it and they are now both millionaires !!

ahsposo 07-02-22 07:02 PM

His ancestry is from a line of hunter/gatherers that evolved over the generations into a line of punter/ditherers.

roundypndr 07-02-22 07:16 PM

He made a small fortune in Bitcoin, after investing a large one.

roundypndr 07-05-22 08:41 PM

He made millions from his Red Solo cup stock, and for charity, he'll occasionally be runnin' block for his good buddies.

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