Going through the stages
 

(For those who have not been blessed with a sense of irony…please don’t take this seriously. I can FEEL people getting ready to write “what do you care about what others think?”. I get it. Honest.)

For those who recall being young and virile…

I have completed the fifth stage of grieving over my almost 70-ishship.

Denial - being given the senior discount without asking for it. “I don’t look that old. Do I?”

Anger - “if someone under forty calls me ‘sweetie’ one more time…”

Bargaining - “you know, if I lost some weight and coloured my hair I’d look a lot younger…”

Depression - “I’m invisible to these college girls…”

Acceptance - I dropped some change at the Newport Aquarium. A pretty young girl asked me if I’d like her to pick it up for me. “Yes!” and I thanked her profusely.

That is all.

So your acceptance of advancing age was purchased for a handful of change (presumably less than $1)?

I'm rapidly approaching the same stage. Not from an age perspective, really; more from the standpoint of injuries that finally don't have something better to do. Them, uh, "grabbing" me seems a more-frequent thing that it once did.

Haven't yet had pretty girls running and offering to pick up my dropped change. Or anyone else, for that matter. But the day it's me and my bike, though, I just might have to oblige. Ugly, scruffy cuss or not.

Gettin' older sure is interesting. Whatever else can be said.

One of my local movie theaters has a senior discount for those over 62. My wife is still under 60, while the discount applies to me. We went to the theater get to the ticket counter, she asks for one senior and one regular ticket. The price is less than it should be, so my wife questions the girl at the counter. the girl sheepishly says she did both of them as senior price. My wife was not happy, but she hid it well. I laughed.

Wait a minute ... you have hair?

Every day above ground for oldsters should be a blessing - forget the stages - the alternative is not better.

Accept aging but not mediocrity. Do what you can and enjoy it.

This is an interesting post. I was just telling my younger daughter, 43 years old, that at my age, 72, I am really starting to feel my age. I don't recover like I think I should but I am finding that it is mostly an issue between my ego and what is real. I had my own business for over 40 years that once I started a job I did not have any option but to finish. That is my default but now, retired, I do not have the customer looking over my shoulder and me needing to get to my next call but I think and act as I do. I am working on slowing down my thinking and actions but old habits do die hard. I was so insulted the first time the cashier at Dunkin Dougnuts automatically gave me a senior discount. Now, I really don't care. :D
Frank.

When I found out I was old enough, I'd get the stink eye for ordering a "senior coffee." Now when I order coffee at the counter they'll ask me if I want the senior coffee. Is this progress?

I know the OP was offering up his observations in jest, but last spring I encountered subtle "age-ism" when my buddy was in the Intensive Care Unit and it was scary. My friend is 69 and very fit, however he encountered complications after surgery and was unconscious and on life support with infections and some system failures (Not Covid). Suddenly, this youthful, active guy I've known for 30 years looked much, much older. I am his designated power of medical attorney (which I never thought would come into play) and when I arrived the medical staff began telling me all the things they might do if he were younger and healthier.

I whipped out my phone and showed them photos and videos of us hiking, RECENTLY and explained his daily exercise routine including 90-120 minutes of walking daily. They then decided to switch to more aggressive treatment and after a couple of days he began to recover. Mentally, the sedation had him delirious, but again, I was able to show them videos of him recently lecturing on and discussing labor relations. The staff began to work harder and speak to him more respectfully, even though at the time he wasn't able to respond coherently.

Next week my friend turns 70 and is fully recovered from his surgery and the complications. He's back to his daily routine and I have joined him on some hikes...except now I choke up a little when I think I almost lost him.

I will never forget how horrifying it was to have the medical staff treat him like some elderly write-off.

$1.25

That sounds similar to my former family doctor who rolled out the "you're getting older" crap when I told him about my problems. When I finally insisted on that treadmill stress test, lasted three minutes and blacked out while sitting down, that's when the attention increased up big time. Two weeks later I had open heart surgery to get a new aortic valve — it was a birth defect.
I've benefited from "neglect by the medical fraternity" for most of my life and anything the 'Medicos"tell me I take with a grain of salt and ask to explain it in detail.
BTW the family doctor got a nice letter from me telling him that his services are no longer required.

Where is this 'Newport Aquarium'? Theres one across the Ohio (river) from where I live.

Yikes. I have read somewhere that at least for men, our life expectancy is much longer if we have a spouse or friends with whom we have frequent interaction. I've always chalked that up to attitude and mental health, but you make a good point ... perhaps not. Pretty scary that they are so willing to write off a healthy person like that.

I had a similar thing going on when I had that tibial compression fracture. For most people our age, they recommend PT and that is it. But I am active. I ride a lot, I ski a lot. I hike a lot. And with the deformity from the fracture, it was clear that not fixing it was not a reasonable option. Thankfully, the insurance company agreed.

I've also been struggling with chronic health condition for well over a year now. There are times I think I have aged 5 years in the last year. Professionally, I am starting to look around the room and see that I am the oldest mother**** there. And there are times my heart is not in it. I can afford to retire outright, but want to keep working at least part time. I'm not sure why ... it just seems like the right thing to do, as I have worked my entire life.

Not really missing admiring looks from the 20-30 year olds, though. You never miss what you never had. And besides, as I age, older women look more attractive to me. I guess that's healthy.

So I'll soldier (or really stumble) on, trying to figure it out. In a way, it's like being a teenager ... dealing with life changes and uncertainty.

https://www.audible.com/pd/Younger-N...ook/B002V5B87Q

This is a book I read years ago. Some interesting info pertinent to this discussion..

I believe that’s the one. Great place to go with grandchildren.

I’ve seen that.

I wonder if that’s a generational/cultural thing.

In Quebec, where the young doctors were raised on Derrida and Lacan, I’m told that if you’re in your upper 60s and beyond, the assumption is that you’ve had a good life and now you just squander resources. Sorry for your luck.

As our culture becomes increasingly emotivist/utilitarianist, we will see more and more of this.

It was a real problem when it was discussed in regards to American healthcare a decade ago, but it got lost in all the political bluff and bluster. Oh well.

I'm 60,and battling the pain,the stiffness, the ease of injury, the slowness of healing, and so on. There are some things that hurt, on the bike and off, and while I want them to be "fixed", I also am learning to accept that there are going to be limitations and I'll have to live with some pain.

I still look pretty young and ride stronger than my years. The guys I ride with were all surprised when I told them I was turning 60. I tell them that aging can happen invisibly, inside. They don't like that concept.

At 58, I'm stuck the middle 3. Actually asked a lady that called me "hun", if she was old enough to do so. At least I got a hug for my query. And I'm old enough that that was sufficient to to boost my ego... And I refuse to color or dye my hair. Or do implants or Rogain or...

Yep, who is that old guy in the reflection? Oh yeah.

The biggest challenge for me is accepting the plateauing of performance on the road bicycle. I’m competitive with myself and like to always improve. And on the mountain bike on single track with my adult son, seeing him suggest blues and easier blacks when riding with me….for my sake.
It used to be the other way around.:beer:

Still, I’m on the bike at least 4 times a week, I’m fast in my age group and I don’t make old fart noises when I sit down or get up, so I’m thankful!

I still get a chuckle when buying beer - and the cashier has to verify that I'm over 21... I've taken to saying "Do I get a discount for being three-times the legal (minimum) age?" Or I'll expose my gray chest hair and say "Does this qualify?" when the 'age prompt' beeps and appears on her screen... Hey, I gotta get my laughs while I can! ;)

At 76, I'm still like, "F all that stuff." Denial is not just a river in Africa, it's the ability to change one's reality. It doesn't have to be like that. If there's something I want to change, I try to find a way to change it. There are some things one can't get around, like slower recovery, but there are techniques to get around most of that sort of thing. A couple decades ago, I remember hearing a guy about my age then saying, during an event ride, "I just can't do this anymore. I don't recover fast enough." Of course he can still do it, he'll just be slower. Etc. As we said in the 60's, don't feed it negative energy, get lower gears instead. My wife and I still do hilly rides on our tandem, still do 10-day backpacks in the mountains, just not as many miles as we used to.

All that said, of course there are injuries and diseases that can take one out. It happens. But for those of us for whom that hasn't yet happened, it's still game on.

Twice now, we've had youngers in the gym approach my wife and myself (we work out together) and say, "You're the strongest OOOOOLD people we've seen." I guess that's a compliment. We've been gym members since "79 so maybe so. I went out on a little 28 mile loop from my house today, got a TrainingPeaks TSS of 190 because I attacked every hill hard and tried to never let my PM go below 100w. The funny part is that I only averaged 13.6, but who cares! We'd come down from a 3-day backpack the day before and I got completely wasted, which was the point.

Ride on!

Not looking forward to getting there. I'm 53 and when I'm out with my 29 year old daughter everyone still thinks we're a married couple. And she looks younger than 29. I'm glad grey hair and wrinkly skin isn't pronounced in my family genes.

I am closer to 60 than 70, so, I have that going for me. From age 35 onwards, aerobic capacity declines. Less if we exercise vigorously, more if we lay on the couch. Some of the best estimates come from Andrew Coggan and a British TTer over on a TT forum. Basically, the decline is 0.04 ml/kg per year on average but probably it is 0.03 until age 65 and then 0.05 until age 80 (little TT data for 85 year olds). So, a 4 W/Kg rider at 35 is probably going to be 3 W/Kg rider in their 60's IF they remain fit. Better data exists for runners, but we probably all know this.

I have dealt with really bad chronic cervical pain for 5+ years. When I finished TABR some years ago, I thought my fitness would never be higher. I had to stop riding until my Pain Mgt Doctor asked, "why don't you get one of those laydown bikes" to which I replied, "I would rather die"

So, I accepted riding on a recumbent and have done very nearly 50,000 miles in 4 years with a high of 16,000. My FTP remarkably increased from 286 to 309 watts. Frankly, I think it is because I cannot feel the pain when doing threshold because my neck shoulder, hand, and arms hurt so bad that the pain in my leg does not register. It was like that after rotator cuff surgery or when I broke my ribs. It is like my brain told the ribs to F off, I have bigger fish to fry.

So, I have had to adapt. But, I am not packing it in.

I have had another recent setback doing a thruhike of the Appalachian Trail. Bad sprain to the ankle. I would have been in the White Mountains about now. The young kids on trail were surprised to see an old guy out there. They were doing 10-14 mile days and I was doing 20+.

This morning I go for a pain procedure where they burn the nerves to "kill" them with RF ablation. Hopefully, it eliminates the occipital neuralgia. I did a hard hill workout after dinner last night because today will probably be a rest day depending how I feel after anesthesia

Like CFBoy, I would say never give in.

As far as college girls go, they mostly never noticed me, and when they did I was too clueless to comprehend. The engineer gene is strong in this one. The opposite of my wife's brother, who attracts women likes flies to honey, and who will live and die a lonely man.

Life is different than it was, but still, life is good.