"why aren't you in the bike lane"

this happened to me a couple of days ago. I was riding on the bike/walking path in a very low traffic area, the bike path follows along side the country road and maybe at times gets within 8-10 feet or so of the county road. I had not seen another person walking or biking on the path except my wife who was a riding a couple hundred feet behind me. In fact I don't think I have ever encountered anyone else on this path ever. A freaking US mail carrier who was probably pushing 70 stopped and got out of his mail jeep and started waving a red bucket at me, to get my attention I guess, and yelled at me to stay on the very right side of the path. Kind of caught me by surprise. I said "excuse me" and he said he thought that I was taking up too much of the path and needed to stay to the far right at all times..no wonder we have such crappy mail service....

"Push it Push it Real Good". Was yelled at me out a car window as I was pushing up a long steep hill on a hot day. That was a few years go and they had been running this Burger King commercial with that song a lot. It was totally a joke, and definitely made me laugh.

I've had really good luck with drivers giving me space, the only time I remember that I had someone get close to the back of my bike and then pass very close while accelerating it was a police officer.

I guess my mistake was not waving.

Was recently called an elitist f*** when I politely asked the driver why he tried to kill me.

For a week my 4 year old called me an elitist duck.

This you?...
https://swall.teahub.io/photos/small...it-and-hat.jpg

There have been so many. Just this Tuesday 5 of us were riding on a 2 lane road miles from any town or commercial buildings. The kind of road where you might not see a car for several minutes. Ahead there is a guy with a leaf blower making a huge dust cloud. When we get there my friend says something to the guy and the guy yells at us to ride single file.

One time I was riding solo and on a fairly quiet section of a 2 lane road and there is a guy with a small pick up picking up "Open House" signs and putting them in his truck. As I get close he jumps in his truck and pulls it perpendicular to the road. I couldn't figure out what he was doing, I thought he was trying to make a 3 point turn or something but he just stayed there, blocking the lane. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was blocking me because bicyclists always ran stop signs and broke the law. I was blown away and didn't know how to react. I said "You've never seen me run a stop sign". Then I rode around him and stopped at the stop sign. Very Weird.

But my bow tie matches my socks.

Don't be silly, ducks don't wear socks. Those are spats.