Has recently developed a flying monkey fetish.

His Lying Call Center was relocated from D.C. to Shenzhen where he's known as Genius Liar.

Not only does he save his used Cheez Whiz cans but I discovered he also has a hoard of empty Fart In A Can containers.

Has a cellar stocked with cans of whoop ass for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

.
... collecting recipes for canned and potted meats for future use. His recipe for lady fingers came from "Preppers Quarterly: the magazine for survivors".

every item in his wardrobe was selected
because of an article in
preppies monthly: the d bag handbook

Paces the backwoods trail with a d-bag on his shoulder and a smouldering pickup line, "Hey survivor, ready for a little prep time?".

Still lives in his mom's basement, reading the latest issues of Zombie Rising.

Actually hears the Music of the Spheres when he scratches his nuts.

"It's really celestial! I could do it all day but I have to work, you know." he told ScrotumCareforMetrosexuals.com, a blog he supports.

EDIT

Breaking News!


And is the only contributor! He is making pseudo contributions to the site it seems under false usernames (sockpuppets) like Dirty Dick, Wet Pecker, Saggy Sack, Dragon Acupple, bones_Mc, and turdles to increase his Google revenue!

.
...never scratches his nuts. He much prefers playing a version of the Bach cello suite # 2 that has been transposed for sacks upon them.

.
...there were no clean socks in the drawer when he awoke, so he had to use a couple of online ones to get dressed.

Before he could shave his palm he went blind.

Never tells one lie when two will do.

always knows when he is lying

Rumor has it that he will start typing only in capitals.

"I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM OR DENY THOSE RUMORS." his spokesperson said in a press conference at an undisclosed location.

Is George W. Bush's love child.

Recently found out he has a brother.

He's a ruminant.

Woke up this morning with a new pouch with a joey inside.

Is a seething volcano of barely suppressed marsupial lust.

.
...when stressed, he immediately drops prone on the ground and assumes the pouch position.

just realized his time spent lying has surpassed all the time spent in any other life endeavour ... and he's ok with that.

[i'll think of a lie later.]

...this is not the lie.

Toothless they are not.

Quick they are.

Meaningful, relevant, and insightful.

Not wankers...

Has pronoun trouble.