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mastronaut 04-13-14 08:18 AM

Is never lacking erectus...

trsidn 04-13-14 09:15 AM

has nothing to erecticise anymore...

skijor 04-13-14 09:23 AM

Has nothing to exorcise anymore.

mastronaut 04-13-14 09:40 AM

Needs an exorcism...

skijor 04-13-14 09:48 AM

Part-time mohel, part-time balloon-twisting clown.

ahsposo 04-13-14 11:39 AM

Is Wisconsin's first super-mohel.

3alarmer 04-13-14 12:34 PM

...his fame and status as an ex-super model were what led to the late night infomercial in which he demonstrates his erection exercise program. He makes a pretty penny at it.

skijor 04-13-14 04:04 PM

Knocks 3X before beginning said exercise Penny program.

Njbudman81 04-13-14 04:33 PM

He's a fontanewt

mastronaut 04-13-14 04:46 PM

Knocks three times if he needs me to love him...

3alarmer 04-13-14 06:38 PM

...recently landed the job of body double for Penny on The Big Bang because of his perky breasts. Does all the skin scenes that Kaley Cuoko is too shy for.

ahsposo 04-13-14 06:59 PM

Keeps the fleas of a thousand camels close for those moments when they make the difference.

He's all about the difference.

skijor 04-13-14 07:45 PM

He's too shy shy.

ahsposo 04-13-14 07:57 PM

He's bold as a love glove.

eschlwc 04-14-14 03:45 AM

wins the billy barty lookalike competition at the county fair every year.

ahsposo 04-14-14 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by eschlwc (Post 16668769)
wins the billy barty lookalike competition at the county fair every year.

Doesn't spank the monkey as he doesn't believe in the effectiveness of corporal punishment.

Instead he tries to get the monkey to behave by using gentle, logical arguments that should appeal to the monkey's intelligence.

3alarmer 04-14-14 10:47 AM

...the Funky Monkey is his favorite song. He uses it for his ringtone, and whenever he gets a call, breaks out into a short interpretive dance.

skijor 04-14-14 11:08 AM

On his 1040 under occupation, it says Twerk Choreographer. Turbo Tax keeps saying chance of audit is high. Go figure.

Jseis 04-14-14 11:19 AM

His new workout CD "Nordic Ski Twerking" is literally, a run away hipster hit with its signature move "Teletwerk Yo Partner B******"

ahsposo 04-14-14 01:31 PM

Is experimenting and practicing fwerking in the privacy of his bedroom with a life size cardboard cutout of Miley Cyrus. He hopes to show her his moves in person soon.

3alarmer 04-14-14 03:25 PM

...hurt himself so badly fwerking that he has had to temporarily limit his small interpretive dance moves when his phone rings. I'ts just a temporary setback, 'though.

skijor 04-14-14 05:02 PM

Has perfected the one-cheek-sneak in a church pew.

ahsposo 04-14-14 06:02 PM

Knows how they came to be called 'pews'.

3alarmer 04-14-14 09:26 PM

...nominated for a pewlitzer prize three years running, he has yet to win.:( Maybe next year.

skijor 04-14-14 09:55 PM

Has won Mr. Side Boob Universe, three years running.

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