Likes to sniff used band-aids.

Slowly.

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....sees absolutely nothing wrong with that, whatsoever. Thinks curiosity is a virtue, not a vice.

Hangs out with Girl Scouts only to take his share of the obscene cookie profits.

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....unaware that using the words "obscene" and "Girl Scouts" in the same sentence on the internet alerts the task force . They are even now closing in on his basement lair.

Thought he would escape the task force by expressing how beautifully they expressed their Boy Scout virtues.

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....is very expressive.

Suppresses his inner desire to wear a Girl Scout uniform around the house.

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....never thinks to herself, "Bazinga !" when she posts in the lies thread.

Can't decide whether to go commando or wear the wife's underwear today.

Puts the 'ooze' in boozehound.

Mooned the Google Maps van. NTTAWWT

Likes to lounge around the house wearing nothing more than his Brownie sash.

Lounges with only a sock though it is signed by Flea.

Loves to play "What's My Allergy?" with the grandkids.

Was arrested for certain developments.

Is currently not allowed to not speak of said developments.

Scored a TV show based on ah...his character development regarding certain proclivities.

Is discovering new uses for Valvoline as I type!

Knows that KY is not just the abbreviation for Kentucky.

His favorite breakfast is cream cheese and KY jelly on whole wheat toast.

Proposed a "You got cream cheese in my chocolate/You got chocolate in my cream cheese" ad to the Philly cheese and Hershey people.

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....his recipe for the perfect grilled cheese s'more sandwich won high praise in this year's Bon Apetit contest. His special trick with bacon fat was heralded as genius.

A head cheese connoisseur.

Always gives good head cheese to maintain his esteemed connoisseur ranking.

Makes his own scrapple.