his favorite lego set has a lincoln assassination theme.

when asked to choose between coke and pepsi
he chose rc

Around his neck hangs a runcible coke spoon...this explains the itchy, runny, bloody nose.

drinks coke with a soup spoon
because he heard that was the cool thing to do in the 70s

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....has forgotten that everyone was cool in the 70's. Even he was cool in the 70's. You cannot both live now and have lived through the 70's without having been cool.

.......................................................#Unpossible .

Nowadays, he is not so much cool as he is damp.

Well...that clearly Depends.

'Slimy butt munch' is how he'll fill in his 1040 Usual Occupation slot this year.

In all of recorded time, getting corked is still getting corked.

But, Butt Munch is still special...

Attempts to disguise his plagiarisitc bottom feeding orgy have run a fowl.

Coherent.

Concise.

Bland.

Limps

Satisfies.

...has not been waiting since the new thread started to lay claim to posting #69

His knowledge of 69 comes from tawdry videos and 'special' pages on the Internet.

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....keeps telling the missus that 69 is not nearly as satisfying as 68.

His S.O. desires his fly fishing results in the fabled bonefish.

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....is just one click away from a charge of public avatar defacement, which , given his habitual offender status, ought to result in jail time.

Can't recall if it was the fight in the bone in the fish or the fish in the bone in the fight.

.
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....constantly fighting his overwhelming urges to bone a fish. The fresh caught ones that are still slippery and thrashing around are verrry tempting.

Stumped at how to bait his hook.

When there is a fish to be boned, he prefers them weakly twitching and not putting up much of a fight.