What's the dumbest thing another bicyclist has told you?
 

I'll begin with one of the great standards:
-I always ride on the left, so I can see the cars coming at me.
-It came with reflectors, so I don't need any lights.
-I only ride on the sidewalk, so I don't need a helmet.
This was told to me by someone with a master's degree
in mechanical engineering. Nope, nothing wrong here. :foo:

"You're gay, right?" looking at my World Champion striped socks.

Everything I know I learned from Bike Forums.

John

'I thought you were going inside of me.' IOW, he said he thought I was passing on his right.

I was traveling West and signaled a right turn to go North. Some turtle's egg was riding East on the sidewalk going into the crosswalk I had to cross to complete my turn. He had to have seen me. I thought he had the right of way, and I decided he wasn't going to stop anyway, so I slowed down. He turned left at the East end of the crosswalk, so he was on a course that was parallel to mine. I was going faster than him, and I announced 'On your left'. Without looking or signaling, the shmegegi hung a U-turn, and we both went down. Fortunately, I didn't trust his competence, so I we were probably going 5 mph when we collided - but he was still crossing the road, and I was going North.

We disentangled the bikes. That's when he said it. 'I thought you were going inside of me.' He was right by the curb, for crying out loud. This was last Monday. My hand and back still aren't totally right.

I do owe the POS something, though. His arrogance and incompetence has finally gotten me to ride defensively. I avoided 3 accidents in 25 miles today (actually 3 accidents in the first 5 miles of the ride). First, a kid jumped from the sidewalk to the bike lane right in front of me, without looking, of course. Second, when I had a left turn signal to turn West, a southbound POS rode through his red light, forcing me to slow my acceleration or hit him. Easy choice. Third, I was again heading West taking a right turn. I signaled with a proper right turn signal. A rider going South and wanting to take a left turn just rode into his left lane - which was the lane I was supposed to turn into. No signal from him. I was prepared for their stupidity.

I sort wish I had hit all of them. I would have, too, except that I knew I'd probably end up hurting myself as well as them.... Am I angry? You bet I am. But I'm still going to stay defensive in my riding. (I've driven defensively for years.)

I never had a cyclists in real life say anything dumb to me....Some of the dumbest things I heard cyclists say is right here on Bikeforums.

So you DO read your own posts!

These "What's the dumbest thing _____ has told you?" posts really seem more appropriate for the winter months, when we're all looking for ways to mindlessly waste time.

I think that's pretty much the definition of a set-fulfilling prophecy.

"I have more control descending on the hoods"

"I always use my aerobars on group rides"

"I only use the rear brake"

Those made under all his user names.

"How fast is that bike?" Or the various ads I've seen for expensive bikes described as like a magic carpet ride, pure propaganda. A bike is no better than the rider, the condition they are in, the hills and gravity you have to face.

As I passed two older guys on a climb, one called out, Must be nice to have a battery. I said, I wouldn’t know.

He could have been referring to his pacemaker battery.

I only use 2 gears, that's it, don't tell me to shift .
(a buddy) he was in a 21 speed hybrid Trek.

Well, yeah, feeling of control can be considered inversely related to speed.

When riding my tandem with my wife; Can you tell when she stops pedaling?

Since both pedal sets are connected by a chain, what do you think?

"You'd look better in shorter shorts" - some female at a red light.

“Blue bikes are the fastest.”

Found a half-full bottle of vodka in a dumpster while on a ride:thumb:

Telling people how they should shift is pretty dumb.

We got one of those, “She’s not pedaling!” Comments yesterday.

My example isn't a dumb thing, it's an astute observation.

Years ago when lot of riders were still not wearing helmets (~1989) I was on our weekly 40 mile Out-N-Back ride.

There were about 20 riders in this group ride ranging from amateur racers to recreational riders like me. We all were used to riding with each other and a new guy shows up. Well he tangles with one of our guys' wheels and dumps our guy. I'll NEVER forget the "SMACK!!" sound of his helmet hitting pavement going around 28+ mph. It was unmistakable.

All of us stopped and went back to check on our downed comrade. He was really shook up with a really bad case of road rash. He pulls his helmet off and that's when we saw it. A hole almost all the way through the helmet. He looked up and said, "Any questions why we wear a helmet?".

It was obvious he had a concussion and a couple of us stuck with him and flagged a car down for a ride back in to town (era before cell phones). Had he not been wearing a helmet, I'm positive he would have died right there on the road.

I've never forgotten that sound.


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Unsolicited equipment advice from people who are slower/have less endurance than I do. "You'd be faster if you rode clipless" being my favorite.

If you count Bike Forums, there are just too many gems to choose from.

so, being very 'Off Topic" - I have a different perspective on 'advice from slower' riders...
as a young person, enamored but vastly unknowledgeable about cycling, my primary and quite extensive education into 'performance' cycling came from a bunch of old, somewhat out-of-shape riders in central park, NYC.
They cajoled, made fun of me and at the same time opened my eyes to both the higher side of riding and equipment. I was very, very green, and knew that.
They were old, somewhat slow, over-the-hill gang, who took me under their wing, because my un-initiate status kept them well stoked with humor. Some claimed 'ex-racer' status from their Euro roots (all were immigrants of various nationalities). Their park benches by the boathouse, were my schoolhouse.
Much of what they conveyed, set me on a good and 'lifelong' track, some concepts have since fallen away... I've since been blessed with forming a good life, family and a reasonable living from my passions. Couldn;t have asked for better - 'more' was up to me...
The 'real' racers, at that time in the mid 60's in Metro NYC, were a tight clic, not easy to break into, without the right equipment and the real 'legs'.
So
I'm always careful not to judge an idea solely based on the physical attributes of the idea's origin.
... back to your regularly scheduled programing...

... I love a good joke, but don;t ask me to retell it properly - I just never seem to remember it properly...
same for 'dumb things heard'... if I were asked to imitate Trump... I'd fail miserably... LOL!
Ride On
Yuri