I won the slow-roll !!!
 

My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.

City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.

As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.

Congratulations. It seems you are the victor.

99% of a victory is announcing it first and as loudly as possible. Most people are afraid to counter this type of behaviour, and if you can act a little drunk or crazy during the process it more than doubles the effectiveness, if you actually are drunk and/or crazy then you can never fail.

If you can poop enough for it to fall on to the ground while all articles of clothing are on, it'll be a hot victory!

you ride 52x19? Are you fixed? What kind of ratio is that on a road bike you've got to be cross chaining.

That's just the small crank to big cog ratio.

And then your alarm clock went off?

I hope next time you get the crouching ovation you deserve.

is that you, standing behind the newscaster (on her right, screen left)?



looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought "race"!



https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...9d0fccd4ec.jpg

Cool story, bro'.

I'm eating a single cinnamon roll this morning slowly to savor the flavor. Is that the same as what the OP did?

I don't see "Free Assange" on the back of that shirt. Did our hero lie? I feel so cheated.

BF never fails to deliver.

... humoring you and hoping to exit your vicinity as soon as possible.

The guy was on TV! We are in the presence of an actual celebrity.

Helmetless and no bike pants. Larry would be proud.

I would PAY to see a race between Larry and Beng. We could call it the Troll Tournament.

Only if they start on foot, have to salvage a bicycle to ride, perform dumpster hurdles, chug questionable hooch, and have to solicit aid from strangers in the event of a mechanical.

My money is on Larry. He has youth on his side, he's sometimes clever, and he's loveable in his own weird way.

Bike racing Le Mans style.

we really need to address the mental health crisis in this country.....:wtf:

and ride shirtless.

Heh. Was on TV again just last night. Saw that scene.

You mean the troll-roll?

I won a strider crit once. It was supposed to be for kids, but the rules didn't specifically state adults couldn't enter. I destroyed all those little punks!!!