Well, they got back to me with what seems like a 'that sucks bro'
"Thank you for reaching out, we are sorry to hear about the damaged faceplate.
If the bolts on the Apto faceplate are not set correctly it is possible to strip the threads. We recommend the use of a 4mm hex ball end tool to start threading the bolts into the faceplate and reach torque with the Apto torque wrench adaptor. "
I have never had this issue with stems before, so IDK. Maybe the torque wrench is out of calibration. it has only been used like 8 times and kept in it's box other wise. None of the other bolts on my bike including the ones holding the stem to the searer tube have had an issue. (Maybe I'm lucky?)
Replacement faceplates are a little over $14, I might have bought one, or two even... if it wasn't for the ridiculous $20 shipping.
Didn't even offer to help out and offer the 30% off crash replacement that they offer on their parts. *shrugs
I'm going to have to decide if I'm going to sell the last Apto stem and just buy a different stem or try the last faceplate.