I got my rig, pretty much like what you described.
Ideal doesn't exist, as everyone has a different definition, but I love mine!
Most gravel bikes have a low BB height, and I just hate pedal strike (= crash), but I love being able to accelerate out of a turn faster than other people. ;-)
Also,
The new crux is an Aethos with wider tire clearance you are asking for. Wouldn't that meet your needs?
Also II
Weight is controversial. All I know is mine accelerates and climbs like a bat out of hell (or more accurately it accelerates like my track bike). Weight? Carbon layup? BB height? short chainstays? IDK, I just know it works amazingly well compared to any other gravel bike I've tried.