Way early in the pre www internet days there was a good story of how to train for bicycle touring. Perhaps taken from a book, not sure. I can't find it now, but it included bits like.
Put a colander on your head, don cycling clothes
In broad daylight, carry your bike out into the front yard
Using an ice pick, puncture your rear tire
Wearing the colander on your head and cycling clothes, patch the rear tire
Turn the sprinklers on.
Repeat.
Put on bike clothes and a colander on your head.
Find a busy highway, preferably in the rain
Placed a softball on the shoulder of the busy highway, and sit on it for 8 hours while cursing at the traffic
Put on road cycling shoes, apply grease to the bottoms.
Put you rmost prized possessions on the ground outside a grocery store.
With the greased shoes on your feet and colander on your head, go inside and buy a two days worth of groceries.