Originally Posted by
AdamDZ
Wow, there are a lot of thoughts here, thanks.
Where does my wife fit? She's unskilled and has no formal education in the US and does part time, odd-jobs, she says she can move wherever I go and still find something to do. Besides, our marriage has been a little bumpy in the last year so that adds one unknown variable to this equation. We may not be even married any more a year from now
As bad as it sounds, that would made things easier for me. I know I can survive on my own. Right now we have agreed that we need to cut down on our expenses, get out of debt and move out of NYC. Where and how far, it's still open to debate.
We may try first moving from Queens to the Northern suburbs of NYC (Westchester, for those familiar with NYC). This will get me closer to the "outdoors" while still allowing to keep my job. The problem with living in Queens (or Brooklyn) is that you live on a congested island. Getting out for a nice bike ride means driving out, crossing at least one crowded bridge. If we lived in Westchester I'd be a dayride away from the Catskill Mountains. That would make 3-4 day weekends very possible. Also, Westchester is really nice for cycling while Queens frankly sucks. I ride to work every day and I have enough of my urban cycling
Weekend rides around the town aren't much fun.
Temp agency? Not a bad idea! I know some people who used to work for tempt agencies in IT fields doing short gigs, migrations, etc. I'll have to look into that.
I like the idea of you being able to do long weekends on the bike - it will give you something to look forward to in the near term and give you lots of experiences and enjoyment. So, I would say you should seriously look into the Westchester move. FWIW, I have always looked at work as a means to support my leisure activities instead of dedicating my life to a career. Seems like you might now be thinking along those lines as well.
Since you're in IT, you're employable anywhere you go and consulting is often a very lucrative route. The upside is that the money is great, and the downside is that contracts are often unpredictable. That unpredictability, however, might work to your advantage as you could go on trips between contracts, especially if you have significantly reduced your financial needs through downsizing. Look into IT consulting firms - basically temp work for IT folks and see if anything looks interesting. Also, since you're still working full-time, get certified in your speciality areas. I don't think certs make you a better IT person, but they are something that consulting firms love because they feel it makes you more credible.
Finally, I'm no marriage counselor, but perhaps if you make some of these small but important changes in your lifestyle (a short move, more local touring, considering a change in employment as means to see the light at the end of the tunnel), you might find that there really are many things that you and your wife still enjoy about each other's company instead of focusing on what makes you unhappy.