Concerning the head injuries ... the good news is your thread is perfectly coherent and well written. So you have that going for you.
Maybe post some pics of the problem child bike. People can then weigh in a little more easily.
So much easier sticking to the simple operation of friction shifting and bar tape free of any underlying cables.
As far as drugs, maybe try some mary jane. Listen to some calming music that has positive emotional resonance. Then go for a ride in quiet spaces. Works for many of us.
